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Hi im new.  


My partner of nearly 4 years has been gambling. He has done it about 4/5 times in the past and each time he has begged me not to tell anyone and promised me he would not do it again. The last time he agreed to have his wage put into my bank every month and i took control of the money. He did have access to our joint account but never touched any of the money in that account. This joint account had alot of money in it which we were using for our wedding. 
5 days ago he decided to tell me he had been doing it again over the last 8 months or so. He told me he had been getting cash back every time he had been doing the food shopping. We had lent his mam a substantial amount of money a few months ago out of our wedding fund and everytime i asked him to contact her to ask if she was able to pay us back he was coming up with all sorts of excuses when in actual fact she had paid us the money back but he gambled the whole lot. He got me to give him some money which he told me was for my wedding present he even said that he had the present at his mams house but in actual fact he just gambled the money. This time around i have realised he has got a big problem and i have told his family. He has been in touch with professionals to help with his addiction and he knows that if he doesnt stop this time then i wont be willing to give him another chance as i have an 8 year old daughter to think about (he is not the dad) 
Im so angry at how sneaky he has been behind my back and surely if he loved me he would not treat me like this over and over. 
i dont know what to do as i am supposed to be marrying this man in 8 months time and i am so worried that we will spend all this money on a wedding and he will do it again and it will of all been for nothing. Do gamblers every really change. Do i cancel the wedding? I would appreciate any advice.

Posted : 5th May 2021 7:02 pm

Hello Stacey

sorry to hear what you are going through.  Unfortunately as gamblers we lie and lie until it catches us out

I was where your other half was a few years ago and thankfully I’m a long way from it now but still remember those dark days

as a start I’d request receipts for everything he spends money on,  that will stop the cash back.

I would also get his credit report as unfortunately I’d imagine there will be more you may not know about.  It’s important you know everything that is going on.

he will only stop if he wants to and it’s important you protect yourself and your daughter.

when at our worst we are horrible people consumed by the chase.  You need to cut his access to money if he can’t justify where it’s going.

keep posting and take care 

Posted : 6th May 2021 12:11 am
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