Feeling let down by my bank

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(@jacmcm)
Posts: 9
Topic starter
 

So I've went on my banking app a few times and put a ban on gambling then went back and reversed it (takes 48 hours) so my bank surly must know I'm a risk? Do they monitor accounts at all? Because if they do they must see that every penny more or less that goes in to my bank goes right back out on a gambling site they must have saw last week my full months Universal credit go in and yet allowed me to deposit over and over again until a few hours later my full months money was gone and my rent money I'm not looking to blame anyone here my addiction is down to me I 100% accept that but I just wish my bank would give me that scare/wake up call and tell me there blocking these transactions or closing my account etc I thought they had a responsibility of care some what to there clients and anyone with a shred of intelligence looking at my bank account would see the activity is a major concern 

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 11:34 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

Sorry that you feel this way. The bank have clearly given you the tool to use but if you keep reversing the block then that’s on you.

If you take 100% responsibility then take complete responsibility. If you wanted to deposit and the bank wouldn’t allow you to then you would get mad at the bank!

Have you done anything else to help yourself? Used Gamstop? Joined GA? Had counselling? Given access of your money over to anyone else?

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Good luck with making certain changes.

Chris.

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 2:16 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1725
 

Hi

Like many people it took me some tme to hand over on all of our finances.

The truth was I could not trust my self with money, money was the fuel for me to escape in my fears.

Being angry and resetful was due to my pains not heald, my fears nto being faced and due to my frsutrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

I did learn that my gambling was a form of self abuse.

The gambling establishment never hurt me, I hurt myself. 

The banking establishment never hurt me, I hurt myself.

As soon as I got that littel clue then I could stop being agree at them.

To understand my emotional triggers was very important.

My emotional triggers were pains I could not heal, fears I could not face, my unreasonable expectations I could not reduce, loneliness due to my fears of intimacy, and feelings of boredom due the fact I felt I did not feel worthwhile or productive in my life.

Being aware of when I was emotional vulnerable and understood my emotional triggers, I would reduce my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I had no control over.

Each step in the recovery program serves a purpose and has an out come.

The one I feared the most was step four yet in time I understood the reason and out come.

I like many did not think that gambling was self destructive, that my unhealthy reactions in life were unhealthy and I was hurting myself.

The sooner I started to abstain the more chance I had of a very healthy life.

Recovery is very simular to mountain climbers the safest way to learn is from people with a healthy expereince.

Today I understood that being a loner was not very healthy for me.

Being in a recovery program improved my odds of becoming a very healthy person.

The addictions and obsessions were very unhealthy habits.

Please take recovery seriously, it is a life saver

By the way I am a non religious person.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

 

 

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 4:41 pm
(@jacmcm)
Posts: 9
Topic starter
 

@gadaveuk hi thanks for the reply I've tried over and over to block myself on Gamstop but just always tells me it can't verify me I've nobody to hand my finances over to I don't know what to do 

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 5:35 pm
(@jacmcm)
Posts: 9
Topic starter
 

@chris-uk I've tried lots of times to block myself on Gamstop just tried again before coming on here but I'm told it can't verify me I got to the part of showing photo ID which I was happy to do but when it asked for which country I live in there was no option for UK or Scotland etc so what do I do?

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 5:37 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

@jacmcm I understand it’s frustrating but not impossible. It took me about 5 times to make it work, something to do with the address being the same as how the Royal Mail see it. I went on the Royal Mail website and found the correct format on there.

However difficult it is though, you must persevere. If you do nothing else then make sure you do that. Why? Because you will have changed something and put a block in place. They have a phone number that you can call too to help you through the process.

I’m sorry for being harsh or direct earlier but this illness will take everything unless you can help yourself.

Hopefully you can do that as a good step and then maybe you could find a GA meeting or give gamcare a call?

If you want any advice through my experience please ask. Like the poem says, “I’ve been in this hole before, I know the way out”.

Chris.

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 5:57 pm
(@adam123)
Posts: 2814
 

Hi jackui,

 

I think u need to take a step back and look at your situation....... step back from gambling for two months (one untill u get paid and another to realise what ur life can be like if ur not spending your hard earned on gambling)....... a new lifestyle.... one you can be proud of.

 

All the best adam xx

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 7:13 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Welcome Jacqui.

When you start a proper recovery you will realise that the whole gambling scam relies on little to no protection for you.

I agree that the banks are failing in their professional responsibility by allowing any gambling transactions. The government are in on the take or it would all be illegal tomorrow.

HOWEVER and it's a big however, you must take responsibility for your actions and face this addiction. We understand that this addiction takes control of you and alters minds.

The truth is that in the heat of the moment you probably wouldn't have wanted the bank stepping in. Gamblers remorse when depressing reality sets in is what all addicted gamblers go through. 

I vented for 10 months on the forum before doing something properly advised about it. I was confused and ill with it as I had been in various degrees for the previous 40 years

Please don't let that be you. Tell someone close in your family if you can and reach out for all the help to get your money protected.

It's a drug addiction more than anything else. You can't do this alone and you should be living on an allowance. If that sounds awkward you have more to learn about this devastatingly powerful addiction

The money has essentially gone.....its not an income scheme or a get it back later scheme. They were not offering you what your mind thought. Its highly addictive and you've seen what it has done to you so please stop now

You can rebuild your life because you will get your self respect and dignity back....Gambling was never the answer to your feelings or what you really seek......not on those odds.....do you understand?

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

This post was modified 2 years ago 2 times by Joydivider
 
Posted : 10th May 2022 7:17 pm
(@littlemix)
Posts: 74
 

Hi this was me .....

I.put the block on then unblocked it even when I rang up and confessed I had a problem..

I was angry at the world and angry at the bank but been very honest I was actually angry at myself.

Angry the fact that I'd gambled that I'd lost my hard earned cash and angry that I couldn't stop.

I suppose I tried to blame everyone apart from myself...

I'm not saying this to offend u or upset u I'm trying to be honest...

I've been there it's he's fault it's the banks fault but in reality it's.my fault because I.knew I had a problem and didn't seek help sooner. 

You can beat this trust me one day at a time long walks and support if u get it in place we can all.do this....

If u ever need to talk I'm here x

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 7:23 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1725
 

Hi

I also was angry at the world

Being angry indicated ains not ehaled, my fears were not fully face, and my frsutrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

How much do I want to be healthy today.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

 
Posted : 10th May 2022 8:46 pm

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