I'm concerned for my son who recently turned 20, he has suffered in the past with depression, when he turned 16 he went crazy buying scratch cards, in the end he never threw any away just kept them all piled up, it then went on to him betting online, he wasn't legally old enough but made up fake accounts.
When he turned 18 he obviously applied for a credit card, I didn't know it wasn't until we found several credit cards in his room and then letters arriving that he never bothered to open, obviously he'd got into a hole and took another card when he'd maxed the first and so on, he now has around 5 credit cards some have 300 limit others 500, at that point he didn't have a job, so had no way of paying them, every single one of them is over the limit, he doesn't pay them so racking up more and more in interest and fees, he now for a year has a decent job and earns around £1800 a month, his brother shown me screenshots from Snapchat where he posted a while back that he knew he had a problem spending £1000 a month gambling online, but he had it under control and now only spends half of that. To me that is still a problem, his credit score is s**t, he is now after a 2nd job, he says its to pay things faster but I think its to feed his habit, he lives at home and within a few days of being paid he's living off his overdraft, I feel this is a slippery slope he's on, he doesn't think he has a problem and I know until they can admit they do there's little to help them.
He's been working from home during this and every morning at 9am I can hear him playing slots or whatever it is he does, and his brother told me he's posting all over Snapchat of his wins, but never his losses, and how he has this formula, all he is doing is chasing losses constantly, in his mind he could spend £10 on scratchcards win a £1 and in his eyes hes won, not the fact he's in effect at a loss of £9
This is the start of the rest of his life, I honestly don't know how bad it can get when he doesn't even have any money left after a few days, if he's obviously not paying his cards off due to all the letters he ignores, there is no other place it can be going except gambling 😔
Sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this situation , I know it can be really upsetting and frustrating as an affected other going through this .
There's support available for your son and yourself and anyone affected by thus , and you are certainly never alone . You can contact us anytime on 0808 8020 133 or via our website on our NetLine service , and please try to encourage your son to also do this.
In regards to the credit score/ debt side of things a good organisation to call would be Step change on 0800 138 1111 . They offer advice on debt and money issues and can help your son set up payment plans and budgets.
Thanks for posting and sharing this and take care.
You can see the problems and he will be delusional about it all because he is an addict.
I hope you can help him see the reality by giving him the reality checks that he needs to seek some help and experience a born again moment.
This addiction totally destroys people and it look as though he is well down the hell road with large debts and out of control with his salary.
I think you can get proactive and tell him its not acceptable under your roof for a start. You also tell him that you love him and that has to be an
I dont think you can stand back and watch him destroy himself. I dont know if he thinks hes the main man and will get angry being told the truth but I can see he is destroying himself .
I cant cover everything now but its a drug addiction and split mind control illness. On that salary he doesnt have money to throw away. make sure he is paying his rent and he will need financial advice t look at these debts.
Bankruptcy is looming and all the stops on the train ride to hell if he carries on with this. I was addicted to slot for forty years and its a nasty illness which arises from issued deep in the soul like depression and loneliness.
I know you love him as a mum but he needs tough love. He cant carry on the way he is, gambling is a mugs game which is designed to create addicts. The slots are the crystal meth of gambling and he is addicted.
I believe you have to confront him to try and help save him...your house your rules. Yes he has to be ready but the bailiffs will be at your door when he defaults on those credit cards. If hes got it cosy at home he will just gamble more
He has to do some cold turkey and you need to learn about the sheer power of the addiction what you are dealing with.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum