# | Post Title | Result Info | Date | User | Forum |
Want to DO something? --> READ THIS! | 219 Relevance | 6 years ago | Mixer | Recovery Diaries | |
Want to DO something about your out-of-control gambling? Read on..... *** INTRODUCTION & 2 QUICK HINTS *** You may be reading this post because you've lost too much money (possibly after yet another heartbreaking gambling binge) and/or are in other related trouble, the situation becoming unsustainable. Therefore you might be desperate for help. If so, please keep calm, take stock and considering talking to someone, maybe a trusted friend or loved one. You may also consider Gamcare (0808 8020 133) or the Samaritans (116 123) depending on how you're feeling. Bearing in mind, as we know to our cost, that using our willpower to stop is usually simply not enough, here are two quick hints that suggest practical measures you can consider putting into place right away. Quick Hint No. 1 ---> Do you need to ban yourself from gambling? Here are five positive things you can do straightaway. Why not grasp the nettle right now and exclude yourself from: Online casinos ---> www.gamstop.co.uk n.b. doesn't cover all casinos yet, but it will by Sept 2018 - and IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE! The teething problems with the service are now fixed. Select the *5 year* abstention option. If online casinos are your problem, and there's one thing you do today - do this. NOW! ​ Land-based casinos ---> playingsafe.org.uk - covers ALL casinos in the UK - do it now ​ Bingo Clubs ---> bingo-association.co.uk - covers all bingo halls - just ban yourself and save yourself more misery ​ Bookies ---> self-exclusion.co.uk -- ban yourself from as many bookies in your area, and beyond, as you can ​ Amusement Arcades ---> bacta.org.uk. - easy to do, just register! ​ Quick Hint No.2 ---> Need a near-failsafe way to stop? In addition to excluding yourself from as many gambling operators as possible (see the paragraph above), why not hand over full financial control to a trusted friend or loved one - no "ifs or buts". Without the means, you can't gamble. They'll respect you for it, because it proves your intent. How long for? For life, probably. But what a better life you'll lead! *** AND NOW ... THE BIG WELCOME! *** Hi there. Have you had ENOUGH of this devastating problem gambling habit? Yes? Good. So let’s do something about it, eh 😉 My name is 'Mixer' and I'm a regular here on the Gamcare forums. If you are new here, or even a regular visitor, you might find the following interesting, written through the eyes of a (recovering) compulsive gambler who, like you, is determined to stop gambling. Here I look into why we gamble and what we can do about it - for ourselves primarily, but I also consider the impact on our loved ones - let's never forget about them. Now, I say it as it is. But it's probably what you want (need) to hear and possibly reflects what you're thinking anyway. There's an old saying: "We are where we are". In other words, regardless how we got here, we start again from here, we start again from now. We need to put our regret and self-pity aside for a moment and take some time to think things through and understand why we can't continue like this. This is why you're here, reading this. Firstly, though, here's a video to watch. It's about someone who was hooked into this addiction, like me, like you. I thoroughly recommend you listen to his story ---> Now, there's a fair bit to read. Why not make yourself a 'cuppa' before you start. If you only want to read some bits or now, then simply click on the blue link to jump to the section you're interested in, and click your browser 'back button' to return here. *** Contents *** Before we try to resolve your problem, we need to understand what brought you to this point in the first place. We need to question: why have we been doing it? why is it so difficult to stop? why is it such a problem? and what can we do about it? We then take a deeper look, firstly looking into practical steps you can take, here and now. We also take a look at other impacts of your gambling. All this will help you get into a good 'mindset' for the task ahead as you consider: the 4 key things we can do what happens if we relapse life without gambling – is it too ‘boring’? the impact to our loved ones willpower and why that's not enough dealing with debt signing up to Gamcare and suggestions about what to do next. Let's start by looking at why you might have started. --- Why did you start? --- You were curious – those adverts with big bonus opening offers seemed too good to be true (and you may even have won at first!). Maybe you were playing apps for 'points' and decided playing for cash would be more 'exciting'. Because others were gambling – Mates in the pub, or friends at bingo etc. were gambling – you thought you'd join them Escapism – Seemed like a distraction from any ‘woes’ Chance to make a fortune – This could’ve been an easy way to make money. And maybe you did - at first - before that 'killer' loss. Or some other reason. Something may have happened in your life that ‘triggered’ your first, and subsequent, gambles. It might be symptomatic of an illness. --- Why are you finding it so hard to stop? --- It’s everywhere – as long as you've got money and time, and there’s opportunity, you're just too tempted. You might say, for example, that gambling adverts are on the telly every five minutes - it's all so 'in your face'! Debt – You may need to get out of worsening debt; just one ‘big win’ will clear it. Just One. Big. Win. Escapism – It continues to distract you from your troubles, or boredom or rut (yet gambling is an even worse rut) It’s enjoyable – but you're losing more than you're winning, and, when you actually think about it, it’s actually more tortuous than enjoyable. The losses are far more frequent and catastrophic then the lesser and smaller wins. It’s like a ‘friend’ to me – but you can see it’s not a friend at all. It’s just a w ay of you handing over my money to some soulless gambling operator; this isn't friendship. 'Feel good' chemicals are triggered - that might be true, but you really can start to wean yourself off this, shaking ourselves out of this compulsion you have. Urges, always strong to start with, can subside. I've got an addictive personality - but, oddly enough, you wasn't addicted to anything before you started gambling. (Ok, maybe you smoked, but same principle.) But is this just an easy 'excuse' to continue...? Possibly. --- Why is gambling such a problem? --- It’s because we can’t stop. If we win, we keep going until we lose, and then we keep losing. In other, words, we never win. And to make matters worse, the odds are always against us. That's it, really; it's simply too expensive in money, time, and what it does to us. And, sadly, the longer we carry on the more we chase the inevitable losses that always show their head at some point. Financial discipline goes out of the window, many of us sadly waking up having unintentionally lost a small fortune the day before. And, in our desperation, we might do things we shouldn't do, and get into even more trouble. --- What can we do? --- We have to stop gambling. Now. Right Away. And we can! Here are four things to help 'break the gambling cycle', steps that will vastly improve our chances of being gambling-free. We need to embrace the four "As" - Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude: ACCEPTANCE & AWARENESS - We must admit we are compulsive gamblers; likely for life, such is the baffling nature of our condition. Therefore, a lifetime solution and ongoing commitment is likely necessary. We need to be determined and ready for this new phase – the 'second half' – of our lives. I repeat; this is for life. I do not personally believe there is a cure, but do believe we can successfully manage our condition, so we don't gamble, forever. Some people who gamble can handle it; they don't become addicts. Sadly, some of us get hooked and become problem gamblers. Wouldn't it be great if we could stop whenever we wanted? But ... we can't. It's the way we're 'wired' - we actually get more excitement from the 'near miss' than the win itself - and, sadly, we have to accept this reality. ACTION - We need to seek support from loved ones and professionals. This requires honesty from us, an open admission of our problems. Sometimes we need to be careful about who we open up to, and when, and how. But don't hide the facts, when you do; be straight, and don't twist the truth or hide facts. Otherwise, you're just conning yourself, as well as deceiving others. Professional support includes: reading books from experts; here are a few well worth a try: Stopping Gambling by Allen Carr Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions by Russell Brand No Big Deal by John Coates phoning Gamcare on 0808 8020 133 accessing Gamcare webchat Counselling; very worthwhile: it might even draw out reasons that caused us to gamble in the first place. It's highly recommended and Gamcare offers it FREE - just give them a call to find out more. joining Gamblers Anonymous - it's a long time established, well organised and highly recommended. You'll meet others just like you in a vibrant, supportive atmosphere - you're never alone! Don't forget your doctor. Hey, you might need help in this way; you might be depressed, or ill, and need some help. Never be afraid to talk things through, Ok? ACTION - We need to put restrictions in place to make sure that we cannot gamble even if we wanted to. This is important, because, as compulsive gamblers, we can be very sneaky indeed. This includes, for example, handing over financial control to a trusted friend or loved ones, putting self-exclusions in place so you can't gamble online or in gambling establishments like bookies, arcades and casinos. It's good to keep busy, keeping fit, eating well and enjoying life, and the company of others. And there's an excellent friendly community right here in the Gamcare forums. ATTITUDE - To stop gambling, one day at a time. Let's not expect miracles; let's keep it real. If we stop one day at a time, that's realistic and manageable. Every morning, say to yourself, and mean, and stick to: "Just for today, I will not gamble". Now, life will throw stuff at you, as life does, but whatever it is can be handled much, much better without gambling in the way. Stick to this one simple rule and you can manage this condition, along with good support and sound strategies to help you restrict the possibilities of you gambling, for ever. But always one day at a time. --- Relapsing --- We really mustn't gamble ever again, because starting up again can easily get us into as much trouble as before. Relapsing can be extremely damaging. In fact, getting 'addicted' to the self-loathing, self-pity of relapsing, often linked to underlying lifestyle issues, is a vicious cycle we must snap out of. However, if you do relapse, the most important thing to do is get 'back in the saddle' as soon as possible, going gambling-free, always one day at a time. Please also bear in mind the following: We are human. We may well relapse on this lifetime journey of going gambling-free. (I have, to my deepest regret, sadness and personal detriment relapsed several times.) Only ‘beat yourself up’ if you are going to give up’ trying to go gambling-free, or are not prepared to learn from, and do something about, the experience. ("Being human" is not an excuse to gamble again by the way - it's what we learn from it and our attitude to how we respond that counts.) True character is shown from those who, when they fall down, get up again, stronger. If you relapse, be honest about it, think about why it happened and think what you can learn for ‘next time’; what can make a future relapse less likely? What did you 'miss' this time? How can you block it next time? Remember - compulsive gamblers like us can be very sneaky and devious; the 'non-gambling' side of your brain must outwit the 'gambling' side. Share your reasoning with loved ones and trusted friends; be open and honest; don't hide. Keep trying. Don't give up. Remember, we won't relapse if we stick to one important rule: every morning, say to yourself, and stick to, this: "Just for today, I won't place a bet". Sounds simple; but that'll do the job. --- Is Life boring without gambling? --- Gambling is a very lonely habit actually, even in a social setting. Look how solitary most people are in a bookies, bingo, pub or casino, for example. And losing the money is just part of it. Some people think life outside gambling is boring, but that's partly because we close the curtains to other things when we gamble, we fail to see fantastic other options life has to offer. Is life really about that Saturday afternoon football bet fix? Is it a must that the fruit machine is pumped with all your money every time you have a pint? Does a quiet spell at home really mean that we have to spend all our cash on a some soulless online cartoon gambling game (bingo and slots)? The answer to all three questions is "no" by the way - we just can't see it right now, that's how 'fogged' our minds have become. To illustrate, let's look at each of the above sample scenarios in turn. Football betting - Step back for a moment. Consider this. When you put a bet on, consider whether are you actually enjoying the game anymore. What it's really about. Which should be the teams, the tactics, the atmosphere, the skill, the excitement and more. Yet, when you're gambling, it becomes 'cold'; about the stark result, the number of goals, dependences on other games, the number of corners etc. The enjoyment for the 'beautiful game' has gone; instead, it's about numbers and a 'sterile' scoreline. Why not enjoy the game again - it doesn't need a bet, actually. And what's the point in betting on the game(s) anyway? If you do win, you eventually lose and then lose some more. What's the point? Why not knock gambling on the head and fall in love with the game again, like you used to? Fruit machines - These soulless boxes are everywhere, in pubs, bingo and bookies (FOBTs), all drawing you in with their flashing lights. The thing is, you can win on them, but only if you know what you're doing and only a select few professional punters do; even in bookies.They just need mug punters to fill them up for them. If you're not a professional, then, the fact is, the mug punter is you. Enjoy your pint or glass of wine by all means - maybe in the company of others - and let someone else be that mug punter - not you. Remember - all slots, including FOBTs, are not truly random. They can be, and are, manipulated. Leave them alone. ​ Online slots - they're everwhere, but think for a moment what you are doing. You're sitting down playing 'cartoon games' and wasting your hard-earned money without leaving your sofa; isn't that a crying shame? Remember, you never win because you always give it back. Instead, think about the power of the internet and the wealth of things you could be doing instead. Use social media, watch videos (not gambling ones, they're all a con and trying to hook you in), films, box sets .. you can discover so much and it's all free or nearly free. And if you turn the computer off, more possibilities! Think back. What did you do before you gambled, when you had cash spare? By the way, you can block all your PCs, mobiles, tablets and other devices with software found here. And consider this. Gambling sessions can be very expensive and remarkably short in duration. Let's say you've just spent your monthly salary in a day. What would you rather be for the rest of the month - bored and skint, or bored with cash in your pocket, and lots of lovely options? Remember, a whole long, drawn-out month being skint really isn't much fun at all. Just think about what you, and your loved ones, could be doing. Keeping fit, eating better, going out, there's so much more! So, as gambling 'sessions' tend to be quite short, is there really that great a void to fill...? --- Our loved ones --- Let's not forget about our loved ones who get caught up with all this. Our gambling affects them, too, and they don't like it much (to put it mildly). They want to see us back to our 'normal selves', back to the vibrant people we really are. Not the frankly unpleasant and neurotic characters we have become, all wrapped up with gambling, and the lies/self-loathing/selfish attitudes that come with it. We're wasting money that could have benefitted your loved ones, too. We're very good at punishing ourselves. Why punish them too? We often don't fully consider how devestating gambling can be for our partners, family and friends, because we become so 'wrapped up' with ourselves we become desensitised and numb to it all. Enough! Take a look at some of the diaries here to see the view from their perspective; it's sobering at best, absolutely heartbreaking at worst. Let's not hide from the impacts of what we've been doing. --- Willpower and Gambing Operators --- It seems odd, but quite often willpower isn't enough on its own, because it can be misused to sneakily start up again! That's why we also need to seek support and put in place solid blocks to help us. If nothing changes, nothing changes. How about gambling operators? We can blame them all we want; the truth is they're going nowhere. The truth is we have to take personal responsibility. --- Handling the losses and dealing with debt --- Sometimes, we find it very hard to get over the fact we've lost so much money. That's an understandable reaction; you may have lost substantial sums and possibly be in severe debt. The only way to move on is firstly to accept that chasing your losses, trying to recoup the losses, is the worst thing to do. You'll just get into worse trouble because, remember, we can't stop. If we do happen to win it all back, and this is unlikely, we will still gamble and lose it all over again, and then more. That's just the way it is and we have to accept this brutal truth. If we can't accept the money has gone forever, it will eat away at us and we can't move on. It's time to stop beating ourselves up and time to start to repair the damage. If you have debts but are having problems managing them, then take a look at this page from MoneySavingExpert - a bit of planning prioritising and 'juggling' your obligations could save you significant interest charges. If you are in serious debt, then seriously consider getting in touch with Stepchange, a debt specialist charity. Stepchange roll up all of your debts into manageable repayments and stop further interest. They will set everything up. Yes, it will affect your credit rating but in time you can improve this by paying off the debts. You'll have peace of mind knowing creditors will stop 'banging on the door'; and your debts will be cleared in a few short years. It'll be worth it but require discipline and a true resolve to stop gambling. But you know this. --- And finally --- Let's really 'give our all' to stop this. Hey - it's not easy, but we can do it. We have a choice; to live life as it should be lived, or untold misery. Let's choose life! Where next? Here's a good place to start; a page of key information from Gamcare. And do seriously consider joining the Gamcare Forums! You'll meet lots of friendly people who have been impacted by this devastating condition. Recovering addicts, those trying to stop, loved ones who have been affected, success stories, suggestions and much, much more. It's a lively community and it may really, really help you. So: Why not sign up, it's all completly anonymous. Then say 'hello!'; just create a new topic. You'll be given a warm welcome and tons of good advice and support from fellow recovering gamblers like you. Consider setting up a diary; many of us find these very useful; they're very popular. Fancy a challenge? Want to spend 2018 gambling-free? Then this is worth a look; the '2018 Challenge' thread (run by Neil C.) < /p> Thank you for reading this. You got this far - it shows you're serious, it's shows intent. Why not give Gamcare a call? 0808 8020 133 is the number and there will be a friendly voice on the other end. You're also welcome to post a comment or ask a question anytime on this thread. May I wish you all the very best. Let's do something about this - You can do it! With my very best wishes, Mixer (one of many recovering gamblers who have joined Gamcare happy to help our fellow Gamcare buddies as they strive to go gambling free, too!) | |||||
Want to DO Something? --> READ THIS! | 219 Relevance | 6 years ago | Mixer | New Members Intros Forum | |
Want to DO something about your out-of-control gambling? Read on..... *** INTRODUCTION & 2 QUICK HINTS *** You may be reading this post because you've lost too much money (possibly after yet another heartbreaking gambling binge) and/or are in other related trouble, the situation becoming unsustainable. Therefore you might be desperate for help. If so, please keep calm, take stock and considering talking to someone, maybe a trusted friend or loved one. You may also consider Gamcare (0808 8020 133) or the Samaritans (116 123) depending on how you're feeling. Bearing in mind, as we know to our cost, that using our willpower to stop is usually simply not enough, here are two quick hints that suggest practical measures you can consider putting into place right away. Quick Hint No. 1 ---> Do you need to ban yourself from gambling? Here are five positive things you can do straightaway. Why not grasp the nettle right now and exclude yourself from: Online casinos ---> www.gamstop.co.uk n.b. doesn't cover all casinos yet, but it will by Sept 2018 - and IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE! The teething problems with the service are now fixed. Select the *5 year* abstention option. If online casinos are your problem, and there's one thing you do today - do this. NOW! ​ Land-based casinos ---> playingsafe.org.uk - covers ALL casinos in the UK - do it now ​ Bingo Clubs ---> bingo-association.co.uk - covers all bingo halls - just ban yourself and save yourself more misery ​ Bookies ---> self-exclusion.co.uk -- ban yourself from as many bookies in your area, and beyond, as you can ​ Amusement Arcades ---> bacta.org.uk. - easy to do, just register! ​ Quick Hint No.2 ---> Need a near-failsafe way to stop? In addition to excluding yourself from as many gambling operators as possible (see the paragraph above), why not hand over full financial control to a trusted friend or loved one - no "ifs or buts". Without the means, you can't gamble. They'll respect you for it, because it proves your intent. How long for? For life, probably. But what a better life you'll lead! *** AND NOW ... THE BIG WELCOME! *** Hi there. Have you had ENOUGH of this devastating problem gambling habit? Yes? Good. So let’s do something about it, eh 😉 My name is 'Mixer' and I'm a regular here on the Gamcare forums. If you are new here, or even a regular visitor, you might find the following interesting, written through the eyes of a (recovering) compulsive gambler who, like you, is determined to stop gambling. Here I look into why we gamble and what we can do about it - for ourselves primarily, but I also consider the impact on our loved ones - let's never forget about them. Now, I say it as it is. But it's probably what you want (need) to hear and possibly reflects what you're thinking anyway. There's an old saying: "We are where we are". In other words, regardless how we got here, we start again from here, we start again from now. We need to put our regret and self-pity aside for a moment and take some time to think things through and understand why we can't continue like this. This is why you're here, reading this. Firstly, though, here's a video to watch. It's about someone who was hooked into this addiction, like me, like you. I thoroughly recommend you listen to his story ---> Now, there's a fair bit to read. Why not make yourself a 'cuppa' before you start. If you only want to read some bits or now, then simply click on the blue link to jump to the section you're interested in, and click your browser 'back button' to return here. *** Contents *** Before we try to resolve your problem, we need to understand what brought you to this point in the first place. We need to question: why have we been doing it? why is it so difficult to stop? why is it such a problem? and what can we do about it? We then take a deeper look, firstly looking into practical steps you can take, here and now. We also take a look at other impacts of your gambling. All this will help you get into a good 'mindset' for the task ahead as you consider: the 4 key things we can do what happens if we relapse life without gambling – is it too ‘boring’? the impact to our loved ones willpower and why that's not enough dealing with debt signing up to Gamcare and suggestions about what to do next. Let's start by looking at why you might have started. --- Why did you start? --- You were curious – those adverts with big bonus opening offers seemed too good to be true (and you may even have won at first!). Maybe you were playing apps for 'points' and decided playing for cash would be more 39;exciting'. Because others were gambling – Mates in the pub, or friends at bingo etc. were gambling – you thought you'd join them Escapism – Seemed like a distraction from any ‘woes’ Chance to make a fortune – This could’ve been an easy way to make money. And maybe you did - at first - before that 'killer' loss. Or some other reason. Something may have happened in your life that ‘triggered’ your first, and subsequent, gambles. It might be symptomatic of an illness. --- Why are you finding it so hard to stop? --- It’s everywhere – as long as you've got money and time, and there’s opportunity, you're just too tempted. You might say, for example, that gambling adverts are on the telly every five minutes - it's all so 'in your face'! Debt – You may need to get out of worsening debt; just one ‘big win’ will clear it. Just One. Big. Win. Escapism – It continues to distract you from your troubles, or boredom or rut (yet gambling is an even worse rut) It’s enjoyable – but you're losing more than you're winning, and, when you actually think about it, it’s actually more tortuous than enjoyable. The losses are far more frequent and catastrophic then the lesser and smaller wins. It’s like a ‘friend’ to me – but you can see it’s not a friend at all. It’s just a way of you handing over my money to some soulless gambling operator; this isn't friendship. 