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If I don't stop now, when will I?  

 
Morethanmoney
(@morethanmoney)

Hi, My name's Scott.

The sheer number of how many introductions that have been made on here is saddening to see, so many people hitting a hollowness low caused by this plague. I do hope a good percentage of these people are free or close to being.

Like so many before me, my introduction to GamCare comes from finally and repetitively running out of money, creating financial regrets and mastering the trait to lie.

My story is simply mirrored to so many others on here; Older brother guides me into the bookies as an 18 year old student. I've always wondered if the path would have been different if one of those two events didn't occur that day? The first being the act of my brother taking me in there in the first place. The Second being the excitement and thrill of turning £20 into £300 that day (The first time I went on roulette, it's like they knew). Or was I just always destined to be dragged under by gambling as so many tv/radio shows and sporting entertainments advertise it nowadays.

Fast forward 11 years... because of gambling I under performed at A-levels, underperformed and eventually dropped out of uni. Managed to fall into an ok job in an ok trade with an ok wage. Spent majority of my wages, took out numerous loans and credit cards. Pretty much lived in my overdraft. Luckily found myself a wife (Scary thinking where I would be without her), managed to help fund my wedding and house (high interest mortgage) by embracing small pockets of gambling free months, maybe a year. Somehow always slipped on the slop of gambling and panicking while trying to hide it. Recently had a child and now have a second on the way.

£2700 left on loans. £2000 left on credit cards. I've finally had enough of the chasing and hiding. Too many nights filled with anxiety sweats and heart palpitations; knowing i've gone too far this time. My Online banking and card have been handed to her and today is the day I stop. I know that if I don't stop the too far would be even further too far next time. I've been honest and told her that if I remained in control of my card, even though I've promised to not gamble, I would gamble as soon as i'm next paid.

Hitting rock bottom for some reason opens your mind to the truths. Too many days and nights gambled and wasted not only money but precious time with family. I'm not naive, I know there's people who are in worse positions or have had it harder for longer due to this disease, it fuels me with hate, hate that we live in a government that lets this exploitery happen. Imagine the possibilities of an economy with no gamblers.

On reflection the only thing not making me regret a single penny of my estimated ***  flushed down the bookies is the 'butterfly effect theory'. If I didn't gamble to this point, I would have never met my wife, nor would any of my two exact children exist: the eldest 1 year old and the second 21 weeks in the womb. I would recommend this outlook to any one who struggles to come to terms with the volume they've spent in the past. However it's not to use as an excuse to suggest gambling isn't all that bad, everyone on here knows how bad it can be...

All that's important now is our future, so let's give this a real go. No more gambling! For myself and the people close to me. I know it's not going to be easy.    

I look forward to hearing everyones stories of success and the battles of hardship on here.      

 

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago 6 times by Morethanmoney
This topic was modified 2 weeks ago by Forum admin
Quote
Posted : 10th June 2021 11:52 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear Scott

Welcome to the GamCare forum. 

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and I hope that you find the forum useful in getting some support and advice from our other forum members. 

I would like to say welldone for taking the steps to makes changes to be gamble free.

Please do give us a call on our helpline if you would like to speak with one of our advisors who will be able to assist you. You can call us on 0808 802 0133 or contact us on our Netline at  https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/  . Our lines are open 24 hours a day. 

Best Wishes, 

Fatou

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th June 2021 6:48 am
hyperel
(@hyperel)

Hi Scott!!  

Few weeks ago , I was choosing between Bankruptcy   or IVA ...  Desperate in any chapter of my life.
Had to block all my accounts for next 5 years  on line gambling ... and first step was so BIG , that the enthusiasm becoming gambling/debt free was with me every single day until I got paid. I have done most important things to save and as everyone knows.... you will find a way to play .. 

I understood one thing after 20 years of gambling.  It is not about the amount... You can lose 10k one day , and get through some how.... But one day, you will lose 100£ and the circumstances can go x100 worse and consequences even worse.  Yesterday I called MOSE to self exclude from bookies , because still now I think betting on football is way too safe than playing roulette (devils wheel).. but NO. Here is the catch... not even a bet, cause if starts again you cannot stop until you spend ALL the money available and unavailable.

