IS BEING ANGRY HEALTHY

Stay around positive people , talk yourself down in your mind and ask yourself is it really worth getting angry over this situation - what good will it do. Read passages from the bible, god is good . I knew a person who used to carry a pin and if he felt pain or anger he would P***k himself with the pin. Remember there people worse of than you- count yourself lucky and be greatfull for what you have. When we die material can’t help us, yes there nice but if we can’t have satisfy and one day you will be blessed, I believe in karma as well.... also treat people the way you would want to be treated, the ones that think there above you it’s better to play igonarant rather than to show them that your bothered this is a great skill to have... take each day as it comes , it might not heal your pain but it will help reduce it and deal with it... Face your fears with a stronger you I hope some of the tips above help you- goodluck and I hope you live a happy and healthy life. We may have a sad and unfulfilled life but my motives are my kids, if you have children then that should be part of yours if not then do it for family or yourself

My view is that some anger is part of the process. You then have to learn to let it go and head towards the serenity of knowing whats really important is important. Its a natural human emotion but a destructive one because it only really leads to mental destruction or violence

I see anger all around me now because people feel worthless, frustrated and duped. Anger comes from confusion fear and insecurity. people are working now and they feel angry for having little to show for it...you see this in road rage and waiting in queues etc

A gambling addict will feel confused when starting a recovery. Its dawning that reality is here to stay and that can be a scary thing.

People are scared of talking about anger. Im not saying we should go raving mad but there is a focus on feeling wronged and then building yourself into something stronger with an inner peace.

Not easy but its all part of the recovery. If there wasnt a means for me to gamble on machines I couldnt have done it but I have to take some responsibility for my actions.

I dont believe its all my fault...others disagree with that statement but I know I was a drug addict and they were pushers

So in summary you realise that anger will just eat us up and get us into trouble so we have to calmly let it go

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi,

I believe all our emotions are there for good reason (to keep us alive and safe), but when our emotions are misplaced and are not proportional to the situation causing them then they will need to be addressed so that they don't lead to unhealthy behaviours and consequences.

When I first entered the journey of self discovery I had many unhealthy emotions which came from my past experiences (during developmental years) which drove my behaviour (gambling) and consequences (for myself and others).

I believe I'd still be actively gambling today if I wasn't practising mindful living with a total understanding of what makes me tick.

I spent so many years fighting the gambling addiction and with countless relapses. I found that when I worked on the relationship with myself and found healing from my past the desire to gamble disappeared very quickly.

I had lots of fear about looking at myself and my past but it's without doubt the best choice I have ever made.

Kind regards.

For me anger is an unhealthy reaction to people life and situations.

Often in being angry I would say or do some thing that would adversely affect me or other people.

What pains of the past are still causing us to have an unhealthy reaction to people life and situations.

The hardest to understand was my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

By me having unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I was causing my self pain time and time again.

Once we *** our serentity we understand that we are not able to change control or regulate other people.

With my serentity we understand that we change our self, that we stop being dissapointed by life itself.

In time the highs of gambling are reduced and replaced by the stimulation of getting our life challenges and tests done, things done we were once in fear of, and being more self sufficient and orientated towards achieving goals in every day life, understanding our needs our wants and our goals is an important part of our recovery.

On a daily basis I write down my and our needs my and our wants and my and our goals.

Are our motivations healthy today, do I do things resentfully today, do I do things reluctantly today, do I enjoy getting things done.

There is less procrastination and more saying I will.

I will is my motivation and accountability to myself, to do teh very best I can do.

Recovery is all about progress not perfection.

In the beginning of my recovery program I was just a talker.

Today I am more of a walker.

Walliss77 wrote: Hi, I believe all our emotions are there for good reason (to keep us alive and safe), but when our emotions are misplaced and are not proportional to the situation causing them then they will need to be addressed so that they don't lead to unhealthy behaviours and consequences. When I first entered the journey of self discovery I had many unhealthy emotions which came from my past experiences (during developmental years) which drove my behaviour (gambling) and consequences (for myself and others). I believe I'd still be actively gambling today if I wasn't practising mindful living with a total understanding of what makes me tick. I spent so many years fighting the gambling addiction and with countless relapses. I found that when I worked on the relationship with myself and found healing from my past the desire to gamble disappeared very quickly. I had lots of fear about looking at myself and my past but it's without doubt the best choice I have ever made. Kind regards.

How did you do it mate, I’m intrigued by your post here, thanks.

Hi,

I believe all our emotions are there for good reason (to keep us alive and safe), but when our emotions are misplaced and are not proportional to the situation causing them then they will need to be addressed so that they don't lead to unhealthy behaviours and consequences.

You will hear people say that we have good feelings and bad feeelings.

I tend to think that we have ehalthy or unhealthy feelings.

To live in our reactions of our pains and our fears is not ehalthy, so that every pain causes us fears we do not understand.

Our reactions in anger indicates that we are still reacting in unhealthy ways to our previous pains fears and frustrations time and time.

We are still reacting to our past pains and only when we heal our pains can we stop reacting in such unhealthy ways.

So only once we abstain and stop self abusing our self can we start to ehal the hurt inner child.

It is not possible to ehal if I am still hurting myself.

The addictions and obsessions are just the symptoms that my inner child is not healed.

Because of traua in my child hood I was not able to mature and mature in healthy ways. in effect I found it difficult to be educated in a healthy way.

My physical age and emotional age did not match up.

I found that my ability to learn was stunted if I could not understand the logic behind the education.

An idicator of immaturity was my sulking like alittle child.

My inablity to be honest due to my fears of assoctaing honesty as being painful.

Only by stopping being actively gambling would I be able to stop causing myself pains and not escape in my fears that I did nto understand.

It is only by giving up unhealthy habits could I embrace healthy habits and activity.

Sitting on my hands doing nothing was white knuckling my recovery.

Our relapses is a leanring curve, what was my last emotional trigger.

How can I deal with people life and situations in a much healthier way.

Yes the person we fear facing the most is our self.

The 20 questions is not about beating our self up, the 20 questions is about us being accountable to our self.

Only once we are being accountable to our self only then can we open up to the fears we ahve of emotional intimacy with others, this being done to one person we can trully trust.

Yes once we have a healthy relationship with our self can w ehave relationship with other people.

The word desire to gamble indicates it is an a passion or a love to gamble, this is not quite true, to go to any addiction or obsession is a form of escape in our fears. Not the same thing.

The adrenaline rush the aniticipation the excitement was not happiness it was very much fear based.

How did I do it mate,

You question is a very good question.

Only once we admit to our self we are emotional vulnerable can we say to our self today I will not gamble is aboundary we set for our self, it is a value we set for of our self,

Yet abstaining is not enough, it is only when we are stimulated by our therapies we both see and feel our self in other people who give honest therapies.

We see our self in them as we use to be yet in their succcess we see our self in who we can be and how healthy we can live our life with our emotioanl triggers.

The wording intrigued is a very healthy word which also links us to being stimulated to learn and understand more of our self.

The wording intrigued indicated we are open minded and can relate to other peoples healthy recovery.

It is our choice to become healthier and more active both in our recovery bu also in our relationships with other people.

Our expression of our gratitude and appreciation is an expression of our healthy values today.

Thank you for your comments kindness and open ness to me.

regards Dave of Beckenham

AKA Dave L

Hi Joydivider

Anger is an unhealthy reaction ot our pains fear and frsutrations.

Anger indicates that we have not healed our hurt inner child.

Anger indicates that we have not faced our fears,

Anger indicates that we have not reduced our unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

By us having unreasonable expectations of people life and situations we hurt our self time and time again.

Our unreasonable expectations of people life and situations also idicates that we have fully accepted the sernity prayer.

Anger is self destructive destructive to the relationship we have with our self and also destructive to the relationship with other people.

Yet part of this process with anger is the inability to be able to articulate myself in healthy ways.

Also the inability to be able to set healthy boundaries for myself in healthy ways.

Just for today I will nto go back to my addiction today is a aboundary I set for myself.

The perfect resolve is to be emotionally detached from all addictions and obsessions.

All addictions and obsessions leads to decline in our spirtual values non religious and osur ability to interact in healthy ways with other people..

In seeing anger other people do we interlaize their feeling and their vulnerability.

No if we have not adversely affected other people today we are not responsible for htow they feel today.

The wording worthless indicates that we do not value our self.

It is only by our healthy actions and by our healthy words that we change as to how much we value our self and a healthy pride becomes a healthy way of life for us

The wording confusion is a very healthy word to use, lack of direction, lack of focus, lack of sef worth, each day in recovery is about being productive in every avenue of our life, understanding our needs, understanding our wants and understanding our goals, what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

Writing down daily our wants our needs and our goals, helps us not only get focused but to live in a productive ehalthy motivated direction in our daily life.

Our insecurity is fear based, anxiety fear based, stress fear based, panic fear based, and with panic it is a consequence of us not facing our biggest fears one at a time.

Facing our biggest fears is asking our self am I willing to accept fully the very worst that can happen then my fears reduce one at a time.

In feeling angry we are not being healthy or productive.

In feeling angry we are adversely affecting realtionships with our self and other people.

Road rage is our impatience and intolerance.

