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Dan781
(@dan781)

Im here for the 1st time, despite having just finished a 3rd descent into spreadbetting in 20 years. I was an ex broker who worked in the city for 20 years so thought i knew a thing or 2 about trading.  WRONG!! To keep it short, in 2005 I lost my house, savings and went into IVA which took 5 years to pay off. 2011(ish) had a short bout of gambling which cost a little but i nipped in the bud. Last year started again and its cost quite a bit. This time i decided to get professional from GAMCARE as well as coming clean and being completely honest to those closest to me. Been speaking to a therapist for nearly 2 months now and found it massively helpful.

No gambling for 2 months for me so far, plus learnt a lot about the science that limits you to act in a sane manner while gambling. Not cured for sure, and have to keep working on everything ive learnt so far over the last 2 months, but feel i have the buidling blocks to stay off the websites. For me, the answer was to come clean to those closest to you, and be open and dont write off therapy as mental hogwash(this was a 1st time for me and ive found it enlightening). Accept you are fallible, but work hard on your weaknesses.

I'm more than happy to answer any questions you may have, and will also when time allows reply to some of the forum topics.

Wish everyone all the best on their respective journeys

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Posted : 31st July 2020 11:55 am
EmmaPoint
(@emmapoint)

Talking to you would really help me.  I still have no idea why I went into a kamakazi melt down while trading over the course of three hours, wiping out the year’S profit and then some.  I’ve started to come out of that awful beat yourself up numbing stage.   

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Posted : 1st August 2020 8:31 pm
Dan781
(@dan781)

im more than happy to help. i only signed up here yesterday. do we do this on a chatroom?

 

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Posted : 1st August 2020 9:02 pm
Dan781
(@dan781)

spoke to the moderators on the site and they said to continue on here , which im happy to do. like i said previously, im happy to help, and feel by hearing about other peoples stories it opens an avenue to seeing how others are coping and finding ways to abstain from gambling, and moving on with their lives in a positive direction.look forward to hearing from you.

 

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Posted : 1st August 2020 9:37 pm
Joe-90
(@joe-90)

To be honest reading your post it sounds like you still intend to gamble or trade at some point in the future, this use to be my mentality. I thought if I could sort myself out and stop the binge gambling I could go back to enjoying my regular bets and everything would be rosy. It turned out to be my own mind trying to convince myself that it was ok to feed the addiction. 

This is why its so hard to tackle addiction, but you have discovered one way of getting started in the form of coming clean and getting everything out in the open. Addicts tend to keep it all in their head believing they can solve this themselves which only leads to digging a deeper hole. To tackle it we need support and honesty, this is one of the main reasons GA works so well, you will get honest feedback and support from people walking the same path as yourself. We may be able to talk our way around things with family members or friends but fellow addicts know all the red flags. This is vital to aid recovery and help us to be honest with ourselves. I would always recommend GA as the main path for recovery.

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Posted : 2nd August 2020 1:37 am
Dan781
(@dan781)

Hi joe. Thanks for the reply. Dont take my initial response as punchy. Please read on. I didnt appreciate the beginning of your post to be honest. I know we are all adults here and brutal honesty is what is needed at times, but to say that to somebody you dont know in that manner is a little harsh. I'm an adult and can take it easily, but some people on here are very fragile and probably  nervous about coming on to these forums. Give them harsh truths? For sure. Be a little tactile in delivering it? For sure. Punchy responses can come later after a few back and forth replies.

Just so happens you called me right about wanting to trade again.At the beginning of therapy, once I started learning about the science of what was going on in my head and overcoming it, I still thought about trading and I could fight and beat the science. Picking a winning trade is easy, but everything turns to mush when a losing trade comes, and the cycle of money management and desparation to chase kills any possibility of winning. I always knew that around 80% lose money doing this and in the middle of a therapy session this week, I said it's no shame to be part of that group, and after 20 years banging my head against a brick wall, enough is enough. I'm done. At least I sincerely hope I'm done with it. I'm very lucky to have a good support network and with their help and a lot of effort I wont go  back to it. From here on in its repetition of good habits. 

With regard to ga...personally it wasnt for me. Didnt like it at all. I realise it works for some and that's great but didnt like the faith based approach of it.

 

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Posted : 2nd August 2020 6:16 am
EmmaPoint
(@emmapoint)

@dan781
thank you, good idea, a chat room would help, I really want to understand the science behind this.  GamCare does have chatRooms, are you around to meet in one of those at all?  And also do you have any science links I can look at? Thank you, hugs

Emma

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Posted : 3rd August 2020 7:28 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@dan781

What was your experience of GA? How long did you go, how was faith pushed on you?

Thanks

Chris.

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Posted : 3rd August 2020 10:02 am
Dan781
(@dan781)

My ga experience was around 15 years ago. Went to 1 group meeting. The standup group confessions were constructive but  'God' was I think prominent in 3 of the 12 steps. For me that's a no no. Dont want to offend anyone who believes, but the second that is mentioned to me in any notion, I instantly check out. Like I said earlier, if it works for people, great. For me I knew it wouldnt. I have found the 1 on 1 therapy far more constructive and when that is done I just have to keep on the straight and narrow with everything learnt so far from it

 

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Posted : 3rd August 2020 12:01 pm
Dan781
(@dan781)

Hi Emma. I can never guarantee a time to be on here so when I get back home, I'll drop a few links here that I found useful. Hope it helps

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Posted : 3rd August 2020 12:04 pm
Dan781
(@dan781)

Hi Emma,

If you havent seen them before, some of these links hopefully may be helpful for you. I found it very interesting. Wont fit everybody's agenda, but see what you think.

https://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-and-disorders/addiction/2015/gambling-addiction-and-the-brain

http://www.rebtnetwork.org/whatis.html?fbclid=IwAR2eoVcoTQ7Hrxs4OKz18JoI-H2E6P5ZHifjvrhcDMwDGqb0nxYqHwVthnY

 

https://www.uk-rehab.com/treatment-rehab/how-the-abc-model-can-help-those-dealing-with-addiction-problems/

 

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Posted : 3rd August 2020 3:49 pm
EmmaPoint
(@emmapoint)

Thank you very much Dan, will look at these.  Wish we could talk more easily than this and it looks like we've had similar experiences. 

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Posted : 3rd August 2020 3:58 pm
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