TRUE RECOVERY

I read this question about not telling my partner.

I seem in the minority on here.

It would be a massive gamble to tell her, I've EVERYTHING to lose if I didn't get that happy ending that others have , I'd also have nothing.

It will have no bearing on me gambling again, I cant if I want her in my life.it would have the opposite effect on me if it went wrong.everyones situation is different, I've not read someone admitting to his partner leaving them and end up with nothing in life because if it went the wrong way that's my reality. 

I can manage this but only if I do not gamble ever again, which I 100% want .As long as I stick to my plan she's on a no need to know basis.

I know I'm lying etc etc it's wrong but I do not want to roll the dice when for now I dont need to.

People will judge me, no need, I get it, I'm a coward but I want this last chance to put my life right 

It's not cowardice Holy , you have your reasons and that should be enough for everyone . 

I think that you've probably got to work harder than most by not telling and again not being able to confide and share that burden must be so difficult , I'm sure that if you did tell at the moment and it didn't work out you'd probably gamble again just for the comfort of it , which of course would set you back even deeper I don't know ? I'm not Judging you mate , nor should anyone else , I did what I thought best just as you should too .

In time maybe you will or you won't but at least the damage for now has stopped 🙂 

Stick to your plan mate and keep on keeping on 🙂 

Posted by: A 9

It's not cowardice Holy , you have your reasons and that should be enough for everyone . 

I think that you've probably got to work harder than most by not telling and again not being able to confide and share that burden must be so difficult , I'm sure that if you did tell at the moment and it didn't work out you'd probably gamble again just for the comfort of it , which of course would set you back even deeper I don't know ? I'm not Judging you mate , nor should anyone else , I did what I thought best just as you should too .

In time maybe you will or you won't but at least the damage for now has stopped 🙂 

Stick to your plan mate and keep on keeping on 🙂 

    

Thanks for understanding, it does make it very difficult at times but I've got myself in this mess and if I can do this for 2 more years I will "get away " with it.Stopping gambling is my ONLY option and weirdly lying and being deceitful keeps me on track as this is 100% my last chance. 

Hi Holycrosser,

This was intended to be a debate in order for me to learn more & perhaps speed up my recovery if you can call it that. I think it's more about change than recovery and parting with the destructive forces in our lives. At the end of the day we're all walking on the same path but our individual journeys are not just different but unique.We just have to make it our own.

Knowing that you're soon to be married & have so much hope, optimism and aspirations for the future gives me such a lift. I've no doubt that it won't take you nearly as long to wise up as it did me. Whatever you chose to do is your decision and no -one in this world has the right to judge you or tell you what you should or shouldn't do in life or relationships. I simply chose to do what i thought was right for me.

I hope you & your wife have the most fantastic wedding day. and build a strong & happy marriage that brings happiness to both of you for every day of your lives. Get up in the morning forget what or how much you've lost and be thankful for what you have. 

Sincere Best Wishes

AL

Hi

For me recovery is about healing.

The recovery program is a manual to finding a healthy life with out hurting our self or hurting other people.

For me the recovery program helped me get honest with myself.

I could not get healed if I was not willing to admit to myself that my unhealthy reactions to my past was my hurt inner child being in pain.

My instant unhealthy reactions would help me understand that my inner child was not healed.

My instant unhealthy reactions in anger help me understand that my inner child was not healed.

My instant unhealthy reactions in frustrations help me understand that my inner child was not healed.

Do I live in fear of emotional intimacy today.

Do I escape in obsessions today.

Is my life in balance today.

Do I write down my needs today.

Do I write down my wants today.

Do I write down my goals today.

Do I have patience and tolerance with other people today.

Do I have patience and tolerance with myself today.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham