I have a serious problem

Sjr12,

Thank you for posting on the Forum today. I am sure our other users will be able to offer plenty of advice and support here. 

I am sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment. I can see how scared you are about having access to money that may prompt you to gamble. I am wondering if you have thought about asking someone you trust to take over your finances for a while? This might help ease those worries about what will happen when you get paid?

Last time you were able to stop for 9 months. This is a fantastic period of time and i am sure you can do it again. Self Exclusion using GamStop might be useful and also downloading some blocking software. (options include https://betblocker.org/ , https://gamban.com/ and there others available too.)

I see you are seeking for the strength to do this. We can offer free one to one treatment that could help you find that strength you are looking for. Please give the HelpLine a call on 0808 8020 133 or use our Livechat to speak to one of our advisers. You are not alone in this and we are here 24/7 to advise and support you. 

Keep posting.

Rebecca 

Forum Admin.

Hi have you told anyone about your addiction? Maybe a partner or family member! If you have someone who you can trust to look after your finances while you try and get better, this may help! Also gamstop and other blocking tools might help and I believe you can stop gambling transactions on bank cards although I’m not sure if all banks do this! I hope you succeed in stopping gambling and wish you all the best ?

Thanks Jadie, 

the first time I told a family member and that helped a lot, she was the only person I told and I hid it from my partner up until this morning. I came clean today and I don’t quite know how I feel about it all yet. He was very understanding and has vowed to support me I just have this overwhelming feeling of guilt and embarrassment. 

we haven’t got on to the subject of finances but we don’t share any bank accounts together or rely on each other for money. At the moment I’d say I’m far too ashamed to hand over the evidence of my habits by giving him access in case he learns just how bad it has gotten. 

hopefully this will change or we can come up with a workable solution. I’ve got Gamstop and GamBan, I always find a way around it though so I think it’s time to get help and talk about it, the cats out the bag now. 

thanks for your well wishes and well done on your journey to recovery! ?

You have an addiction, don't be too hard on yourself. You are not alone and can beat this, but to do so you are going to have to open up fully with full disclosure. Recovery is not an easy journey, but necessary if you really want to tackle this.

Addictions feed off lies, that is the main reason they destroy relationships. When compulsive gamblers come to GA meetings for the the first time they usually have lost of debt built up, but once they but barriers in place they usually can sort out debts reasonably quickly but it takes much longer to build back the trust in a relationship that gets ruined when the lies are revealed.  Its natural we want to protect ourselves and it is uncomfortable baring all but if we keep things hidden we leave future opportunities for future relapses.

My advice would be to look up your nearest GA meeting and start attending, then sit down with your partner and explain everything. I know it may fill you with dread but you will both feel so much better once everything is out in the open and you can really start to tackle this.

you have 9 months under your belt which is great 

but it also means your wise enough to know what you need to be doing to stop , i suspect a part of your subconcious feels like you are in too deep and therefore need to keep gambling 

get passed this and you will be back on the route to recovery 

its not easy but get a month gamble free under your belt and you will start to feel better

Thank you Joe for taking the time to read and reply. I really appreciate your comments and will definitely look into local GA meetings. The thing I recognise that I’ve lacked in the past is accountability and having to repeatedly tell someone how I’m doing. I know my partner will give me that support but it’ll help to talk to people who understand. It’s hard to explain most of the time because it doesn’t make sense in my own head why I’m here, but I am and I need to keep looking forward. Day 2 GF and hope to have many more! 

thanks again, 

Sjr

Thanks Givemethebuzz, 

yeah I think you’re absolutely right, I somehow in my brain think that I’ve lost so much and I need to get it all back to make it right and then I’ll stop. Of course that never happens, the months roll by and I’m back to square one again. 

Im even more sad/annoyed at myself because I’ve seen what a GF life means for me and I’ve let myself down. I can honestly say I’m at my happiest when I don’t gamble but there’s something else behind it all that drags me back to it. 

I’ll get there again, and recognise the small milestones along the way. Thanks for taking the time and wishing you the best on your journey. 
Sjr