'Feel good' chemicals are triggered - that might be true, but you really can start to wean yourself off this, shaking ourselves out of this compulsion you have. Urges, always strong to start with, can subside. I've got an addictive personality - but, oddly enough, you wasn't addicted to anything before you started gambling. (Ok, maybe you smoked, but same principle.) But is this just an easy 'excuse' to continue...? Possibly. --- Why is gambling such a problem? --- It’s because we can’t stop. If we win, we keep going until we lose, and then we keep losing. In other, words, we never win. And to make matters worse, the odds are always against us. That's it, really; it's simply too expensive in money, time, and what it does to us. And, sadly, the longer we carry on the more we chase the inevitable losses that always show their head at some point. Financial discipline goes out of the window, many of us sadly waking up having unintentionally lost a small fortune the day before. And, in our desperation, we might do things we shouldn't do, and get into even more trouble. --- What can we do? --- We have to stop gambling. Now. Right Away. And we can! Here are four things to help 'break the gambling cycle', steps that will vastly improve our chances of being gambling-free. We need to embrace the four "As" - Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude: ACCEPTANCE & AWARENESS - We must admit we are compulsive gamblers; likely for life, such is the baffling nature of our condition. Therefore, a lifetime solution and ongoing commitment is likely necessary. We need to be determined and ready for this new phase – the 'second half' – of our lives. I repeat; this is for life. I do not personally believe there is a cure, but do believe we can successfully manage our condition, so we don't gamble, forever. Some people who gamble can handle it; they don't become addicts. Sadly, some of us get hooked and become problem gamblers. Wouldn't it be great if we could stop whenever we wanted? But ... we can't. It's the way we're 'wired' - we actually get more excitement from the 'near miss' than the win itself - and, sadly, we have to accept this reality. ACTION - We need to seek support from loved ones and professionals. This requires honesty from us, an open admission of our problems. Sometimes we need to be careful about who we open up to, and when, and how. But don't hide the facts, when you do; be straight, and don't twist the truth or hide facts. Otherwise, you're just conning yourself, as well as deceiving others. Professional support includes: reading books from experts; here are a few well worth a try: Stopping Gambling by Allen Carr Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions by Russell Brand No Big Deal by John Coates phoning Gamcare on 0808 8020 133 accessing Gamcare webchat Counselling; very worthwhile: it might even draw out reasons that caused us to gamble in the first place. It's highly recommended and Gamcare offers it FREE - just give them a call to find out more. joining Gamblers Anonymous - it's a long time established, well organised and highly recommended. You'll meet others just like you in a vibrant, supportive atmosphere - you're never alone! Don't forget your doctor. Hey, you might need help in this way; you might be depressed, or ill, and need some help. Never be afraid to talk things through, Ok? ACTION - We need to put restrictions in place to make sure that we cannot gamble even if we wanted to. This is important, because, as compulsive gamblers, we can be very sneaky indeed. This includes, for example, handing over financial control to a trusted friend or loved ones, putting self-exclusions in place so you can't gamble online or in gambling establishments like bookies, arcades and casinos. It's good to keep busy, keeping fi t, eating well and enjoying life, and the company of others. And there's an excellent friendly community right here in the Gamcare forums. ATTITUDE - To stop gambling, one day at a time. Let's not expect miracles; let's keep it real. If we stop one day at a time, that's realistic and manageable. Every morning, say to yourself, and mean, and stick to: "Just for today, I will not gamble". Now, life will throw stuff at you, as life does, but whatever it is can be handled much, much better without gambling in the way. Stick to this one simple rule and you can manage this condition, along with good support and sound strategies to help you restrict the possibilities of you gambling, for ever. But always one day at a time. --- Relapsing --- We really mustn't gamble ever again, because starting up again can easily get us into as much trouble as before. Relapsing can be extremely damaging. In fact, getting 'addicted' to the self-loathing, self-pity of relapsing, often linked to underlying lifestyle issues, is a vicious cycle we must snap out of. However, if you do relapse, the most important thing to do is get 'back in the saddle' as soon as possible, going gambling-free, always one day at a time. Please also bear in mind the following: We are human. We may well relapse on this lifetime journey of going gambling-free. (I have, to my deepest regret, sadness and personal detriment relapsed several times.) Only ‘beat yourself up’ if you are going to give up’ trying to go gambling-free, or are not prepared to learn from, and do something about, the experience. ("Being human" is not an excuse to gamble again by the way - it's what we learn from it and our attitude to how we respond that counts.) True character is shown from those who, when they fall down, get up again, stronger. If you relapse, be honest about it, think about why it happened and think what you can learn for ‘next time’; what can make a future relapse less likely? What did you 'miss' this time? How can you block it next time? Remember - compulsive gamblers like us can be very sneaky and devious; the 'non-gambling' side of your brain must outwit the 'gambling' side. Share your reasoning with loved ones and trusted friends; be open and honest; don't hide. Keep trying. Don't give up. Remember, we won't relapse if we stick to one important rule: every morning, say to yourself, and stick to, this: "Just for today, I won't place a bet". Sounds simple; but that'll do the job. --- Is Life boring without gambling? --- Gambling is a very lonely habit actually, even in a social setting. Look how solitary most people are in a bookies, bingo, pub or casino, for example. And losing the money is just part of it. Some people think life outside gambling is boring, but that's partly because we close the curtains to other things when we gamble, we fail to see fantastic other options life has to offer. Is life really about that Saturday afternoon football bet fix? Is it a must that the fruit machine is pumped with all your money every time you have a pint? Does a quiet spell at home really mean that we have to spend all our cash on a some soulless online cartoon gambling game (bingo and slots)? The answer to all three questions is "no" by the way - we just can't see it right now, that's how 'fogged' our minds have become. To illustrate, let's look at each of the above sample scenarios in turn. Football betting - Step back for a moment. Consider this. When you put a bet on, consider whether are you actually enjoying the game anymore. What it's really about. Which should be the teams, the tactics, the atmosphere, the skill, the excitement and more. Yet, when you're gambling, it becomes 'cold'; about the stark result, the number of goals, dependences on other games, the number of corners etc. The enjoyment for the 'beautiful game' has gone; instead, it's about numbers and a 'sterile' scoreline. Why not enjoy the game again - it doesn't need a bet, actually. And what's the point in betting on the game(s) anyway? If you do win, you eventually lose and then lose some more. What's the point? Why not knock gambling on the head and fall in love with the game again, like you used to? Fruit machines - These soulless boxes are everywhere, in pubs, bingo and bookies (FOBTs), all drawing you in with their flashing lights. The thing is, you can win on them, but only if you know what you're doing and only a select few professional punters do; even in bookies.They just need mug punters to fill them up for them. If you're not a professional, then, the fact is, the mug punter is you. Enjoy your pint or glass of wine by all means - maybe in the company of others - and let someone else be that mug punter - not you. Remember - all slots, including FOBTs, are not truly random. They can be, and are, manipulated. Leave them alone. ​ Online slots - they're everwhere, but think for a moment what you are doing. You're sitting down playing 'cartoon games' and wasting your hard-earned money without leaving your sofa; isn't that a crying shame? Remember, you never win because you always give it back. Instead, think about the power of the internet and the wealth of things you could be doing instead. Use social media, watch videos (not gambling ones, they're all a con and trying to hook you in), films, box sets .. you can discover so much and it's all free or nearly free. And if you turn the computer off, more possibilities! Think back. What did you do before you gambled, when you had cash spare? By the way, you can block all your PCs, mobiles, tablets and other devices with software found here. And consider this. Gambling sessions can be very expensive and remarkably short in duration. Let's say you've just spent your monthly salary in a day. What would you rather be for the rest of the month - bored and skint, or bored with cash in your pocket, and lots of lovely options? Remember, a whole long, drawn-out month being skint really isn't much fun at all. Just think about what you, and your loved ones, could be doing. Keeping fit, eating better, going out, there's so much more! So, as gambling 'sessions' tend to be quite short, is there really that great a void to fill...? --- Our loved ones --- Let's not forget about our loved ones who get caught up with all this. Our gambling affects them, too, and they don't like it much (to put it