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Just joined first day not to have a bet  

 
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi I've looked for help with my gambling I've found it hard to get help and I've just found this site and I hope someone can help me stop. I had my first bet at the age of 14 and I'm now just turning 50 if I don't stop I'm going to lose my family and my mind because it's got so bad I've maxed out my credit cards used all my money it's just got so bad how do you stop yourself from betting.

I hope someone can help kind regards William

 

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Posted : 15th May 2019 10:59 am
Martin91
(@martin91)

Hi your doing the right thing by being here , one thing that helped me was hypnotherapy it’s not a instant fix or cure but it sure is a incredibly good start. I did hypnotherapy over 6 one hour sessions and was given mp3 recordings to takeaway to listen to when I need to . It helped me go over 200 days gamble free but I got complacent and let the habit creep back in , I’m only a few days into starting over with stopping myself. But to anyone looking to stop I’d definitely recommend it as a stopping aid . Good luck for the future 

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Posted : 15th May 2019 4:17 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi Martin thanks for your reply and that idea sounds great I'm going to look into this, I've managed to not have a bet today it was hard as the racing was on TV so I went out for a ramble until 5 o'clock so far so good kind regards William

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Posted : 15th May 2019 6:23 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Read my diary. Similar age etc.

Do what I do

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Posted : 16th May 2019 6:22 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi Willdo69, 

Welcome to our forums and thanks for reaching out.  Please don't be alone with this we are here to support you so if you need additional advice please do call our Advisors on our free HelpLine 0808 8020 133 between 8am and midnight, or by using the live chat button on our webpage.  If you are based in mainland GB, you may be able to receive free 1-2-1 problem gambling treatment if this would be helpful to you. 

Warm regards

Leigh 

Forum Admin 

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Posted : 16th May 2019 11:56 am
Redbar
(@redbar)

Hi William, the road you need travel is never ending unfortunately, you have to commit to this forever which can be scary thought to start with. 

I to started very young and am soon going to hit 50, I've been gf now for just over 2 yrs I will say for me it's had highs and lows, but the non secrets side and openness far out weighs the deciet secrets and lies. 

This sight is very helpful reading how others are simular to yourself and there journey's and tips. 

1st step is you got to want it, 2nd step is putting finances into place, 3rd step is being honest with family they should help you, 4th step is maybe counciling it helped me and it helped my partner understand a little more. 

Finally good luck read my opening thread from 2 yrs ago, I'm still on that journey but it's 1 you can stop traveling on

 

Xredx

 

 

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Posted : 16th May 2019 6:06 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

I was very much other people found arcade machines and could not stop myself from being consumed by thinking it was a challenge to me.

When I walked in the recovery program I did not know or understand my emotional triggers towards people life and situations, in the early years of my recovery there was a lot of resentments rage and anger towards gambling and gambling establishments.

People wanted to blame gambling for their wanting to escape from people life and situations and for how they felt.

The truth is that gambling establishments never made me do any thing I did not want to do.

The truth is that gambling establishments never made me lie that was my responsibility.

The truth is that gambling establishments never made me lose all faith and hope in myself that was fully my responsibility.

So the recovery program is about healing from the pains of my past, to no longer live in the pains of my past,  so it was only when I admitted my  self that my unhealthy habits of wanting to escape in my fears was an unhealthy habit.

What were my emotional triggers, who was I going to talk to about me emotionally vulnerable, who do I trust with my money when I handed it over.

Every pain in my life that was not healed became a fear I did not understand.

Why fear being honest, as a child when ever I was honest I was punished for it, so when the recovery asked me to be accountable and honest my very first unhealthy reaction was fear based, self protection.

Why fear asking for help, when I asked questions often people did not know or understand so they would not admit their ignorance and would say or do some thing that would adversely affect me, another pain and a fear.

Because we are filled with fear walking in to the recovery program there is a lack of trust and feeling uncomfortable talking openly to a group of people.

In some cases people have not talked for over six months and some four months before they opened up and talked, this is a very healthy indication that the rooms were being very patient and tolerant with new people.

A healthy recovery program room should demonstrate patience tolerance and an understanding that people who arrive in recovery have been living in fear most of their life one way or another.

So fear reduces trust grows and our relationship with complete strangers improves and our relationship and understanding with our self improves and becomes more healthier.

It is very important that people do not put pressure of any sort on to new people, to not focus directly to their face, after all our therapy is about our self not about other people.

It is strange that over time our fear of strangers in the meetings reduce yet our honesty is not so open with our partners and our families.

This raises questions with in our self.

Have we forgiven people close to us.

Does any one in my family fear me today, can any one in my family be completely honest with me today.

So in the recovery program abstaining is very important, yet may take some time yet still attend the meetings, yet be honest if you can.

Second important thing is to hand over all finances which seemed an impossibility for me, when I did so I felt that I was being punished as a child.

The truth was I could not trust myself with money, I did not value money, I did not value myself or other people.

Then increase more time and energy in to the program.

At our meeting we read 12 steps each week and also give comments as to what as to what each step means to us.

By hearing so many different perspectives we have a more open mind, and we make healthy conclusions how it works for us.

My questions on walking in to the recovery the recovery program room were very much fear and insecurity based issues, today when question every thing about recovery it is more about fully understanding every thing about how recovery works.

My fear and insecurity based issues faded and was replaced understanding and certainty and belief that recovery would help me become a much healthier person each day.

Gambling of any type is not healthy for me today. 

Wanting some for nothing is not healthy for me today. 

Wanting to escape people life and situations is not healthy for me today. 

Guilt shame remorse resentments change in to pride in my new found healthy skills.

Step two came to believe in what today, in religion not for me,  came to believe in another person recovery, yes for sure, if I am an equal to all people in the recovery program and they are able to achieve success in healthy living then why not me, as an equal we work as a team towards healthy needs wants and goals on a daily basis.

Just for today I will not Gamble is not about the Gambling, just for today I will not Gamble is all about me and setting boundaries for myself to no longer cause myself or other people pain or suffering.

Just for today Gambling is not acceptable,  Gambling is not healthy for me.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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Posted : 17th May 2019 5:02 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi all it's Sunday and it seems like an age since I last had a bet but it's only been 5 days, my family have been great towards my gambling problem, more understanding than I thought they would be, today they're taking me out to the seaside just to keep my mind off the betting and it's helping alot, I've now got to find away to sort out my credit card debt when I think about it, it's just one problem after another how do I go about getting it sorted.

Regards William

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Posted : 19th May 2019 4:10 pm
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