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Wife's gambling  


My wife has a gambling problem.  For a couple of years now she hasn't touched a gambling website until recently.  My wife suffers with depression and anxiety and always worries about money.  She gambled and lost £4k.  All the transactions were done via PayPal which I'm surprised went through as she doesn't have £4k in her bank.

Is there anyway of recouping these losses/transactions and has anyone else experienced a similar problem.

Posted : 7th February 2021 5:12 am
Forum admin

Dear Lyonsie643,

Thank you for sharing on our forum. We offer free help and support for your wife anytime she would like it. We offer it to you too as someone who is trying to help your wife, and you might feel affected by her gambling as well. Your wife could try contacting the gambling operator and also PayPal. However, most people do not get any money back.  Avoiding use of PayPal (closing the account) and using  a bank which can block gambling transactions - we have a list on our website under finance and debt, might be a way forward. If you were willing and your wife consents, you could help your wife manage her finances or take control of them. Also, your wife could consider letting potential lenders know that she does not want any credit by adding a Notice of
Correction (NOC) on  her credit report. Experian and  Equifax offer this service.

Trying to understand what caused your wife's gambling relapse may help her prevent another one.

Best Wishes,


Forum Admin 

Posted : 7th February 2021 5:59 am

Hi Lyonsie and welcome.

The gambling must stop so the first priority is actually protecting yourself and asking her if she will build a solid foundation of openness and honesty.

Ask her is she is truly ready to end this because you will have to manage all the money and ensure she is not getting money you dont know about.

How long have you known she has had a gambling problem? I say that because its not something you could ever just casually monitor. Its a very dangerous and powerful addiction which controls addicts like puppets

The paypal situation is not good and Im fast going off that company for allowing this sort of thing. There have been numerous articles in the papers etc but  paypal still seem to allow this

You need financial advice. Start with organisations like the CAB. She can only pay debts if she can afford it so you need financial advice. A key point is dont worry yourself ill about debts....let paypal do the worrying as they may have to accept a pound per month. They may not have a case for funds which to any right thinking judge are not likely to be there in the first place.

To my mind most financial institutions have a stopper to prevent continued withdrawals into overdraft debt

Im afraid they are her actions. She has to take responsiblity to heal but gambling is an addiction and in that sense she is not in full control of her thoughts and actions.

However its not right that money should clear if she doesnt have that money. I reckon there should be a case in her defense.

However the gambling must stop. If you are willing to help her its a long recovery journey ahead which doesnt have to be too hard if she is fully ready to stop.

Deep breaths...dont rush ahead of yourself and you can deal with this

Best wishes from everyone on the forum


This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Joydivider
Posted : 7th February 2021 7:41 am

I am with you on the PayPal situation. It has also let my husband bet money he doesn’t have in his account. Really wish they could do something to stop it. Unfortunately I don’t think you will get any money back (been there wishing this too). Is your wife willing to accept she has a problem? 

Posted : 7th February 2021 6:37 pm
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