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Completely overwhelmed

Hi. Not sure where to start so will summarise. 

Been with my partner 2 years. Best person I have ever met. Kind, 🚗 ng a beautiful person inside and out. Blew me away with his unselfishness and utter awesomeness. I knew he played poker and drank more than he should but he’ll this guy has had a rough time. No real scary red flags everything always had a reason or answer. Last October he lost *** online gambling in 3 hours. I knew previous to this that his gambling problem in the past had really taken its toll and he’d lost so much he couldn’t feed his daughter or pay the rent but he got help and cane out the other side. 

After the *** loss he was devastated and myself and his sister rallied together to support him. He also put his name online with Gambling sites so he banned himself and and registered as cards they couldn’t accept. Then nothing until last week. 10 months later I found out he organised a poker night and told me that night he was staying in with his daughter and watching a film. He’s lied to me. This hurts enormously and his reaction is that it was just a card game and that only played with ***. I am the one whose oppressing him and it’s no big it? Please help.


This topic was modified 1 year ago by Forum admin
Posted : 14th August 2019 8:49 pm
Merry go round

Hi completely overwhelmed. I've read your post a few times. This guy is continuing down a path where he's already 'lost so much he couldn't feed his daughter '. You and his sister rally round and help. He's lying, still playing, taking a risk. This is about how much you are willing to take. Do you want to be blamed for 'oppressing' him continually until he decides to stop? If it was so innocent why did he lie? Red flags are important, not to be ignored. Don't pay his debts, don't sort his problems, don't feel sorry for him, don't believe what he says, only what you see. 

If this is bothering you enough to come here then there is a problem. This normally isn't just a one off. Not just one lie. Keep your finances separate. Compulsive gambling doesn't disappear. It's a long hard slog to keep addiction at bay. Think about what you want, not him or how you can stop him. 

Posted : 15th August 2019 7:25 am
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