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depression AFTER stopping

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 18/08/2010 - 19:27

robzster

Joined:
2008-11-09

hi my name is Robbie and i am a compulsive gambler, after 25 years of gambling i made a choice this year to tackle the problem before i lost everything i had.

in march i stopped and got support through the people on this website. i also started counsellingv abouit tackling the issue, everything so far has been ok (apart from 2 little slips) but now i feel really low and depressed,

financially things have been tough as the true extent of the debt i have is just about caught up with me (around 12k), although i have began a debt management plan and i'm now starting to pay this back slowly

my problem is this, now that i have all but stopped gambling i am having trouble filling the void with what was now very obvious a HUGE part of my life that gambling took up.i have joined the gym to try and fill some of that void but i now am starting to sink into depression, the feeling is like i have lost one of my best friends and actually feel like crying sometimes, i dont seem to be able to find a purpose in life just now.

has anyone else felt this way and i would be interested to hear how they dealt with this feeling of loss so to speak???

deep down i know i have done the right thing in tackling this affliction but at the moment it really doesn't feel that way

Posted on:
Thu, 19/08/2010 - 12:46

Beany

Joined:
2009-12-08

Hey Rob, I have also been on and off quiting this year and each time I quit for like a week and gambled again I got depressed. I have had counselling with Gamcare and use the chat room. It has been 31 days so far for me and although it is still early I am very depressed, bored and don't have nothing else to do either. I suppose it is one day at a time as they say so let's hope we can get this problem sorted.

Posted on:
Sat, 21/08/2010 - 23:38

The_Rock

Joined:
Before 2009

Hey guys

I also feel the same, like nothing can replace the void or give me the same level of excitement. I like to remind myself of those nights when i would be shaking, hating myself and in utter despair.

As for filling the void i just try to immerse myself in something, whatever it may be; work, housework (lol), sports, computer games. I can't say it gives me the same feeling but that's the point, with the amazing highs come the devestating lows, you cant have one without the other. One thing i really recommend (if possible) is try to plan ahead what you will do on any given day, i have various nights to do certain things and what i have done is sign up for any available overtime, that way i am preventing myself from gambling and earning cash in the process. This will in turn help me to become financially stable and not need to gamble as a lot of my gambling has been purely to raise additional funds when i feel like i dont have enough to get by. Good Luck...

Posted on:
Sun, 22/08/2010 - 08:48

S.A

Joined:
Before 2009

Hey Robbie,

Am much the same really. I took the decison to stop several years ago and bar the very occasional slip after drinking am living a gambling free life. But like you say when you go from gambling alot to not gambling at all it exposes voids in ones life. I think for a lucky few they settle quite naturally back into a happy and contented family life and take up long forgotten interests and do fill that void.. but for many of us it can feel like a bit of a hard slog.. its different for all of us.

As for me the gym certainly helped and am now very much into my running and take part in races. I also like to read and write on here which helps fill the void but as with you am still prone to bouts of depression, apathy, boredom, loneliness.. the list goes on. This is the hard work of recovery learning to deal with these things without taking the edge off with gambling. It is not easy. This is why life has to be taken one day at a time only.

Indeed yesterday i was feeling really low and if I thought to myself that i was going to feel that way forever i'd of been back to gambling in a flash. But I know I won't you see. My emotional state is constantly changing and i know that sooner or later I will start to feel positive again and doing positive and purposeful things. All the best in recovery.. keep working at it.. S.A

Posted on:
Sun, 22/08/2010 - 09:06

Max111

Joined:
2010-08-01

Its been 5 weeks for me but I had excluded from all local establishments 2 years ago and became sort of a weekend warrior.

Weekends are very hard and there is a big void. I have been very emotional on weekends. I joined an online dating site which probably was not the greatest idea since I am not really emotionally or financially ready for it. But hey you know - its been killing some time.

My pattern was go on Friday and sit around all remorseful and depressed on Saturday. So at least I do not have that feeling of total regret anymore. Thats something isn't it?

What do normal people do when they get depressed and feel lonely? I know we have this thing we used to do to escape from it all but everyone feels down sometimes.

Maybe its as some pointed out that it is like a passing of a friend and that's not going to go away overnight. Takes some time.

Clean time is a great feeling though - right?

Posted on:
Sun, 22/08/2010 - 12:12

robzster

Joined:
2008-11-09

thanks for the advice guys, some really helpful tips on how to deal with the depression.

going to try and find things to fill my time and replace the void, hopefully. long road ahead but determined to stay strong.