A few weeks ago I discovered my BF had a hidden gambling addiction.
our relationship was wonderful from day one till day I found out. We never had an argument and he was always so kind and loving 2 me and my family.
he had being gambling his monthly pay and then unknown to me using me to sub him by booking holidays ect for the future. He also pretended he was getting money of me for college or other things.
I found out cause in the end he asked me for more money and when I said no it came out he hadn’t booked the holiday we due to go on days later.
i left him that night and he has sense moved out and checked himself into rehab for his issue.
we actually got on like soulmates and relationship was brilliant till this came up. We are both heart broken by it all and in shock.
could I ever trust or forgive what he done? He has admitted his issue and is in rehab, he’s repaid me 70% what owed me already. He has not got a mountain of debt built up and still has a good job
however he never told me he was Also in rehab 10 years ago but admitted he never accepted his issue that time, he felt he could never admit his past of present that he just couldn’t face up to it then.
does he deserve one chance to prove he’s changed and can mange his issue with help of his family who are now in charge of his finances
@absentee
Hi
For me forgiving was a healthy healing process, it takes time yet well worth while.
For me forgiving is not blanking it out and not processing it in a healthy way.
Yes trust is a foundation of any healthy relationship.
Sadly our huge fears reduce any chance of having healthy trusting relationships.
For me controlled an addiction did not work.
For me only when I heal my pains I no longer need or want to escape to unhealthy habits.
Only when I have a healthy relationship with myself can I have a a healthy relationship with others.
The consequences of unhealthy habits is pains fears frustrations loneliness and boredom.
One we heal from our past there are no more unhealthy consequences.
To be healthy is about my healthy interactions with myself.
If I am still reacting from anger pain fear frustrations loneliness and boredom I am not working enough on myself.
The person I need to be honest with today is myself.
My recovery and healing is dependant up on my own honesty and being fearless.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
No,basically gamblers are liars,you will have more stress in the future.I think it’s unwise until he hits rock bottom.
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