GamCare Logo
92 posts / 0 new
Last post
Posted on:
Wed, 12/10/2016 - 14:46

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi mate , your right about this site , it does give you the kick up the jacksey we all need at times , so often in the last year I've seen people drop away then reappear weeks later to say they gambled again , it's what we all need sometimes to come on here and lay our feelings out there and say " actually I'm having these feelings " , have a chat about it with people who know exactly how we feel and then put it to bed again , it's as  Martin ( Oldham ) alway's say's " It's better to ramble than gamble ".

Your also correct about the machines paying out far more in the early days than they do now , obviously a ploy used to suck everyone in before bleeding them dry , Iv'e finally worked out that even if the payout percentages were higher they'd still have the advantadge the longer I played them , My Eurika moment when I decided enough is enough :)).

Keep ranting my friend as it's always good to talk :))

Life's far better without a Fob't in it :))

Stay safe NB 

Posted on:
Wed, 12/10/2016 - 14:58

LifeBegins

Joined:
2013-03-28

Hi NB, I've seen the adverts you're talking about. I was taken aback by the first one I saw. There's a whole series of them and they all take the same line of laughing at the people who lose their money to them. I was fuming at first, but then I realised she's got a point. We do lose, and they are making a fortune out of us and they are laughing at us. She's telling the truth. Like you, I found that it strengthened my resolve even more.

I know youre' finding it tough right now. Keep pushing through the urges as you have been doing. Dan said something recently about urges which I though was helpful. Not sure what you'll make of it but it, but I'll put it here in case it's of use....

From [email protected] ..."An urge to gamble is an urge to fix a problem. Could be a whole host of things ranging from a traumatic experience to being bored. Urges are nothing more than red flags. A warning sign if you like that something in your life is off kilter. Welcome them. They are trying to tell you something needs your attention (& it isnt your need to bet)."

KOKO. LB x 

Posted on:
Thu, 13/10/2016 - 11:19

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Morning guys thanks for your posts and your support it is really appreciated. To think that total strangers take time out there day to give you words of advice or encouragement is awesome, truly means a lot.Feeling much more positive today got a busy day ahead and going on holiday in three weeks so important I stay on track! Have a great day people :) 

Posted on:
Thu, 13/10/2016 - 14:18

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Nice to see Mr positive's back in the room :)) 

Take care NB and havre a good day ! 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 18/10/2016 - 16:05

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So just thought I'd scribble down a few words whilst I'm on here. The weekend was decent apart from the footy (beat again) but had a few beers with my best mate and hung out with the family for the rest of it. I'm still off work after my ankle surgery and was at the hospital today for a check up,it's healing but not just as quick as they or me would like it. I've been been off work for nearly three months now and as much as the time off has been great even though I haven't been at my most mobile I think when I get the all clear to go back to work it'll improve things as sitting about leads to boredom,temptation and overthinking things. Still gf but I guess my earlier bravado has disappeared and been replaced by a sense of realism. Just have sobering thoughts of the urges coming back in the future and hoping I'll be strong enough to resist them. Still I'm just taking it one day at a time at the moment, I do have plans for further in the future but I'm feeling better just plodding along and should I remain gf and doing what I'm doing then the future will take care of itself :) anyway that's enough nonsense for today I forgot how good it can be to come on here and just let your fingers ramble on. Cheers :)

Posted on:
Thu, 20/10/2016 - 23:25

wants2stop

Joined:
2015-02-03

Thanks for your recent post. Hope Alfie and dad are doing fine. I had another stumble but think I'm ready to get back on the wagon. Hope your recovery is smooth and quick. Both ankle and gambling recoveries :) and yes I'm just rambling too xx

Posted on:
Thu, 27/10/2016 - 09:41

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Hi wants2stop no probs.Sorry to hear of your recent setback but sadly they happen and I've been there all to often however I seem to have a better handle on things for now but still relatively early days even though I'm 50+ days I'm acutely aware how quickly it can disappear so I just keep doing what I'm doing and plodding along. Im sure you'll get there to just try and be positive and not beat yourself up to badly over your relapse. Good luck :) 

