Evening,
This is my first post on here, so please bear with me.
where do I begin!?
My husband’s footy gambling/betting/trading is just tearing me & our young daughter apart.
Every day I have to put up with him sat for hours, on his laptop AND mobile phone. Betting/trading for hours on end. Sometimes over 12 hrs on a Saturday.
This has lead to our 8yr old daughter becoming angry, emotionally, withdrawn and just not a happy kid. I often hear her shouting or telling her dad to get off his phone and laptop. Stop betting!! As she is so desperate to have time with her daddy. But he just shouts back at her and ignores her plight for attention.
As his wife, it’s exactly the same!! He just ignores my concerns and I want family time for all of us and him to stop being so selfish.
Every single day is the same. Whilst he does as he pleases and myself and my daughter have to suffer this horrible environment in the home.
When asked, he just gets defensive and says nasty remarks? As he knows he is absent but won’t fully admit he is in the wrong. Not being with his wife & child. Making family time precious. Just a war zone instead.
This is just a brief outline of how it is daily and more so in recent months. Christmas wasn’t the best either
Welcome to the Forum @hairyfairy,
It sounds like things are really difficult for you and your family at the moment. Thank you for sharing what your experience. The Forum is a supportive environment and I hope that our other members can offer their pearls of wisdom and understanding to help you through this situation.
I'd like to encourage you to contact our advisers on the HelpLine (0808 8020 133) or NetLine (web chat www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now). They are available 24/7 to offer support and advice, and an all important listening ear for you to talk about what you're going through. We're here for people affected by someone else's gambling just as much as we are for gamblers themselves.
Warmest regards,
Elizabeth
Forum Admin
Hi.. I am a compulsive gambler. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in your shoes.
Maybe write it all down and show your husband how his behaviour is affecting you and your daughter. let him get angry but at least its then all out in the open and there in black and white. If he then chooses to continue as he is at the moment, then at least it would be clear to you that he is not prepared to change and then you can start planning ahead as to the way forward.
From what you say it sounds like your husband is very addicted. The journey ahead is likely to be a long one. You have to decide whether you want to be a part of it. You can see the bigger picture, whilst he lives in his own world. Get your own talking support and read lots on the forum if you haven't done so already. Most gamblers me included don't just stop even when they are motivated to stop and your husband seems not to be motivated. I live alone and don't have children so it doesn't directly effect others.
Anyway, I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.
Hi, am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this, I can relate to so much of your post.
My husband has been a compulsive gambler for 10 years now, and it has been exhausting ,more mentally in my case. He turns into this narcastic person that I don't know. The man I married is not the man or dad that we have now.
I have thought many times about leaving, which scares me so much. We are going through a very tough time just now and I honestly don't know what am going to do. I wish I hated him because it be easier. I've always said if I was to give a friend advice I'd probably be telling them to leave, but when you are in the situation it's so much different.
I wish I had some advice to help you. Your husband like mine, sounds like he's not ready to face reality. I feel so useless as I can see him pushing the self-destruct button but can't do anything about it, only he can. My husband has never sought help in the 10 years. Since the birth of our 4th child 5 months ago he has gotten a lot worse which I didn't think was possible.
I just really wanted you to know you're not the only one going through this, I only found this site a few days ago but has been a massive help.
I hope your husband gets the help he needs and you get your husband back and your daughter gets her dad back.
Stay strong xx
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