Hi i am new to this but wanted to introduce myself. I have been gambling for a while now and have finally realised i cant do this on my own. Im not sure how it started. I am a mother of 5 which 4 are all grown up now. 1 is still with me. I have spent years in debt providing my children with everything they need and i suppose the first time i won for me was what made me continue. I also split with my husband for 1 year and 6months and i really think this is when it escalated as i was alone and it gave me something to do and take my mind off the worry. I also lost a parent and treating the gambling as an escape. I am not looking for excuses i am just trying to figure out how i could have been so weak.
I am so proud of my kids and the way i brought them up and so devastated and ashamed that i have allowed this to happen to me. I am supposed to be the strong one and now i have failed immensely. I was aware it was an issue twice before. I got into financial difficulty and told my husband twice. We fixed the problem and it was swept under the carpet and forgotten about and now over 1 year later i am in a worse situation that i was before. I have taken out loans and allowed my overdraft to reach the max and i see no way out. I cannot tell him and yes that is wrong but i am so scared i will lose him through all this.
I came on here last night and have seeked help. I have placed all the restrictions on online and on my phone. I am also starting the counselling. This needs to be the last time as i am not prepared to lose my family over this if i havent already.
Any advise on how to overcome this from those of you have been through the same.
Right now im very angry, digusted and ashamed with myself
Hi.. and welcome.
When all is said and done, it doesn't really matter why we did it, cos its done now, its history. Its working on trying to stop it happening again.
Iv'e been ashamed at my behaviour for decades, but it does me know good. Am starting to work at recovery again. Doing what i have to do to stop myself gambling. It is not easy.
All the best with your recovery. One day at a time
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