Posted on:
Mon, 14/11/2016 - 10:44

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So haven't posted in a while not really sure as to why,I guess I'm just trying to live as normal life as a compulsive gambler can lead. Had a lovely holiday in the sun and was good to get away and recharge the batteries. Now I'm back it's time to get some help regarding my debt etc had been scraping by but with life's little treats happening (car in garage and washing machine breaking) I realised just scraping by isn't good enough. I need more structure to my finances and hopefully this will get going this week. The thing about scraping by is that there's always a voice in my head telling me to play the fobt's as I can win cash and help myself out.Sadly it's taking me A long long time to figure out that ain't true and it only makes things worse. Overall I'm still doing ok and hanging on in there but it's a battle. Been feeling mixed emotions before and after my holiday and as I'm still off work I have to much thinking time on my hands which isn't always good but hey I'm still gf and winning everyday,just got to keep my head up and soldiering on. One day at a time...

Posted on:
Wed, 25/01/2017 - 22:36

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Rightly or wrongly I'm not on here a lot but should maybe check out a few diaries etc overall I've been doing great and I'm now back at work and life is moving on at pace. I've noticed that I'm getting better at dealing with negative things in life and trying not to get worked up about stuff. Cars break down things go wrong etc but you've just got to accept it and move on. I think my problem and many others on here is that when we have a rough day or stuff happens then we head off and have a gamble as we have an "excuse" compulsive gamblers such as myself will use any justification be it family members dying or cars breaking down or a rotten day at work but I always ended up back there feeding the fobts and always had an excuse. I'm glad to say I haven't touched them in ages but I'd be lying if I said I still didn't have the urges but now I know how to limit my chances of ever going back to them. I go a different way home or I don't take extra cash or I even give my mate my money when we're out drinking do I don't pop out the pub to "use the phone" then come sulking back after half an hour and £100 down! I guess what I'm saying is things are decent but I still have a fragile state from time to time but as long as I have the barrriers and my will power in place I hope it's enough to get me through the day. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Wed, 01/02/2017 - 14:49

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Hmmm so what just happened? I succumbed to the lure of roulette and my head is in a spin! I've no idea why i went and gambled as things have been going well. Right now i'm at work contemplating why it happened,how much i lost etc Having fought this battle for a number of years i am now experiencing the familiar self pity and the spinning head trying to work out how to pay my bills etc i cant change what has just happened and i certainly can't through away anymore money chasing losses. Why the heck can't i just be normal????? I hate it! I had went a long time gamble free and for what :(

Posted on:
Wed, 01/02/2017 - 21:30

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi New beginning,

sorry to hear about your lapse, and sorry to hear you are feeling low about it. I appreciate it feels like a real blow. Blips happen, that is part of the process. The key is how you deal with a blip. You are normal, it is just that sometimes we are all not 100% able to stick to our plan. This doesn't mean your work up until now has been for nothing. You have made the effort to come on the Forum and talk about it, that is a good sign. I appreciate it wasn't easy. Maybe it would be a good idea to call the Helpline or the Netline, to speak to an adviser and analyse the situation. So you can learn from what happened, and avoid the same outcome in the future. 

Keep up the good work, and make sure this lapse doesn't turn in to a relapse.

All the best,

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Thu, 02/02/2017 - 01:17

I will save mys...

Joined:
2016-06-15

Hi New

A relapse feels ****** but do not let that take you down !

I wonder if because everything was starting to feel normal and settled your barriers came down ?

Gambling addiction is life long and it is a manipulative addiction sneaking up on us when least expected.

Stay close to your diary. 

