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Mooney9118
(@mooney9118)

Hi, 

My name is matt and I have been gambling since I was about 18, I've never really thought of myself as an addict but I think I've spent a fair few years in denial.

I have joined the gamcare forum because I want to change. I have realised that I'm not just destroying my life with gambling but I am destroying my long suffering partners life too. Its got to the point we're if I don't do something about my gambling I will lose her for good. 

I have been with my her for over 10 years and she has always known that I have gambled and she has always given me a hard time about it, I don't b****y blame her as I have been horrendous at times jeprodising holidays/xmas's and even bills. 

 

We have 2 kids together and I do not want to become a part time dad because of this habit. I probably deserve to be but I am been very lucky to have such a forgiving and understanding woman by my side. 

 

I want to be a role model to my kids, not the opposite and I want the best for my family but gambling is taking this away. 

 

I owe a few friends money from this and also a couple of credit cards, nothing major but enough to be a problem. 

 

We only just cover bills when I work a flat week and I always think gambling is the answer to get a bit extra spending money or to pay someone back but 9 times in 10 it makes things worse. I need a massive mindset change and need to kick this habit. 

 

Thanks for reading (sorry if I've gone on too long wanted to get it all said) 

 

Matt

 

 

Quote
Posted : 23rd April 2019 9:53 pm
A 9
 A 9
(@alan-135)

Hello Matt and welcome to the forum :)) 

Not too sure why nobody's replied yet so unfortunately your lumbered with me for now :(( . 

Firstly well done on taking that huge first step of coming here and admitting you've a problem , I know that's not an easy thing to do . 

So I'm assuming your about 28 now going by your post ? and if I'm right then you've got the rest of your life live gamble free and that's something that's achievable and certainly worth the effort of doing . 

I'm not sure what you gamble on or where ? but there's plenty of help on this site as regards to putting blocks in place and self exclusion from sites and shops , maybe take  a look at mixers thread at the top of the page as it's full of great advice when you turn up here . 

Your story is the same as most of us on here , I gambled initially for fun but then had a few wins and thought I could retire and just gamble or at least like yourself top up my income for bills and a few treats for the family ? .

Our gambling brains keep us thinking that when we gamble we are actually doing it for those we love ( sound familiar ) ?  extras for the family , holiday's or day's out and even maybe home improvement's but in reality that's just addiction whispering in our ear " You have a bet if you want " , in all my time gambling (many yrs) I've had some big wins but if you asked me to come up with maybe 4 thing's I used my winning's on I could probably think of one ? the only thing I spent my winning's on was more gambling and that's because us gamblers live by the mantra of "  I cannot win because I cannot stop " , we don't have an off switch buddy that tell's us to flip the switch and stop > 

The good news is that you can beat this mate but you have to want to more than you want to place another bet .

I came here over 3 yrs ago after a lifetime of gambling , a fair bit of debt and not much else but with the help of this forum of wonderful misfit's  I've not had a bet since  .

I had to be honest with my partner for the first time in yrs and thankfully she stuck by me , your's has done the same for now but she won't if you keep at it for any longer , then you risk losing far more than a few quid ? .

Be honest mate , do what you need to do in order to stop yourself getting hold of money to gamble or a place to gamble , then just take it one day at a time for now . 

Keep posting on here and maybe think of starting a diary in the recovery section , you'll get more posts there and hopefully more replies :)) 

Got to dash but if you need to know anything just ask :))

Talk to you soon buddy 

Alan  

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th April 2019 3:42 pm
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

Hi Matt,

Blocking is the key. Do that first and you begin to take back control. Have a read around the site and look at a few posts that'll give you hope and strength.

You've took a brave decision to confront your demons by being here.  Use everything in your power to make this work and advice from this forum (in my opinion) is critical to help you along the way.  You'll find many others like you on a daily basis and lots of new people joining.  Maybe you can be as successful as @alan-135 and be here to help others too?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th April 2019 12:13 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posted by: Mooney9118

Hi, 

My name is matt and I have been gambling since I was about 18, I've never really thought of myself as an addict but I think I've spent a fair few years in denial.

I have joined the gamcare forum because I want to change. I have realised that I'm not just destroying my life with gambling but I am destroying my long suffering partners life too. Its got to the point we're if I don't do something about my gambling I will lose her for good. 

I have been with my her for over 10 years and she has always known that I have gambled and she has always given me a hard time about it, I don't b****y blame her as I have been horrendous at times jeprodising holidays/xmas's and even bills. 

 

We have 2 kids together and I do not want to become a part time dad because of this habit. I probably deserve to be but I am been very lucky to have such a forgiving and understanding woman by my side. 

 

I want to be a role model to my kids, not the opposite and I want the best for my family but gambling is taking this away. 

 

I owe a few friends money from this and also a couple of credit cards, nothing major but enough to be a problem. 

 

We only just cover bills when I work a flat week and I always think gambling is the answer to get a bit extra spending money or to pay someone back but 9 times in 10 it makes things worse. I need a massive mindset change and need to kick this habit. 

 

Thanks for reading (sorry if I've gone on too long wanted to get it all said) 

 

Matt

 

 

Hi

Thank you for your honesty and making a decision to set a boundary for your self.

Just for today I will not gamble, no matter what happens.

Just for today I will not gamble, is not about the gambling or the money.

Just for today I will not gamble, is saying I am not willing to hurt myself or hurt the people I love.

The gambling was a form of escape for me, I would have certain emotional triggers where I could not cope with people life and situations that happened in my life.

The person I feared facing was myself when I went to the recovery program meetings.

By hearing other people therapies I would identify myself in other people both the healthy and unhealthy.

As my time off Gambling got longer the decision to change became much easier.

I was not a stupid dumb or evil person, I was just emotionally vulnerable.

It was important to learn and understand my emotional triggers.

It time going to meetings I would identify my feelings and emotions and cope with them in healthy ways.

My anger was due to my unhealthy reaction to my pains that were not healed, or not resolved.

My anger was also due to my unhealthy reaction to my fears that were not faced.

My anger was also due to my unhealthy reaction to my frustrations that were not due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations that do not go my way.

My anger was also due to my unhealthy reaction to one or all of the emotions and feelings.

Sadly until I reduced my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I would continue to cause myself pain time and time again and not learn from those pains.

I asked myself what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

And what am I going to do about it.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th April 2019 2:52 pm
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