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I can’t forgive him again!  



ive been with my partner for 4 years, he told me on our 2nd date that he had a gambling problem and was in recovery. As I understood mental health I decided to see what developed with us and give him a chance. He lost his wife of 25 years through his addiction and the relationship with his children broke down. But I still supported him. He moved in and everything was lovely. As time went on he became quite emotionally abusive to me, but with new medication that all calmed.  I then found out that he hadn’t told his family about me, even though he relayed  ‘conversations’ to me that he had apparently had with them about us and our life together. He also told me a huge huge lie but again I understood.
Move on to now, his family now know and are accepting of us, although I’ve still not met them! His parents just want him to be happy, he’s put them through so much. 
We moved in to a new house which I love, been here a year. I found out last night that he has gambled all his wages and can’t pay the rent! I have worked everyday to keep our heads above water and not seems I did that because he had gambled his wages! Always some excuse as to why he couldn’t pay a bill. He lied and lied again. I can’t take it anymore. I have a 9 year old son who has already been through so much as his dad left us, we are friends now but it’s been tough. We are at risk of loosing our home but I can’t stay with him, the lows are out weighing the highs now and I’m mentally drained. My dad passed away last year so I’ve had a lot to deal with. I’m so angry that he could do this! 
I realise that I need to focus on myself and my son, I can’t help him and it’s time to move on but not sure how I’ll manage financially. 

Posted : 1st July 2020 10:48 am

I’m sorry for the painful situation you find yourself in right now. I’m not really in a position to offer any meaningful advice beyond agreeing with you that your immediate priority is to keep yourself and your son safe. I’m hoping that there may be people on the forum who are better positioned to offer you some sensible advice. Best wishes and best of luck.

Posted : 1st July 2020 3:57 pm

Hi Lotty123 and welcome to the forum.

Is there anybody in you family and friends you can call to build a support network?

It seems you have done a lot of "understanding" Perhaps too much. We are not relationship counsellors but we do know about the devastating power of a gambling addiction.

It seems he has a history of repeat behaviour but unless he is ready to stop, its a real problem you must make some decisions about.

He needs reality checks but you need to be safe and free from confontation which upsets you. Perhaps some distance would register with him but we dont know the ins and outs of your relationship

You and your child come first. Im not saying he is inherently bad but he is an addict and he is gambling with your security and your relationship. It is a drug addiction and he has no control over his life

There is a future for you and obviously you deserve better than being constantly worried about your financial security

Ring gamcare again and build some knowledge and strength to make the right decision.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 1 month ago by Joydivider
Posted : 1st July 2020 5:24 pm
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