It’s time to stop

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Lorlakayy
(@lorlakayy)
Posts: 2
Topic starter
 

Hi, 

im laura, I have had a gambling problem for years.

before Christmas I was paid and spent £1000 before I even paid my rent and bills.

i got some money today and in the space of a few hours blew it all again on slots before I could even pay some of my rent owed. 

im now faced with rent arrears. Council tax arrears no Money for gas or electric Or food and 22 days until I get paid.

this afternoon I have been reading the stories on the forum and decided to update my Gamstop and block my bank account from gambling (why didn’t I do this this morning?!) 

I regret what I have done massively but I have vowed to myself I won’t go into a new year with the same problem. 

I am worried about my arrears which I can’t pay until the end of the month and by then I will be another month in arrears and I’m especially worried about the council tax arrears I’m wondering where to start with these.

 

i have a mental illness also which I deal with every day. I am under mental health services, gambling is just another problem I have which has got worse over the years. 

I was driven to the brink of suicide by this many times and have spent 5 days in bed with a Great Depression that will not lift but the good news is I’m feeling able to start taking steps to become gamble free. 

im worried about talking to family and friends about this, my mum gets angry and tells me to pull myself together and sort my life out, if only it was that easy. 

I do hope to get better and also sort out the gambling once and for all so here I am to introduce myself and say hello to all members who are in the same boat as me. 

 
Posted : 31st December 2020 4:07 pm
Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
 

Hi Laura, thanks for sharing your story. Well done on putting the blocks in place, I can honestly tell you that you've done the right thing and whilst things may look pretty bleak as of now, the fog will lift soon enough and you will be able to work through this. I wish you all the very best for 2021.

 
Posted : 31st December 2020 10:24 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5976
Admin
 

Hello  Lorlakayy

Thank you for joining the Forum and sharing your story - it sounds like you are going through a very difficult time but have taken positive steps in updating Gamstop and arranging for your bank to block gambling transactions. 

I understand that sharing your gambling problem with family and friends can be very challenging. It may be helpful to let her know about our website, www.gamcare.org.uk so she can understand more about gambling and it's impacts. 

Please remember that you can contact our Helpline, 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 - Our Advisers can provide you with lots of advice and support, including options for treatment if you feel this could be helpful?

I am sure your fellow Forum Users will give you much help and encouragement, so please keep posting.   

Take care of yourself and best wishes for 2021.

Elaine

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 31st December 2020 10:24 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

Hi Laura,

I'm sorry that you are coming to the forum in the situation that you find yourself, it's just an awful addiction.

My first suggestion is to talk to your local council regarding your council tax arrears as well as any utility provider that you might find yourself falling behind with. They can help with a simple repayment plan, even if it means catching up later on when you can afford it.

I found that a little exercise helped me when I was depressed. Not straight away but i noticed the benefit the next day. Also trying to have an agenda each day. Even if it was as simple as get up and have a wash. Eventually the depression lifted and I was able to get some hope back into my life.

Well done on the blocks too, they are both big helps towards stopping.

Chris.

 
Posted : 31st December 2020 11:48 pm
(@richwales1989)
Posts: 5
 

Hi Laura happy new year. 

I understand how you feel with worry about arrears and battling the emotions of stopping gambling. 

The best things you can do is take up. The advice of contacting the council tax/landlords and telling them you will offer to pay an amount and catch up with other payments you can't make.. Its better to be honest and get that set up. That'll relieve the anxiety surrounding that.

Don't worry too much about being short of funds for the next month or two. It seems bleak but once that period has passed you will save a lot more money because you haven't gambled. 

Well. Done for blocking gambling in through your bank. I'd go for gamban and gamstop as well as blocks on devices that you have. It's easier to begin the process of stopping and gives you time time to. Reflect. 

I'm only 2 weeks into stopping gambling. Its tough but utilising gamcare, live chats talking to people on forums really does help. Also take pride when you restrict your gambling.. You've got control to. Stop and that's the key thing. I always felt the online. Slot machines had control. Over me and I was weak to its temptation. Now I feel tempted on days but I get that control and say no i am stronger than you.

Think one day at a time as well. If I can get through today, I have achieved something

It's soo much to consider right now however step by step you can do this.

Rich x

 
Posted : 1st January 2021 12:05 pm
(@layla2020)
Posts: 1
 

Hello Laura,

First of all I'm sorry for my English grammar - its not my first language and ive never had a chance to learn it at school.

When i was reading your post I had a feeling I read my own story because you described exactly what's happening in my life ? I just joined that group and thanks to your post which was first one I read here, i start to believe that finally someone is able to understand what Im going through. Maybe it sounds ridiculous but it gave me a little hope im not alone who has to fight this demon.

I wish you the biggest strength to get through this so you can get your life back - I wish same for myself. Fingers crossed and Good luck girl.

 

Layla2020 X

 
Posted : 1st January 2021 12:44 pm
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 145
 

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your story. I hope some of the strategies are as follow helps:

1. Buy yourself  a copy of a book called The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management 

This is best investment  of £6.99 ever spent.

2. Watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers, especially Phil only etc

3. Open a Monzo bank account and create a pot to yourself  £1 per day as a reward for not gambling (in a year you should see £364 and it is considered to bethis a visual motivation)

4. Finding a replacement for your gambling. This could be everyday things like take a walk, going to the library, reading, keeping fit etc.

5. Forgiveness. Try to separate yourself and your behavior. Try to find the time to discover yourself again.

 

I hope these suggestions help.

 

Xoi

 

 

 

 
Posted : 1st January 2021 4:20 pm
Lorlakayy
(@lorlakayy)
Posts: 2
Topic starter
 

Thank you all for your kind replies!

i have followed much of the advice given, I,ve looked at onlyphil on YouTube and have to say I’ve found his videos to be very helpful.

I also updated my Gamstop and even when tempted and I tried to log in to my accounts I have not been able to do so, so this will work for me.

I am feeling very positive about going ahead gamble free, in a way I am thankful for losing all my money because it gave me the strength to do something about it and stop with this awful addiction.

I am working on a payment plant to be back in front on my rent arrears by next month and overall feeling much more positive that the money I will get cannot be spent on gambling.

 

Ive lived so long in poverty because of my addiction And I’m starting to plan how I will spend the extra money I save from not gambling, after all rent arrears council tax arrears and bills are all sorted I can finally start to get the furniture and bits I need for my home that I’ve needed for so long. 

I’m starting to think I can actually do this this time and for good! 

Thank you all again you are a great support! 

 

 
Posted : 8th January 2021 10:50 pm

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