mildly). They want to see us back to our 'normal selves', back to the vibrant people we really are. Not the frankly unpleasant and neurotic characters we have become, all wrapped up with gambling, and the lies/self-loathing/selfish attitudes that come with it. We're wasting money that could have benefitted your loved ones, too. We're very good at punishing ourselves. Why punish them too? We often don't fully consider how devestating gambling can be for our partners, family and friends, because we become so 'wrapped up' with ourselves we become desensitised and numb to it all. Enough! Take a look at some of the diaries here to see the view from their perspective; it's sobering at best, absolutely heartbreaking at worst. Let's not hide from the impacts of what we've been doing. --- Willpower and Gambing Operators --- It seems odd, but quite often willpower isn't enough on its own, because it can be misused to sneakily start up again! That's why we also need to seek support and put in place solid blocks to help us. If nothing changes, nothing changes. How about gambling operators? We can blame them all we want; the truth is they're going nowhere. The truth is we have to take personal responsibility. --- Handling the losses and dealing with debt --- Sometimes, we find it very hard to get over the fact we've lost so much money. That's an understandable reaction; you may have lost substantial sums and possibly be in severe debt. The only way to move on is firstly to accept that chasing your losses, trying to recoup the losses, is the worst thing to do. You'll just get into worse trouble because, remember, we can't stop. If we do happen to win it all back, and this is unlikely, we will still gamble and lose it all over again, and then more. That's just the way it is and we have to accept this brutal truth. If we can't accept the money has gone forever, it will eat away at us and we can't move on. It's time to stop beating ourselves up and time to start to repair the damage. If you have debts but are having problems managing them, then take a look at this page from MoneySavingExpert - a bit of planning prioritising and 'juggling' your obligations could save you significant interest charges. If you are in serious debt, then seriously consider getting in touch with Stepchange, a debt specialist charity. Stepchange roll up all of your debts into manageable repayments and stop further interest. They will set everything up. Yes, it will affect your credit rating but in time you can improve this by paying off the debts. You'll have peace of mind knowing creditors will stop 'banging on the door'; and your debts will be cleared in a few short years. It'll be worth it but require discipline and a true resolve to stop gambling. But you know this. --- And finally --- Let's really 'give our all' to stop this. Hey - it's not easy, but we can do it. We have a choice; to live life as it should be lived, or untold misery. Let's choose life! Where next? Here's a good place to start; a page of key information from Gamcare. And do seriously consider joining the Gamcare Forums! You'll meet lots of friendly people who have been impacted by this devastating condition. Recovering addicts, those trying to stop, loved ones who have been affected, success stories, suggestions and much, much more. It's a lively community and it may really, really help you. So: Why not sign up, it's all completly anonymous. Then say 'hello!'; just create a new topic. You'll be given a warm welcome and tons of good advice and support from fellow recovering gamblers like you. Consider setting up a diary; many of us find these very useful; they're very popular. Fancy a challenge? Want to spend 2018 gambling-free? Then this is worth a look; the '2018 Challenge' thread (run by Neil C.) Thank you for reading this. You got this far - it shows you're serious, it's shows intent. Why not give Gamcare a call? 0808 8020 133 is the number and there will be a friendly voice on the other end. You're also welcome to post a comment or ask a question anytime on this thread. May I wish you all the very best. Let's do something about this - You can do it! With my very best wishes, Mixer (one of many recovering gamblers who have joined Gamcare happy to help our fellow Gamcare buddies as they strive to go gambling free, too!) | |||||
RE: Want to DO Something? --> READ THIS! | 208 Relevance | 12 months ago | Arum | New Members Intros Forum | |
... | 118 Relevance | 11 years ago | SB28 | Recovery Diaries | |
Joined GC & became part of the family in 2013.... The only thing you have to do to help with your life & recovery...is - Let go! For my friend Rachel.. For my friend Joan..... For dear friend SA.... To my friend Ryan.......apols...seems to come too close to the truth :-P.... For dear friend Stephen.... My lovely friend Carla....miss you... Lovely Soulie of course ☺.... To Sesuo..... Dear friend Freda.... S..(Blondie ☺) .... Dear Castle....you turned your life around & this vid comes close to transformation you have reached (not phys8cal matter but the clue is in never giving up..plus this song was my fav when I joined GC..so many memories..! Im very proud of you& your family!..... For some reason deep connection with this song (maybe more the vid) resonates with V (Paul)..proud of you! ... Lil miss wild child of course ☺.... & GamCare....our angels..... Sandra1/ SJ/ Pasimetus/ S_J_B/ SB28......S&B xxx | |||||
RE: First Day Of The Rest Of My Life | 86 Relevance | 4 years ago | Forum admin | New Members Intros Forum | |
Dear @stacer50, Thank you for your recent post and for taking the first steps towards becoming gamble free, I'm very proud of you. This is a place where you can keep coming for support from your peers and to share your journey in to recovery with us all. Things sounds difficult for you from the negative impact of problem gambling, well done for reaching out and for adding Gamban to your phone. It's fantastic to hear you've self excluded with Gamstop too. You've already made amazing progress. I'm concerned about the affect this has taken on you, your health and marriage. It may be beneficial to make an appointment with your GP so they can support you further and discuss options available to help you. There are also mental health websites with helplines that you can contact for support on the below links:- Do you have any other support network around you that you trust and would feel able to reach out to? It may help to release the burden of keeping it a secret by making people aware how you're feeling and why. There's no pressure though, this is your choice and it has to be what feels right for you. You can also access our chatroom's that open twice a day at 1pm until 2pm and then again at 8pm until 9pm with an extended closing time of 21:30pm on a Sunday. Please know that you're never alone with this, I can see you're going through a very difficult time. You don't have to go through it alone, we're here with you and we believe in you and your ability to change your future. If you need any advice or help with financial matters including covering essential living costs or debt then please contact one of the below organisations to discuss things further. - Advice with financial matters, any options available for help with essential living costs, debt and legal if needed. You can also self exclude from Bingo Halls, betting shops and arcades if you find yourself accessing these or having urges to go there by contacting the below organisations. If you would like to talk to us or if you feel a free referral for counselling would help you then please either call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) via our Gamcare website. We're open day and night so we're always here for you and anyone else affected by problem gambling including your partner if they feel they would like support too. Sending you all the best, please be kind to yourself and remember that you can do this! Kindest Regards Joanne Forum Admin | |||||
RE: I need to stop, please can someone help me! | 75 Relevance | 1 year ago | ChatModerator | Overcoming Gambling Harms | |
Hi ManOnAMission Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out for support. It sounds like this is a big step for you and really positive that you are acknowledging that you need support with your gambling. It sounds like you are struggling with debt issues too currently and you can find support for this at they give free financial and debt advice. They have information on what to do if you need help with money, essentials, bills and rent at . You can find a local food bank with the Trussell Trust: and and are food sharing apps you may find helpful. If you have any concerns due to loss of housing, you can find support at If you contact us we can advise you regarding blocking your access to gambling opportunities, protecting your finances and can potentially refer you for one to one support. I would encourage you to contact us in the following ways via the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat available from the website both of which are open seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where one of our advisers will be able to talk, for as long as you need, and look at all the support available to you. As well as the forum, you can also connect with other people with problem gambling issues on via our chatroom at I wish you all the best going forward Take care Jane Forum Admin | |||||
RE: Just blew my last 1500 I had in credit | 71 Relevance | 4 years ago | Forum admin | Overcoming Gambling Harms | |
Dear @sardo122, I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you and I am concerned that you are thinking of taking your own life as an option to clear the debt from gambling. Please know there is always another solution to your problems and the way you're feeling. As bleak as things may feel at the moment, you can get through this and we are here to help you every step of the way. We can support you with the problem gambling, we can talk about coping strategies and make a free referral for some extra support via counselling sessions if you contact us. We would urge you to make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible so they can support you with your mental health, your thoughts and feelings around suicide and your medication. If you can't get an urgent appointment then please call the NHS 111 for medical advice, they also have the ability to make out of hours appointments at a local GP. There are also helplines that you can call for support with your mental health, there is so much help available for you. Please don't be alone with this. If you need medical assistance straight away, you can call 999 or visit your local A&E hospital. There are also other organisations that can help you work through your debt and financial matters. https:/ www.stepchange.org/ Please call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) via our GamCare website so that we can discuss things together and work on a plan to get you all the support and help you need. We're open day and night so you can always reach us, alternatively you can email your details to our forum inbox to arrange a call back [email protected] Although overcoming problem gambling is a challenge, it is achievable. You have the power to change everything and to create a gamble and debt free future for yourself. Please let us help you do this. Kindest Regards Joanne Forum Admin | |||||
Allain | 67 Relevance | 7 years ago | cardhue | Debates and Discussions | |
Allain I have refrained to clarifying every point or arguing the toss over every point. This is party because I feel I have expressed myself pretty clearly, and partly because your appetite for definition/nit picking of every point appears insatiable. And because the more I respond to your quibbles, the further we get away from my VERY SIMPLE point. However, unfortunately mud can stick. If I you keep chucking it, making out I'm ducking your questions, then just this once, I shall go through your post in turn. Know that there are huge flaws in your previous posts which I let go. After that it's lights out for me. Louis When did i say you are trying to stop me having a debate? Fair point - mix up with another poster. This one's yours. You are not clarifying much that is part of the problem. My objectivity problem, your 987,987 figures to name just 2 unclarified things. The 987,987 figure was not a real figure. I was making the point that there will be an exact figure for how sucessful controlled gambling is. In the same way that (through controlled trials) people can say that smoking increases lung cancer by 90% (or whatever). I'm not surprised you took my figures literally. I'm saying that there is an answer to the question of how sucessful controlled is versus abstention. It actually is measurable given the correct resources. But obviously I can't tell you what that figure is. I'm guessing high 95%+ failure for controlled. But it's a guess. I raised your objectivity issue - as your position is tainted by the fact you still gamble and actively adcocate reacreational gambling. This is my opinion. Urrrggghhh really, i really have to field this next one, it is not an opinion it is an observation, really? An observation when based on something one has seen or witnessed is synonymous with opinion, fact however is not synonymous. Also you didn't say controlled addiction never APPEARS to work (good of you to try and slip APPEARS in) you said UNEQUIVOCALLY controlled gambling doesn't work EVER and how remarkable it is in its absolute effectiveness. That is a bit different to what you just tried to back track to there. Oh dear. You've really wasted a lot of time here Allain. So now you appear to accept that an observation is not an opinion (progress). Your new position is that an opinion is a synonym of an observation. Lets put this one to bed and refer to the dictionary. I'm using Google - no doubt you'll question that and say it's Oxford Dictionary or nothing. This is a copy and paste job: observation Й’bzЙ™Ð›â‚¬veЙЄКѓ(Й™)n/ noun noun: observation; plural noun: observations 1. the action or process of closely observing or monitoring something or someone. "she was brought into hospital for observation" synonyms: watching, monitoring, scrutiny, examination, inspection, scrutinization, viewing, survey, surveillance, surveying, attention, consideration, study, review "she was brought into hospital for observation" the ability to notice things, especially significant details. "his powers of observation" the act of taking the altitude of the sun or another celestial body to find a latitude or longitude. 2. a statement based on something one has seen, heard, or noticed. "he made a telling observation about Hughie" synonyms: remark, comment, statement, utterance, pronouncement, declaration; So as you can see, given that I have listed the synonyms of 'observation', that an opinion is....in fact..... not a synonym of an observation. Second, in what way is saying something 'appears' to be something inconsistent with an 'observation'. By observing you study how things appear. This is textbook Allain quibble. And how am i supposed to show evidence to the contrary, if i sit here and type 2 stories about friends who have been problem gamblers and are now recreational gamblers would that make a difference, not to you reading it shouldn't, after all it may not be what has happened. It proves to me that controlled gambling for problem gamblers can work and that is all i am interested in i am not interested in proving anything to you nor can i. I could post you success story links from the internet i would imagine but i could also post a link to a story saying that some humans take reptilian forms and that Elvis is on the moon with Shergar, when you really get down to things you find out that many things can be hard to prove, certainly an opinion over a keyboard. My point is - 'the evidence on gamcare shows that controlled doesn't work'. You have consistently said this is not true. So, now you are going to rely on 2 friends who, whilst onces addicts, are now recreational gamblers. Firstly, is this a 'hypothetical' 2 friends, or do you 'actually' 2 firends who were addicts and now gamble? Secondly, bear in mind addicts will lie to pretend they are not addicted. Thirdly, THEY'RE NOT ON GAMCARE. The fact that you would seek to rely on sucessful stories from the internet is frankly laughable and a sign of desperation. I could point to a signficant number of sucessful cases on here who relied on abstention. I'm not going to name names, it's inappropriate. But I'm sure anyone who spends time on here would know the people. I could sadly find evidence of 1000s of people who failed trying to control- it would take time but I'm confident I could do it. Your primary point was garbage in its lack of truth and unsustainable finality although well meaning and my underlying message would be one has to stand up and fight for what one believes in or what one desires and if you choose not to clarify simple requests then maybe it is better you do not waste your time going on, after all i remember a more challenging and well informed debate when i discussed the merits of ketchup or mayonnaise on a fish finger sandwich with my 4 year old niece. I wish you and everyone else trying to beat addiction every success also Well the last point your taking the p1$$ so I'll leave it there. ----- God, that was a boring exercise but needs must. I hope anyone reading doesn't get distracted from the key point: Controlled gambling does not work. No one is saying you MUST abstain. However, you will greatly increase your chances if you do so. There is a sucessful method and and an unsuccessful method. The degree to which controlled will fail, depends on what end of the wedge your on. Obviously, ocassional lottery will be less risky that 'reacreational gambling' (whatever that means). In life, it pays to follow sucessful paths. I try to do this when I can. If I see someone who's really good at his job at work, I'l learn. If I notice someone's got an infectious personality, I'll learn. I came here with no view on how to approach this addiction. I followed sucessful people - all of them abstained. I haven't gambled for 4 years. Final point Allain. When I started this debate with you, I assumed you were thin edge, ocassinal lottery type. It transpires your advocating hardline stuff. I don't normally engage with people in the early stages of active denial or who are still addicts. There's no point. They say black is white. I'm genuinely surprised at your 'out there' position so willl draw it to a close on my part. | |||||