My 1st job in Uk :  cashier in Bookie. after 6 months being in that environment : 1 day I played with companies money 12k .... I just lost control of the present. I wanted to run away with some money from the  Safe... but one thought about my little boy just stopped me and he not deserves this. 
I was lucky because I was honest with the company and nothing happened. This thing gave me more confidence that I can continue to risk ...

Yesterday , while waiting  for MOSE to self exclude my self from shops.. and successfully done it, in waiting time for the call, I was literally shanking with 1000000 of doubts and thoughts .... but that also gave me power to say STOP STOP STOP NOW. 
Bless you ALL and STOP NOW.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th June 2021 11:30 am
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

Yes there are thousands of posters and there will be thousands more 

Its a never ending cycle as gambling addiction goes hand in hand with human greed 

i have been on this forum for close to 10 years , I've heard every story under the sun 

But they all have common themes ….. debt, misery , heartache , regret and sorrow 

 The true success stories are far and few between as it is such a difficult addiction to beat 

Debt and gambling go hand in hand and usually its very difficult to get yourself out of both at the same time 

However i have done it ......one of the hardest journeys i will likely ever make and even in the last 12 months with all the covid lockdown nonsense ive been tested time and time again sometimes failing but always finding my way back to the straight and narrow 

I hope when our freedoms are finally restored i can finally leave it all behind me 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th June 2021 12:29 pm
AnonAngel
(@anonangel)

You made my heart jump into my chest. I'm a now ex- girlfriend to a man who has decided he would rather go and gamble then all the dreams we had before. I'm still coming to terms with what's happened, but I got consumed in my own grief that I forgot to remember your sides.

The ones who are physically being the ones drawn down the "rabbit hole" as I have taken to calling it.

You can take it one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time and one year at a time; eventually. 

I know this doesn't take away the cold hard truths and reality to the debts that have built up and the finances lost. The fact however you have posted, your resolve to try again is admirable. Debts can and will be paid back. Even if it takes some time.
What's lost is lost. But you have one of the most precious and valuable things on earth. Love (and a family). Always remember that. 

Like a smoker who gives up smoking, it will always be there calling. You, you alone can fight this. You have to believe in yourself and IF you reach a point when it feels too hard to stand...talk to someone you trust to let that emotion, that fever pour out. Express every single honest truth you have. Then take lots of deep breaths. 

Being honest with how you feel, expressing it to someone, eases the pressure. 

I know this is a hard and difficult road for you. 

One minute at a time okay? You've got this! The fact you are trying; is the perfect first step! 

Well done! 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th June 2021 6:20 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hello Scott And Welcome.

I want to give you a dose of reality because I care and want to make you think.

There are no upsides to gambling behaviour because its a drug addiction and a complate mugs game.

Its to early for you to be reflecting on a butterfly effect which is actually nonsense in relation to gambling. The odds and structure of gambling are set so all the risk was with you.

Meeting your wife and having children is a separate issue. All gambling has done is harm you and I suggest that some regret and reaching out for help will form a strong part of your recovery.

Youve been hooked and you have been used by the gambling dens and the government. Focus on that as there is no silver lining to the gambling we did. After years of study I can draw the simple conclusion that I was duped pushed upon and hooked on a drug addiction that was killing me

You will learn. You have a lot to learn and you can never be complacent again for the rest of your life.

Again I will be blunt to answer your title question. People that dont stop now end up homeless, bankrupt, isolated, desperately alone, suicidal and ultimately dead before their time,

Thats the reality of a monumental scam and drug addiction affecting millions of people.

Tell people close. Go to a GA meeting and make sure your money is controlled by someone else. Its no good to you while your mind heals.

Its a very strong addiction and what will make you a man is realising you must both respect and fear this addiction. Your inner confidence and support group is way more important than trying to write a success story

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th June 2021 10:30 am
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