Sending some positive  thought your way, you can do this

Posted on:
Thu, 02/02/2017 - 13:01

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Hey thanks for your comments i kind of agree that maybe i thought i was "cured" or i guess i took my eye off the ball. Lesson learned :( As normally happens when i or anyone has had a relapse i have spent the past hours analysing my mistake and why it happened and why i let it happened. I found myself wih extra cash and worryingly my mind drifted back to gambling and as usual the dreaded rouelette and soon my money was spinning out of control as quick as the wheel was spinning. Over the past few months i have came so far so i'm trying to focus on the positives and steps i have made and not beat myself up to much as i'll only use the self pity as an excuse to gamble. Was thinking about a few things as i headed into work and that i have a good job which pays decent money but i have little to show for it. I do not want or intend this to be my legacy,myself and my family deserve so much more! So yeah i slipped up and i hate myself for it but i have a renewed vigour and fire inside that i blooming well deserve more and so does my family! Barriers are in place,triggers identified and lets do this! I have wasted to much money and time in bookies and in a haze than i care to count but i got to over 150 days last time gamble free,i can do this! One day at at time

Posted on:
Sun, 12/02/2017 - 15:00

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So still haven't gambled after my small relapse and my gf time is still very much in its infancy but today I feel like I have been given my life back and now it's the beginning! Had various issues with debt and it's constant increasing in size etc threatening phone calls,emails letters etc etc but now have a repayment scheme in place and I can only see a brighter happier future. The thing about being a compulsive gambler is we rack up debt or spend money we're not supposed to and in my case I was always robbing peter to pay Paul and thinking about getting that problem solving big money win which never came and never would. In reality I was throwing good money after bad and getting myself in deeper but now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. It will take several years to pay off my accrued debt and I'm totally fine with that as I'm working and have a good job. This is the point in my life where I can see a brighter happier future and I intend to embrace it with both hands,one day at a time! 

Posted on:
Sun, 01/07/2018 - 22:35

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So it’s been some time since I’ve been on here and things have been going well.I started gambling again but it was only small amounts and it seemed to be ok but recently the amounts and speed at which I lost money was increasing.Financially I still have my debt repayment scheme in place and I’m chipping away at it but this month I’ll probably have to borrow a couple of quid due to my own stupidity.Simple fact is i can’t gamble again,ever. Doesn’t matter if it’s a raffle ticket or a scratch card it’ll set me off on a dangerous path which ultimately leads to me playing roulette.The feeling when you’ve slipped up is the worst ever, the frantic thoughts trying to work out your months finances,the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach etc it’s horrendous and somewhere I never thought or hoped I’d be again.Got to learn from this and move on,take the lessons and sort it.Its been good to come back on here to read a few things and give myself a bit of advice etc one day at a time x

Posted on:
Sun, 01/07/2018 - 22:55

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Frantic thoughts trying to work out your month’s finance...

The maths I can now compute in my head are unreal! I’ve been there pal. Guess it’s one slight positive for all the huge negatives... I can now add up my whole weekly shop in my head!

Posted on:
Mon, 02/07/2018 - 06:16

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

I guess all along I shouldn’t have been gambling no matter how small it was daft and just asking for trouble,you don’t hear of alcoholics have a small drink.Just feel rubbish and even now the thoughts of going back into the bookies are filling my head to chase my losses.Its a horrible place to be :( just got to stay strong,knuckle down and keep moving. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Mon, 02/07/2018 - 11:09

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Just had to go cap in hand to my sister to help with a few financial obligations I would struggle to make this month and it was horrible. Feel so angry with myself for putting her in that position.She is an incredible person but I know I need to stop this. Gambling affects everyone around us and by slipping up I endanger there love and support.My relapse no matter how big or small can have seismic consequences and I have to remember that.I know why it happened as I had access to funds,the urge and add in alcohol. I’m off work today and have spent the morning playing with my son and it scares me even more to think that I could’ve ruined this. Barriers and blocks in place! What’s done is done just gotta suck it up and move on. It’s only a mistake if I don’t learn from it. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Tue, 03/07/2018 - 19:42