Our impatience and intolerance indicates that we are hard on our self.

Our impatience and intolerance indicates that we have not fully accepted the sernity prayer non religious of course..

People are scared and confused about their anger, we tend to feel we are losing it.

That we are no dealing with people life and situations in ahealthy way.

We are not raving mad stupid or dumb people we are jsut unhealthy people reacting in unhealthy ways.

In feeling wronged we feel in an injustice and we often say to our self we want justice.

Being unhealthy that was nto so for me, I was not wanting justice I was wanting vengeance not the same thing.

In me wanting vengeance I was wanting other people to be in pain as much as I was in pain.

That was very unhealthy, I was going to cause people to fear me.

Gamble on machines on any kind of gambling I was ecaping from how I felt with in myself.

Only by taking some responsibility for my actions was I going to become more mature and responsibe for my actions.

I dont believe its all my fault, yes our unhealthy reactions to people life and situations indicated to me that my hurt inner child was not healed.

A person once said that the addiction was not my problem I was the problem, my unhealthy reaction indciated there was honesty in that statement I was not ready to face.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Dave of Beckenham.

AKA Dave L

Hi Joydivider

I would say taking responsibility for my actions was confusing, my unhealthy reaction to people life and situations started from a very early age before the addictions and obsessions..

Hi Grate

I think it is important to mix with and associate with HEALTHY goal setting and positive people ,

To carry a pin and if he felt pain or anger he would P***k himself my question how can you heal pain by casuing your self more pain.

It is ehalthy to treat people the way you would want to be treated, yet I would say that people who do not respect them self are unable to respect you.

Part of our recovery is setting boundaries set from a place of peace.

Passive or suppresive agressives find it difficult to set boundaries yet if we do not set boundaries we do reamin being the victim.

It is iomportant to take one day at a time, just live for today only.

To heal our pains is very healthy.

To reach apoint hwere your healed inner chidl can come out to play is very important, to no longer live in any kind of is very healthy.

Some fears we need to recognize and deal with, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of sucess, fear of emotional intimacy, fear of not being perfect, fear of loneliness, fear of unhealthy people, fear of agression and confrontation, fear of being controlled.

Regards Dave of Beckenahm.

AKA Dave L

Hi

Once angry I would often lash out and cause people to fear me.

Do I really want people to live in fear of me.

I use to live in fear of aggression and confrontation.

It took me two years doing Karate to understand that I enjoyed fighting and physical contact.

My fear of aggression and confrontation was due to my parents being so aggressive and confrontational, they were in effect transferring their pains fears and frustrations on to each other. 

I also use to internalize that some how I was responsible for how they felt.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi

I use to be angry most of the time before my recovery and my healing process.

At this time I can remember being  angry once in the last week.

There was expressive anger and there was suppressed anger.

I think and feel that both are as unhealthy.

The anger and rage was a consequence of pains fears and frustrations of my past still adversely affecting my life today.

I have been to 11 counselors and have healed the pains fears and frustrations of my child hood from 7 years of age to my adult hood.

I have been to places where unhealthy things caused fears in me.

One session with a counselor caused pains to come out that affected me for eleven days after.

Yet as you peel back the onion the tears started to flow.

After eleven days I was far sharper than before.

Sadly the trauma of my life adversely affected my ability to learn to understand or retain education.

Hence when I left school I had no qualifications what so ever.

To remove myself feeling like a victim I needed to learn to articulate my feelings and my emotions and be able to speak out for myself from  place of peace.

I am a non religious person yet found that non religious spiritual values were essential to my recovery.

Do I adversely affect myself or other people today.

How can I improve my relationship with myself today.

How can I improve my relationship with all other people today.

When I was angry I was all bent out of shape bitter and twisted in myself.

You will hear people say that some people have negative attitudes.

For me it is people who have been victims and have not healed from their past.

At one meeting there was a person who said that he was glad he was a compulsive gambler.

My fist reaction was this person was completely nuts.

He explained that with out the recovery program he would never have found out how unhealthy he was.

The serenity prayer is not religious to me.

Yet I do understand that the serenity prayer empowers me.

I am not able to change any other person, I can not change their thinking or their mind.

How ever I am able to understand my unhealthy reactions to unhealthy people I have contact with in my life.

My unhealthy reactions indicate that I am not completely healed.

I have drastically reduced my expectations of people life and situations and by doing so I am far less frustrated than any other time in my life.

How much do I want to love myself.

Am I willing to become selfish in my recovery today.

How much time and effort am I willing to put in to my recovery.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Admitting my vulnerability is not a sign of weakness..

Going from rage and angry to being content with myself was a well worth while enlightening trip journey taking very simple baby steps.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham