Support us

gambling slowly killing me  

40 year old dad

Started a new diary again, gambling on and off for 8 years.Tried origionally to stop and joined here back in 2014 ,actually managed 4 years or before end of 2019 and most of 2020.Instead of sports betting online unfortunately found casinos and cryptocurrency a deadly combination.Think definitely been in debt of not had that long period stopping but stole family savings, but time and opportunities and relationships affected and financial drain.Back in 2014 i wasnt ready to accept had a problem really and just playing it , didnt give this insidious addiction and disease respect and attention needed.

I realise now all was doing was abstaining no change within myself or any therapy or ga , so last year was inevitable.Feeling positive today got beacon to call me and telephone appt next mon 9.15.Been attending ga for last  month or so so early days again.Tbh know lot of you do but not counting days as 4 years last time meant nothing , im just treating every day same complacency may come  in if count gf days .But that just me , just for today i wont gamble.Stay strong everyone.

This topic was modified 3 days ago 3 times by 40 year old dad
Posted : 22nd February 2021 2:14 pm

Hi 40year old Dad.

You make a really good point in your post about abstinence and the need to change what's going on within ourselves as well for it to be effective. That's a hard realisation but some people don't always recognise this and I was of them and I'm still finding this "change" thing incredibly challenging. I too was fortunate enough to be assigned a fantastic counsellor from Beacon and I can imagine this will be a brilliant starting point for you. I remember thinking how great it was for someone to have such an insight that they could almost tell me what my gambling thought processes where without me having to struggle explaining them myself! 

I am not a long time non-gambler. I fought against having anti gambling measures in place in the early weeks, thinking I could use self-discipline but I couldn't manage this and it created such a lot of additional anxiety.

You must have presence of mind and incredible fortitude to have previously stopped gambling for four years, that's an incredible achievement. Its a fight but you sound ready and determined. I wish you well with whatever comes next.






Posted : 23rd February 2021 1:07 am

Hi there and well done for your honest post. I completely agree with what you said about that you were just abstaining. I was the same. I had a 6 month period of non gambling but I wasn’t dealing with my issues. This time round it’s different just as it is for you. I wish you all the best 

Posted : 23rd February 2021 11:54 am
40 year old dad

thanks amba and debsy also  ,yes debsy can relate to what you say.Unless make change to your character and thinking are ticking time bomb , with hindsight lucky to have 4 or 5 years away from it by just abstaining. wish you both all the best too, will look out for your diaries both :).Im treating this as relapse , but a tough one and a small taste of what could happen if carry on , and without changing.I have beacon booked next mon and ga f2f really helping to vent and discuss with ppl that truly understand .Its different this time as firstly see it all for what it it is and i actually accept defeat and that have serious problem.I will not gamble just for today.

This post was modified 2 days ago 3 times by 40 year old dad
Posted : 23rd February 2021 2:21 pm
Share this page

Please Login or Register