Advice on how to tell my partner..

Can’t offer advice as I just told my partner and it was truly the most difficult thing but it was also the best possible thing because now I can move forward. Good luck sweetie xxx

Hi there! I know exactly how you are feeling, I’ve been worrying for months about my gambling and more so telling my husband. That anxiety has got worse over the past few weeks. I tried so many times to tell him, tried different angles of conversation to try and get it in there, but to no avail I kept basically chickening out!

Yesterday morning I finally told him! Like you with your partner, he knew or had an idea, he didn’t know it had become a “problem/addiction” but knew I’d still been gambling (had a chat around sept last year and he said don’t do it anymore!)

I just said I’d been gambling he said he knew and he had to but he earns more etc, and isn’t addicted! I just said I am it has become a problem, he asked how much I told him! 

Do you know what, it wasn’t half as bad as I expected, maybe because he’d been doing it too, maybe because he already had an idea! He said he was shocked it was a problem but then ways he will help me, joint account, checking my phone etc!

Has it caused you debt? Or are you spending what you would say spend on getting some food, clothes etc the everyday type spending? 

I had got a little loan and increased my OD but not really got us (just me) into any debt per say, and I said this to him, maybe as like a calmer? Could you say that to your partner or do you have debt from it?

I never told until it was too late and they was no other option and that didn't end in the best way as i became single. would i change it? No, i would of changed saying a lot earlier and it might not of ended the way it did. its turned out it all coming out was the best for both of us 3 1/2 years later im still gamble free.

I have seen many people over the years on this site put of telling there partners and the majority of the time it works it well and they think what all the fuss was about.

When telling your partner, you need to sit down be calm tell them everything don't leave anything out it will comeback to haunt you. Some people find it easier to write it down. Tell him how you feel, offer him access to all your bank accounts etc. go through all the people and company's you owe even if its a tenner to aunt Mary tell him now, ask him to help you put blocks in place.

Its a good thing if you've worked out a plan that you can say your going to do things like counselling from Gamcare, attending a local GA meeting.

You say he probably know he probably does but he wont know everything. Expect lots of questions answer them as honestly as you can while keeping calm, there's every chance he will be angry and that's to be expected after all you've just turned his world upside down.

KTF

People react differently, there is no “1” reaction it would seem. All you can do is be honest with your partner, tell them the truth. Tell them you have a problem and you want to get help. 

I told OH that whatever he thinks of me & the situation, be it anger/disappointment, he could be any more of those that I am with myself!

At the end of the day it’s an addiction like any other, only it’s easily hidden unlike other addictions like drugs and alcohol. 

Thats not to take anything away from people’s reactions, which are justifiable, just to know that  it is an addiction like many others that we can’t/find hard to control and that admitted we have a problem is one of the hardest things we can do!