RE: If I don’t stop I am going to lose everything | 63 Relevance | 4 years ago | Forum admin | Recovery Diaries | |
Dear @aliwonton1, I'm sorry to hear you're still really down and that you feel so low that you hate yourself. As severe as this feels for you now, please know there is always a way out of this and there is always people to help you with the problem gambling and all the negative impacts it creates. Have you spoken to your GP recently about how low you feel? If not, would you be able to make an urgent appointment please so they can support you? If you can't get an appointment in the near future, you can call the NHS 111 for urgent medical advice and they have the ability to make out of hours appointments if needed at a local GP Surgery. You can also access mental health websites with helplines on the below links:- Do you have a support network around you that you could also reach out to? To open up about the full extent of how you're feeling and about the damage the problem gambling has caused to your self worth and self esteem? There are other organisations that you can contact for support with debt and the Citizens Advice can give help with debt, essential living cost options if you're struggling, financial matters and legal if needed. Many people find it beneficial to self exclude from gambling, have you put this in place? If not, you can contact one of the self exclusion schemes to do this. We can give you more details if you would like to contact us to discuss things further and advise us which methods you use to gamble? You can call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) via our GamCare website. We're open day and night. We're always here for you, please remember you don't have to go through this alone. Kindest Regards Joanne Forum Admin | |||||
RE: Hope | 63 Relevance | 4 years ago | Forum admin | Recovery Diaries | |
Dear @S-687, Thank you for your recent post and for allowing us to support you, it's good to hear that you find writing therapeutic. Please continue to keep writing, posting and hopefully perusing other things that you find provides you with therapy. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low and that you're struggling, it's concerning to hear that you've "now almost reached that point where it feels like the grim reaper is coming to collect me." I'm really glad to hear that you've got an appointment with your GP on Monday, if you don't feel you can wait until then for medical support then please call the NHS 111 who are able to give advice and make urgent out of hours appointments with a local GP if needed. You can also access the below mental health websites, many also have a support helpline that you can call too. It's also worrying that you're running low on food and are either going without eating for a long period of time or rationing food. You can contact local food banks in your area to find out further details for accessing free food, there is always food available for you so please do not feel your only choice is to go without. Your GP should be able to give you more details on this too. www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/ If you contact the Citizens Advice, they can talk through any options available for help with essential living costs such as your food and travel to and from work. Your local council may be able to assist you too, they sometimes have a crisis loan option but there is criteria to meet to be eligible for this service. I really do hope you manage to get your hot water fixed soon, ten days is a long time to go without hot water so if it isn't repaired today, please ring your landlord to chase this up and to hopefully get a date that this will be resolved in the near future. Even if you feel you have to complain to escalate this further about how long you've had no facility to bathe. Having a hot soak can really help you to feel better, especially if you're doing long walks to work and back home after busy shifts helping care for others. Have you tried gaining further support through some counselling sessions? If not, this may really help you and your recovery and we can arrange a free referral for you if you contact us. We also have a new "Relapse Prevention Group" that is held online every Tuesday from 6pm to 7pm that you may find helpful if you're eligible to access it. You can find out further details and register your interest to attend by contacting 0207 801 7008 or emailing [email protected] It's good to hear you have support from your friend and that you opened up to him, well done. Do you think it would help to talk about your struggles with someone you trust at work so that they are aware of the situation, how it's impacting you, your work performance and so that they can support you? They may even be able to make reasonable adjustments at work to help you and your journey in to recovery or to accommodate your temporary change in mode of travel before starting work and after finishing. Please remember that you're never alone and that we're always here for you. No matter how severe things are at the moment, you can overcome the problem gambling and you can go on to live a happier, gamble free life. Although it's a challenge, it is one that many go on to achieve and that you can achieve it too. This relapse does not take away all the hard work, sacrifice and determination you previously put in. Although it is a stumble, it is one that you can recover from. We can work through everything together. We believe in you and your ability to recover. If you would like further support or to talk then please call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline via our GamCare website. We're always here, day and night for you and anyone affected by problem gambling. Sending you all the best, please take care of yourself and remember your worth. Kindest Regards Joanne Forum Admin | |||||
RE: 3 month - Christmas Challenge | 59 Relevance | 2 years ago | David | Overcoming Gambling Harms | |
Hi @cerrry93 really glad to hear the last one helped and great to have you join this one. 16 names below signed up, congratulations all, we have all made a great decision to stop gambling and improve our lifes. @rock123 @ssc180922 @lids19635 @steve13 @jobbo @nyaba @simonsmyork19 @mendoza @brigitte85 @adam123 @ssc180922 @lakelands @lids19635 @gamblingfree37 @cerrry93 @d122010 | |||||
RE: Ive got a gambling addiction | 55 Relevance | 4 years ago | Forum admin | New Members Intros Forum | |
Dear @lele, Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. Please keep accessing our forum so you can get support from your peers and share your experiences and goals with each other. You may also like to join one of our chatroom sessions, they open daily from 1pm until 2pm and then again at 8pm until 9pm with an extended closing time of 21:30pm on a Sunday evening. If so, please access it via our GamCare website. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, you've taken a really big and brave step by joining our forum to share your situation with us all which is fantastic. Well done on opening up to your partner, Dad and Brother. We know this isn't always easy to do and although it's something we encourage people to do, we understand it's not always possible. It's great that your partner is supporting you although I hear things are still raw at the moment. It's great to here you're seeing your GP today so they can support you with your mental health, there are also helplines that you can call if you need to talk further such as MIND, CALM and The Samaritans. If you need any help or support with essential living costs, debt or financial matters then please contact the Citizens Advice. There are also other charities that you can call for help with debt. It may help to speak to your landlord and the Council Tax office if you're still in arrears with them and struggling to pay it. They are then aware of the situation and you can try to work through a plan to together whilst discussing your options with them. Problem gambling can make people act in ways they wouldn't have done before the problem gambling became a priority, it can make you develop certain traits and characteristics such as the ones you've listed above. Please know that you and your Family are never alone, we're here for everyone affected by problem gambling. Overcoming gambling is an achievable challenge, many people go on to live a gamble and debt free life and you can do the same in time. You've already made great progress in the steps you've taken so far, this is your journey so what works for one person might not be right for you. Please keep looking until you find what feels comfortable and most suited to you. Have you thought about your partner taking over financial control or changing your bank account to one that blocks gambling transactions and puts a limit on the daily amount you can withdraw such as the Monzo account? There is also self exclusion that you can put in place for different forms of gambling and there is blocking software that you can install to your phone or device if you access online gambling. There is a charge for most blocking software registrations, this however normally covers a full year before it needs renewing. If you would like further support, to talk things through, to discuss more coping strategies or a free referral making for some support sessions in the form of counselling then please either call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) through our website. I hope your GP appointment goes well today. Kindest Regards Joanne Forum Admin | |||||
