I can't stop !!!

Dear @GinandTonic, 

Thank you for posting on the forum and sharing your story. I am sure you will find many of our great forum users give you some fantastic advice. 

Hi ginandtonic. Never played that but plenty of others !! Did you once have a decent win with it in my experience a win makes it your favourite game and that fuels the addiction and then you lose and start chasing your loses. Share a bit more with us if you want to helps us answer you. There are lots of blocks you can put in place I've signed up to gamstop for 5years it excludes you from accessing most uk websites. It's been a gamechanger for me. Not being able to gamble gives you space to make better choices and time to start healing your mind. I gambled for 20years last couple of years addictive and v destructive gambling. Now I'm 26 days gamble free just taking it day by day and I'm coming to terms with it being a lifelong addiction same as alcoholism and drug addiction. What you do now depends on whether you really want to quit. Best wishes and post again if you want to have further input.

I’m 16 days without gambling today and things are becoming really intense and hard for me now. I’m battling the urge to gamble really badly now. I’ve figured out a way that I could gamble if I really wanted to but the one thing that’s stopping me is that dreaded feeling that I know you all can relate too, The “I can’t believe I’ve done this again” feeling, I lost £8000.00 in just under two hours 16 days ago and that’s left me from being more then financially stable to having to borrow money to support my family and bills. This feeling is actually devastating and I’m constantly reminded every second of the day what I have done due to having to budget my lifestyle now. I just can’t shake the feeling off anymore, What do I do? I just want things to be back to the way they were 16 days ago but my head has become programmed in such a destructive way that all I can think about is a big Win being the only thing that will bring my money back. I wish I could be hypnotised From what I’ve done and gambling forever 

It’s totally messed up, I’m here crying out for help and  what am I getting in return. an email from gamcare asking me to subscribe. It’s this about profits or production, I’m asking myself that now. No doubt I will be banned after this but I don’t care.. good luck to you all and I hope gambling never exists in the mind of another person so long as they live but for me help isn’t coming in the form of a forum or this.. peace and f**k GAMBLING 4 LIFE 

Hi consumed you are posting on ginandtonics  thread think that's why people are not seeing you. No one is ignoring you. You need to calm down and post properly

Where do I post? I’m desperate to know because I’ve taken the 1st step by admitting that I’m a pathetic gambling addict but nobody cares. I might as well just accept being a gambler till I die. I can’t take this S**T no more. I haven’t even lost money tonight but I’m still getting those thoughts that I can’t post. I feel like I’m about to fly off the hinges 

@consumed by gambling

Not everyone is on here all the time and not everyone knows what to say.

I do understand though and I get how hard it is. It takes over your life and the real problem is your mind, not the money, despite it being a big factor in your addiction.

Instead of waiting for someone to get back to you, have you tried giving the Gamcare advisers a call to get these thoughts out of your head. Just sharing with someone can help.

I will say this though, if you sit back and wait for help it might not come. You came on the forum because you had had enough of gambling, great first step. Sharing how you are feeling, another good step. No one said it'll be easy but sharing helps.

Get on the chat or find a ga zoom meeting.

It will get easier but don't give up on something that might help. 

Chris.

Thanks Chris but I’ve tried everything, I’ve been to GA but then I had a relapse after 11 months and I’ve registered with gamblock but nothing can stop my minds battle. I know I’m probably sounding really negative right now but but all I can really say is if you know then you know...gambling in my experience is Like being in front of 2 doors, door number 1 has a roulette wheel behind it and door number 2 is a slot machine. I know your probably thinking there is a 3rd door that will take me out of this mind casino but I keep looking for door number 3 only to end up back at door number  1 & 2. I can’t live like this anymore, I’ve never felt such an evil thing as this but despite know it’s wrong I keep finding my returning to it, I want to be free. Free to live a life everyone else. 

@consumed-by-gambling 

Mate I know. I know you said you'd been to ga before but that was months ago. You could get onto a zoom meeting. Remember you're only 16 days off after a long time gambling.

All I can say is that it will get better over time, but my experience of getting better has always been with the support of a ga meeting.

Sometimes you need to just get through each day and it's not easy. Maybe break it down to a half day or even an hour at a time. 

Download the orange and blue books on the ga website and read those. That may help.

Try and have a decent sleep and start again tomorrow. 

I'll try and keep a look out for you tomorrow.

Chris.

Do you have a partner you can talk to? Gambling I know is a very lonely place even when you are in a relationship. I am finding doing a recovery diary on here helpful documenting how I feel. Also not having access to bank accounts, passwords, cards etc is helping me . I had panic attacks whilst I was gambling / losing. I haven't gambled for 26 days and haven't had a panic attack for over 2weeks now. You are right gambling is evil and you need to find a way to escape that evil. Go onto the forum page start yourself a recovery diary . People will read it and post on it give it a try. Hope you find some peace.

Hi Consumed, 

Thanks for posting on the Forum and sorry that you are feeling like this at the moment.

In regards to your query of where to post, please click on this link https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/new-members-intros-forum/ where you will find a section at the top that says add topic. This is where you can start your own personal thread.

If you would like us to move your posts from here into your new thread please let us know by emailing forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk and we can organise this for you. That way we remain respectful of Gin and Tonic's thread whilst giving you your own personal thread for others to see, post and support.

Alternatively, you could start your own diary where others can support you in your ongoing recovery. You can do this by following this link https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/recovery-diaries/

Kind Regards

Dan

Forum Admin