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Can’t believe how close I came to going back to the bookies after only two days gf! Actually drove past my old bookies after work and had every intention of going in if I’m being honest but thankfully I left my bank card in my house.Even though I never gambled I can’t believe how easy I felt like going back.I think because my relapse was only a few days ago my losses are still fresh and my “need” to recoup them. Glad I put my blocks in place but somehow feels like a loss. Going to be a long road ahead. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 22:30

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Decent day at work today followed by massive urges to gamble :( thankfully I didn’t as I came home and the duties of family life took over but I’m still thinking about it as I sit here and type.However I do realise the bigger picture and what’s at stake.We as gamblers can rack up loads of debt in a matter of minutes that can take years to pay off and as daft as I have been in the past I’m making inroads to this and I can’t and won’t mess it up. If your an alcoholic or a drug addict you will consume either and pass out but as a gambler we will spend money till there’s none left then we will beg steal and borrow to get more. I’m a good guy with a beautiful family and amazing friends,I don’t want to be a parasite and leech off them.Its a tough old road and at this very moment it feels like good versus evil and thankfully the right side is winning but just got to keep plodding along and increase my gf days.As a compulsive gambler I want the days to be at 50,100,1000 by now but there not so just got to say thanks that I didn’t gamble today and I don’t intend to gamble tomorrow. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Thu, 05/07/2018 - 19:38

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Urges,urges,urges! Still feel like gambling in the hope of getting some money to give me some breathing space this month but thankfully I haven’t wilted but I’m thinking about any weapons I can use in my armoury to help keep this at bay. I read of people going to the gym etc and may go down that route just think I need a little extra help in getting back on the straight and narrow. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Fri, 06/07/2018 - 17:35

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Good day today,had to put money in the bank and it’s right next to my old regular bookies and didn’t flinch at all.I know it doesn’t seem like much to normal people but to a compulsive gambler like myself this was massive considering my recent relapse.Had a decent day so far now just making dinner and contemplating a little can of beer or a bike ride later? Quite keen to try and start exercising a bit again as I used to feel great after I had played footy or been to the gym however injuries and advancing years mean I haven’t done anything for a while.Im a firm believer that any type of exercise is good for mental health as well so maybe this might help in my fight to keep the urges away and also help with my beer belly lol anyway feeling positive and hoping for a good weekend.One day at a time x

Posted on:
Sat, 07/07/2018 - 07:36

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Early morning start and I’m off out a cycle to try and release some endorphins naturally instead of staring at a spinning wheel then it’s packing picnic stuff and off for a run in the car with the missus and son.You can stick your gambling today! Feel more determined than ever thinking about the time and money wasted on gambling over my 25 years of it! Building up a hatred towards these establishments so let’s hope that helps. Have a great weekend people.One day at a time x 

Posted on:
Sat, 07/07/2018 - 23:21

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Good day today plenty going on with not a thought about gambling really.Even watched some horse racing and the footy although to be fair this was never a problem it only became an issue if I went to put on a coupon or back a horse as this would lead me into a gambling establishment and then it was roulette for me! I have wastedd literally thousands on these machines and it seems mental that any sane person would but that’s life.So work tomorrow for some overtime it all helps pay off my stupid idiotic debts that take hours to rack up up but years to pay off.Anyway it’s all good.Head down bum up get the work done and as well as earning a bit extra it provides a useful and welcome distraction. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Sun, 08/07/2018 - 23:16

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Long day at work today didn’t get home till nearly nine.To busy and tired for gambling :) another day gf one day at a time x

Posted on:
Mon, 09/07/2018 - 23:43

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Another gf day and to be honest it was no probs at all as I was stuck in work most of it plus I don’t really have access to money to gamble with other than a few pounds here and there.Truth be told temptation will rear it’s ugly head at end of month when I get paid again but the worrying aspect for me is the anticipation builds with each passing day and then how do I react or cope when the wages hit my bank. However until then I will just plod along and hopefully add to my gf total and when I do get paid make sure I have all blocks in place and the gamblers triangle has a few sides missing! One day at a time x

Posted on:
Tue, 10/07/2018 - 22:03

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Another day gf :) slow progress but happy.One day st a time x

Posted on:
Wed, 11/07/2018 - 21:05

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Another day gf working a lot at the moment it’s a nice distraction.Feeling a bit down about lack of money etc tonight :( one day at a time x

Posted on:
Thu, 12/07/2018 - 22:09

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Another day gamble free but still feeling a bit down at the moment just thinking about money etc feelings of regret,worry and so on. I would probably say I’m ok when I’m busy but when have some downtime I’m overthinking things a little.Just need to keep busy and not be so hard on myself after my relapse.Its done,I’ve dealt with it and if anything it’s helped me point out a few issues so it’s not all bad. Just gotta keep plodding along as there is light at the end of the tunnel. One day at a time x

Posted on:
Fri, 13/07/2018 - 23:52

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Not much to report apart from another day gf. I’ve been gambling for 26 years now but the fobt’s Took things to a new level. Thankfully my enjoyment of footy horse racing boxing etc etc hasn’t been ruined however I realise not gambling is the option for me as any type leads to the fobt.Doing ok today spirits are lifting.One day at a time x 

Posted on:
Sat, 14/07/2018 - 22:38

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Another day gf :) one day at a time x

Posted on:
Mon, 16/07/2018 - 22:43

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Still gamble free but life is really testing me at the moment :( my partners grandad is at deaths door and just had a rather hefty garage bill.Whenever life throws up s#%t things like this I used to resort to the fobt’s not that I ever needed an excuse but now I have to accept and deal with things and not seek refuge in the bookies.Im getting there slowly and have no desire to add to my problems by losing money I can’t afford to and run the risk of losing my family. Staying strong,staying gamble free one day at a time x

Posted on:
Tue, 17/07/2018 - 19:58

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Another tough day dealing with insurance companies,garages etc felt angry and incredibly stressed but on the plus side gambling never even entered my thoughts today.Have been working extra shifts at work so will be greatful when I get paid for them as it’ll be a big help but like most of us on here I want it now and not in the next few months. Sadly the road to recovery is long and slow but I guess it’s just important to stay on it and not gamble.Its not easy but I’m determined to do this! First target I’ve set is 31 days (a month) then if I can do that 50 and so on.Trying smaller achievable targets.One day at a time x

Posted on:
Thu, 19/07/2018 - 21:52

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Not much to report still gamble free just busy.One day at a time x

Posted on:
Mon, 23/07/2018 - 22:39

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So still gf and feeling pretty positive about the whole thing however I still feel the real challenges lie ahead for me.These being payday next week and because I had a relapse I’ll need to pay back money I borrowed so August will be a very lean month and as us gamblers know we always have ways to earn a quick buck! Sadly this leads to temptation etc however I’ve been doing a bit of overtime at work with the prospect of more so if I can knuckle down and get past another five weeks then things should be much better.Im still taking things one day at a time and haven’t really been thinking about the bookies and fobt’s I guess it’s because my relapse is still fresh in my mind and I’m very busy at the moment.Im not going to proclaim I’m all better now just because I’m feeling positive because that’s easy to do when you’re skint but the trick is to keep it up when you have access to money.Like I’ve said previously I’m trying to take the positives out of things. I know what triggers me, I know how I end up in situations where I leave myself open to it etc and I am fully aware that this is a lifetime problem but it’s one I’m hoping to consign to memory once and for all! One day at a time x

Posted on:
Mon, 23/07/2018 - 22:54

samorgo

Joined:
2013-02-01

Hi NB just read your diary and wanted to say well done on your progress. I too have gambled for many years (15 ish) and in that time have had many relapses. Although the temptation will always be there (thankfully to varying degrees and on the whole weakens with time) there is no doubt that life is better without gambling. Debt looms over many of us so i understand your feelings but we have to remind ourselves regularly that gambling will only make it worse.

I feel like im preaching to the converted so please forgive me but just wanted to say well done and stay strong - you can do this... one day at a time.

Posted on:
Tue, 24/07/2018 - 23:34

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Hey samorgo thanks for stopping by,nice to hear your thoughts and advice.To be honest I think most of us gamblers no life is worse when gambling otherwise we wouldn’t be here.I think I’m better placed to really tackle my issues long term this time.I have been chipping away at my debt with a repayment plan and I am trying to learn the approach to things that if I don’t have the money I can’t get it so don’t gamble thinking I can win the money.I think in today’s life with social media and gizmos and gadgets and cars and houses etc we’re all looking for that illusive big win that’ll change our life but the sad fact is we would all be better off if we hadn’t gambled in the first place! The truth is I’ve had a great life but there’s some things I would change pretty much all due to gambling and mismanagement of money but the trick is to accept this and improve each day forward! This can only be done by not gambling and so far so good! Sorry if I’m rambling a bit,it’s late and I’ve been up for almost 20 hours.Anyway that’s another day down and no gambling.I long for the day where I don’t count the days and just accept that I’m an ex gambler and that’s that! However until that happens I’ll keep counting off the days :) one day at a time x 

Posted on:
Sun, 29/07/2018 - 00:03

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Still gf and still very happy with it. Had a few wee pangs but nothing major and was extremely happy after having a few beers in town the other day I never went near any bookies etc feel as though I’ve finally done my time on those life destructing fobt’s! However I am only to aware of how easy it is for me to go back on them and I have bigger tests to come as it’s payday next week and the footy season starts.Gambling on footy and horses etc was never a problem to me but it led me to the fobt’s under the pretence of putting a coupon on etc I’ve worked dam hard recently and put in a lot of hours at work so I’m determined not to go and lose all my money in a matter of minutes! To be honest I’m feeling a bit nervous about next sat as I’ll be at the footy and the pub and for the past 20+ years roughly that has always involved some sort of gambling but not I realise abstinence is the only way for me and I can’t be putting on a coupon or a horse.Anyway still hanging in there one day at a time x

Posted on:
Tue, 31/07/2018 - 21:24

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So payday today and nearly slipped up however I stayed gf.Feel kind of down as if I had gambled,strange. I set foot in a bookies but quickly left.I know I should be happy I had the sense and will power to leave but feel a bit deflated that I even went near one. Sobering realisation that this is a journey for life.Need to possibly self exclude from a few more bookies or limit my time or access to money or opportunity. Going to bed now but not sure how I’ll sleep as my heads a bit all over the place,but I’m still here and im still fighting and I’m still gf one day at a time x 

Posted on:
Sun, 05/08/2018 - 08:45

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

So a decent weekend and still gf but it’s still not easy,feel like there’s an ongoing internal conflict which thankfully I’m winning at the moment. I hate this damned addiction and everything it does.I hate it for the debt I have,I hate it for the time it has robbed me of,I hate it for the lies I told! I’m 35 days gf and closing in on 50 my next target. I’m ok as I’ve been busy recently but it’s still so dam tough.Got to keep plodding along i can’t ever get that horrible sick feeling after another relapse where you sit wondering what just happened and who you can borrow money off of and how your going to lie to your loved ones again.Apologies for the Sunday morning rambling I’m genuinely happy that I’m still gf but sometimes you just get a little fed up with the situation/debt that your in and wonder how and why you did it I know I do.Anyway I’m still here and still fighting to remain gf one day at a time x

Posted on:
Wed, 15/08/2018 - 18:18

New beginning

Joined:
2015-02-28

Still hanging in there gamble free. Been busy so urges not to bad plus still feeling a sense of anger and the thought of how many hours I work etc and how quickly it all disappears into the fobt’s! My family deserve more,I deserve more! No more fobt’s! Closing in on day 50 :) one day at a time x

Pages

Pages