It's a journey not a destination

Hey there,

Thanks for the post ☺. No applause (even if i had standing ovation) needed for me walking through the door. I made a packt with myself that i will keep coming back until i start liking it ☺..bitter pills those medicines but only for the better in the long run huh.

Was lucky...got in an open meeting. Good to hear from both sides of the fence....even if i had to check my jeans afterwards thinking I'm sat next to CW (no offence lovely) and had no chance to get out alive...neither her hubby... .i do understand the anger and frustration tho..turn tables around and i would be the same...if not worse.

For me it's deep psychology, always has been...digging and trying to understand myself better. Good to share...agree - disagree - advice - mull over something...just another tool in the armour against this addiction.

Actions not words indeed....

When you can (and want to) update things about your son please. I do hope he is accepting help offered.

Look after yourself

S x

Hi Amom....

Don't know what to respond to your post...truly don't.

Please don't feel pain for me, you have enough on your plate. You're a mum of a wonderful son who has lost his way and trying to find it again. I can only imagine how much it hurts you to see him in pain.

My parents don't know about my situation. In fact, they have seen me refreshed and happy on holiday, sure that me changing shifts to evenings has saved my life. ...only if they knew.
You know how hard it is to ...just hug your Mum, Dad and let all the pain go. How many times i wanted to do that...spill it all out...let it in the open...ask for help, support, love..i couldn't. I will never be able to do it. My closest knows very little about me...their own daughter.

I don't know how close you're with your son..but again..how much kids shares with their parents? Not a lot huh...we want to protect you as much as you want to protect us..i guess that's how we are being raised..I may be wrong but i have a little nagging feeling your family is similar.

I don't know what to say. Only we can seek help i suppose. Sometimes we just need a simple hug...warmth of the heart beating against your chest...familiar calmness and safety only parents can provide...but ya know...us "grown up" guys/ gals...will never ask for it because...as society encourages - we have to be strong and not show weakness.

I will be ok, i always am...I'm just worried about you and your son now. I cannot help you I'm afraid...I'm sorry.

Stay calm dear Cathy everything will work out ok. We deserve better than this and will keep fighting to get there ☺

Hugs from over the pond (((((C))))) xx

Hi Amom....

Not much to say....but... i thanked myself this morning and possibly will repeat it tommorow morning ☺..that's good news for sure!

You're a special lady...another angel in my life...i have quite few of them or so i think...

No more words...silence shall say it all....alongside ((((((((Cathy))))))))

Stay at peace dear lady

B&S xx

Another THANK-YOU from me, from the bottom of my heart.

I hope you & all your loved ones are, well, was gonna say doing ok but that sounds so lame, so I’ll go with @ peace...I’m sure you know what I mean by that.

Thanks Cathy, for always looking out for us fragile people x

Hi hun

Thanks for the hug the other day.
I'm not doing too good. Back in the hell of gambling. Can't stop.

I know I need to drop my ego and reach out for help. Thought about it many times. It's just getting harder by each day, not sure what I am waiting for.

Cathy, addiction I a symptom. Run away and hide from reality. It's believing that it will make us feel better. It's a easy way out of life problems. Glossing stuff over and trying to survive another day...but obviously bringing more strain on ourselves in process.

My sister went through tough path recently. I have listened each time, I offered my company and quiet corner to stay round at, fresh air in my lovely forests surrounding me and a chat...not much of advice but a chat. She is not 100% yet but she will get there. We all make mistakes. Destiny does the job in the end.
Only today I managed to tell her that I am not well. Not sure if she realised that before..it wasn't the case..she was hurting so it wasn't about me. She made a comment today "if not one then another"..lol..this raises a smile, maybe emotions runs in a family ☺

I hope your son is getting help offered. As I said, It's not easy to surrender...but I believe we all do sooner or later.

Look after yourself and I shall return the ((((((((C)))))))) deep from my heart.

Thank you for listening. I have forgotten how to speak and I am not kidding...so this feels like new (long lost) sensation for me...thank you for letting me express my feelings on your page.

S xx

Hi Hun,

B is here as other one was not her. (Feeling overprotective I guess).

Thank you for your kind thoughts and post ☺

Hope you, your family (dogs included) are having a good and peaceful Sunday.

I will do my upmost to stay safe today!

Hugs....

Xx

((((((((((C))))))))))) xx

Thank you for your kind and encouraging post!

I'm blessed having so many Guardian Angels around me!

Keep looking after yourself and stay at peace.

(((((((C))))))) xx

Hi, Cathy,

Thanks for your post.

Sorry to hear that your son has relapsed. I did the same as you, thought that whilst he was ok, I was ok so all was sorted. The clever thing is to genuinely be ok regardless.

My husband is still clean and attending meetings but isn’t prepared to engage in any Steps or digging and anything that sounds like therapy talk is a no go area for him.

I have been reading Robin Norwood and Pia Mellody and attending CoDA and I find that I’m more able to step back, be less affected by the all too regular episodes of silly beggars/games. If anything, I’ve stepped too far back; walls instead of boundaries. Am not great at balance but learning.

CoDA is...interesting because many members are addicts as well as codependents, whereas at GamAnon all are on the receiving end of someone else’s gambling. I’ve always been prepared to don a hair shirt but it’s working, rather slowly and painfully, getting me out of victim mode, making me look at what I need to do. Including looking seriously at my tendency towards sugary foods. I’d recommend it.

Look after yourself.

CW

Thank you lovely

You always seem to come by at the right time and sooth this soul...

I have recognised HALT and so shall be working on it to stay well.
Cooking yummy hot meal to start with...☺

Have a wonderful and peaceful weekend too Hun..

Much love and hugs from me and my lil girl (((((C&family))))) xx

Good morning Cathy

Just wanted to drop by with my most warmest wishes for Xmas and New Year.
You have been on this rollercoaster of emotions your son brought you for a long while....i just wish you peace, serenity, calm and strengh...mostly strength for yourself and everyone around you.

May I take this opportunity to thank you for the support you gave me. You didn't have to....but you did and that just lightened my heart once again! ☺

Much love and peace to you.

Woofs to your four legged companions from my lil B 😉

Hugs

S x

How is your lil one doing Hun?

& How are you yourself?

X

Right back at ya (((((Sandra))))).

I can feel how badly you want to address the addiction in your life. You are not the much older than my son and as I do with him I am quietly praying for a life in recovery for you. He (with the help of AA and a great/demanding sponsor ) is 7 months addiction free. More importantly he has changed so much and seems to have found peace.

Keep working on your recovery Sandra and I'll keep saying a prayer for you.

Cathyx

Cathy, Just wanted to say thank you so much for your post over the weekend. I am so sorry to have read about your and your son's struggles. Clearly you are a very caring person and not at deserving of the situation that you have been placed in. I so hope that for your sake, his sake and the sake of your family that he defeats this terrible illness. Best wishes, Mark x

Hi Cathy,

Another massive THANK you  and appreciation message for your kind thoughts and support.

I wish you and your family all the very best. You so deserve peace and calm after all you have been put through. 

Where is a will, there is a way...I am very proud of your son and may he sticks to recovery and fullfilling life he so deserve. Accordingly, you're being gifted what all mum's should of - joy and pride seeing your little ones succeeding in life.

Much love and my prayers over the pond to you.

(((((((Cathy)))))))) xxx