I just can’t stop no matter what

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(@aadamk)
Posts: 12
 

okay thank you!

 
Posted : 10th January 2021 11:49 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

19/20 days without a bet today. It’s physically impossible to at the moment but thought I’d post as it’s a start but a million miles to go. 

 
Posted : 18th January 2021 4:22 pm
tryinghard1234
(@tryinghard1234)
Posts: 148
 

Well done on 20 days. As others have mentioned this is a mental illness why would we make these choices if it wasn’t? Just keep reminding yourself no matter how hard it gets why you are abstaining and what you are trying to achieve, everyone on here feels what you are feeling and is going through something similar. The positive is you are 20 days without a bet and it will get easier I am told. Good luck and carry on

 
Posted : 19th January 2021 2:14 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

Day 26 today. Still mad at myself with how much I’ve lost and also the time. I am 25 and can’t remember nothing from 18-24 due to only being worried about weather my bet has won or lost on high stakes as I only gamble all or nothing and always be left with nothing as I can’t stop. 

God help my life when the bookies re open even though I’m self excluded. I’m just worried as I’ve gotten into shops I’m banned from. Need advice as soon as possible please as I am going to fail when they re open. I don’t want to gamble but my mind is all over the place. Day 27 tomorrow 

 

take care 

 
Posted : 24th January 2021 4:41 pm
(@lethe)
Posts: 960
 

You can stop. You just have to want to but you're already planning to get round the soft blocks you've made.

Relying on the bookies to recognise you isn't realistic. Handing over your finances and making yourself accountable to someone you trust is a basic first step. If you really want to stop take it then read through the advice here on additional blocks and the steps you can take to address the underlying compulsion.

 
Posted : 24th January 2021 10:12 pm
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 145
 

Afternoon Certifed,

As you had outlined that that monkey is a lot stronger than yoirself- very true as you had found out the hard way.

Please read some of the comments that I had made.

1. Buy yourself the Chimp Paradox book by Steve Peters

2. Open a Monzo account- and pay yourself £1 daily for not gambling

And so on.

Stay sane, safe, calm, and take one day at time

 
Posted : 25th January 2021 3:22 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

Day 27 today. Had my first zoom meeting and it went well. Starting counselling in a couple of weeks and not sure what to think of it. I’ll see how it goes. Hopefully I can finally beat this horrid addiction once and for all but not getting too carried away as I know it’s unlikely with my current state of mind .

 
Posted : 25th January 2021 6:01 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

GF 28 days today. Is it really 28 days though during a lockdown with all my restrictions in place? I went a while without a bet during the first lockdown but the relapsed when the bookies open. I am self excluded but I normally just go straight to the FOBT and put bets on. They just see I’m old enough to be in there and not check if I’m excluded. 28 days is ok but it doesn’t feel like real days at the moment. 

 
Posted : 27th January 2021 1:40 pm
(@lethe)
Posts: 960
 

What restrictions other than the SE you've already discovered to be near useless do you have in place?

 
Posted : 27th January 2021 10:05 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

I have self exclusion, gam ban and also banned from online betting for another 2 years, been banned for 3 years already. I have just created a Monzo account as I’ve had some good reviews on it. Hopefully that will help as I’ve already added the gambling transaction block. I have started the £1 saving per day on there for no gambling so have £28 in there. Very slow progress but when my Monzo card comes what shall I do with it as I don’t want any access to money 

 
Posted : 27th January 2021 10:37 pm
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 145
 

Hi Certified,

Very well done for sorting out the Monzo stuff- first step in the right direction. This is a clear reminder of how many day that you had been gamble free. And it is good for the heart and soul. 

If you do get the gambling urges, stop, go and watch some Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil. By doing this, you will be alert and aware of the urges. As time passes, the gambling urges will become less important- just walk away from it and take time out.

And you soon realised, life will become normal and brilliant again- no sleepless nights, money problems etc. One day, you will say to yourself: "oh why, I didn't do this before,"

It is highly important that you fill your time with productive activities (your gambling time replacement) such as small walks, exercises. Anything  that doesn't hurt you financially, emotionally and spiritually.

Just remember this, the only way to win at gambling is to walk away. 

 

Xoi

Stay sane, safe, calm, and take 1 day at a time

 
Posted : 28th January 2021 2:19 am
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

Day 29 today, so close to hitting a month 

 
Posted : 28th January 2021 5:51 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

Thank you for your kind words. Going ok at the moment I’m just worried when the bookies re open that will be the big challenge with sports going back to normal 

 
Posted : 28th January 2021 5:54 pm
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 145
 

There is nothing that will stop you- barring yourself from bookies when they open. Best thing ever is to walk away as a free man, priceless. 

Xoi

Stay sane, safe, calm, and take one day at a time 

 
Posted : 29th January 2021 10:44 pm
(@certifed)
Posts: 52
Topic starter
 

53 days free from gambling today. Still think about gambling and how I can make more money as my job doesn’t pay very well but my bank account is looking the healthiest it’s ever been. I know what rock bottom feels like and I hope I am turning a corner. The longer the bookies stay closed the happier I am as I know the urges will 100% come back. All block and self exclusions in place. For some strange reason I’m not looking at this forum much anymore and I’ve had that problem before and started gambling again thinking I’m cured but I don’t need to be told I know im not. 

the start to a very long journey ahead continues but I remain strong...for now. Thanks for reading and see you all soon. 

 
Posted : 20th February 2021 9:10 pm
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