RE: Hello I’m new | 51 Relevance | 1 year ago | Forum admin | New Members Intros Forum | |
Hi @Mrmagoo888, Here are some organisations I would suggest having a look at: You can find a local food bank with the Trussell Trust - Food banks can often help with essential household items too. There are also many smaller, local groups running foodbanks. If they don’t have websites, they can usually be found on social media. There are food sharing apps that you can use such as and Your local council may be able to help with an emergency food parcel. Information on fuel banks: StepChange ( give free financial and debt advice, and have information on what to do if you need help with emergency funding, bills and rent at: Shelter ( can offer help around housing. Support around alcohol misuse - I hope this helps. Please do contact us on 0808 8020 133, on Netline, WhatsApp or Facebook if you would like further support. We can also help with various options which can help you in your recovery from problem gambling. Best wishes, Sophie Forum Admin | |||||
RE: Will it ever end | 47 Relevance | 4 years ago | Forum admin | New Members Intros Forum | |
Dear @bonnie, Thank you for sharing your post with us, it's good to hear you have taken comfort in some of the posts you have read on here, please continue to keep doing so. I'm sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment and that they have also been this way in the past whilst you was living with your ex husbands problem gambling. We would encourage you to speak to your GP about the depression and anxiety that you're experiencing, it may be very beneficial to get their advice and help with this. If you are unable to get an urgent appointment or you need advice outside of your GP opening times then you can call the NHS on 111. They are able to give medial support and make urgent out of hours appointments at a local GP if needed. You can also call one of the mental health helplines to get support with the way you're feeling such as MIND or CALM. or Please remember your future does not have to stay this way, overcoming problem gambling is a challenge. However, many people in similar situations to yours do manage to change their relationship with gambling and go on to live a life that is gamble free. You can do this and we're here for you every step of the way, so is our wonderful and supportive forum community and our live chat room users. You are not alone. Well done on achieving one year gamble free! This is an amazing achievement and proof that you can do this Bonnie so please believe in yourself and your ability to change the things that you're unhappy with including the gambling. The relapse does not take away all the hard work that you put in to achieving a full year of not gambling. It might be beneficial to think back to what helped you over the space of that year? What did you do to help yourself not gamble? There are many coping strategies that we can suggest to you, have you self excluded from online gambling with Gamstop? Have you added blocking software to your device such as Gamban or Gamblock? Although there is a charge for this, many find it very helpful to add it to their device. There are also bank accounts that block gambling transactions such as Monzo so this may be a good option for you too. We are able to make a free referral to our treatment team or one of our treatment partners that are based all over the UK if you would like some support sessions with them? They offer a range of different pathways in order to meet your individual needs so there will be an option that suits you such as one to one, telephone or online video call counselling. I noticed you are sometimes left without the money to pay for your bills, please know there are other organisations that can advise you of all options available for help with essential living costs such as rent/mortgage, bills and food. You can call your local council to find out about the criteria for applying to get a crisis loan. You can also contact The Citizens Advice for help with debt and other financial matters on 03444 111 444 or visit their website to talk to them online at There are local food banks should you need help with food, you can find the nearest one to you by visiting www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/ There is also some really good advice from Stepchange and the National Debt line for coping over the festive period, you can find this on the below links:- I wonder if you may be turning to gambling as a way of dealing with the emotions from the difficult time you talk about when you was with your ex husband? You mentioned the misery, despising it and losing your home which must have been an exceptionally hard, painful and traumatic time. Have you ever talked about this and the negative impact it had on you and your Family? If not, do you think some talking therapy would help? It is important to talk about how you're feeling and what you're thinking so we would always encourage you to open up to your support network if possible. We understand this isn't always an option and there is no pressure, some people find it lifts a weight from them when they release the burden of keeping everything a secret. It can do wonders for your mental and general health when everything is out in the open. We are here for your Family too, if your daughter, any of your other Family members or friends need support then please let them know they can also call us too. They can also attend an online meeting every Sunday from 8pm until 9pm that is specifically for the Family and Friends of problem gamblers by accessing it at Please remember to be kind to yourself, problem gambling does not discriminate from the vast variation of people who find themselves with a gambling problem. The great thing to come from all of this is that you've reached out for help today and that there is so much help, support, advice and guidance waiting for you. Please call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline via our GamCare website so we can talk things through together. Alternatively, you can email your details to [email protected] and we will arrange a call back to you. We believe in you and we know you can make the change. You can break the cycle again. We look forward to speaking with you soon, Kindest Regards Joanne Forum Admin | |||||
RE: Need advice | 43 Relevance | 1 year ago | Forum admin | New Members Intros Forum | |
Hello @Sunshine55, Welcome to the GamCare forum; I'm really glad you have joined. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so low at the moment. I can hear that you really care about your brother but it is so hard for you when he is continuing to gamble and not being honest with you. You're welcome to pass on our contact information to your brother; we're here 24 hours on 0808 8020 133, on Netline, on WhatsApp and on Facebook, and we could have a chat with him about his gambling and discuss with him various options which can help. Even if he is not ready to contact us yet, he will know that support is available. He might like to have a look at our recovery stories; this may give him hope that there is a way out of his gambling addiction. It is also really important to consider your own wellbeing and to practise self-care. You might like to have a look at Mind; they have various ideas for how you can look after yourself and can direct you to support if you are feeling low. I would also encourage you to reach out to any other family or friends that you have for support. You are also very welcome to contact us at any time; you can speak one to one with an advisor who can offer support and discuss some options which could help. You are never alone in this; there is always someone you can talk to here. You can also access free structured support with one of our practitioners, who specialise in supporting people affected by someone else's gambling; we can refer you for this if this is something you are interested in. GamAnon hold group supportive meetings for loved ones of someone with a gambling problem, both in person and through Zoom. GamFam can offer various support, such as through their GRA5P programme. BeGambleAware have information on looking out for you when affected by someone else's gambling. You might also like to have a look at our group chatroom. Please keep posting; we are here for you. Best wishes, Sophie Forum Admin |
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