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Posted on:
Tue, 09/10/2018 - 13:35

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Happy birthday my man. Warmest regards to you.

Posted on:
Wed, 10/10/2018 - 17:05

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Afternoon dear diary.
Signalman thanks for the kind wishes, as I said to the lad in the gym last night when he wished me a happy birthday, I guess when you get to a certain age you try to forget it's your birthday lol.
So I had a really good session in the chair yesterday with my tattooist he got a good bit of my upper arm covered and with a few more hours work in a couple of weeks booked the tattoo that was there will be a mere memory. I am delighted with the design and even more delighted to again have spent a few hours in the company of such a decent fellow.
We talked a great deal in the last hour of the session about addiction, me from an addicts view and him from the point of view of a victim, another innocent victim of this addiction.
His ex partner and mother of two is still an active compulsive gambler, to listen to the life he was led for two years was truly sobering and in truth again it would be like ripping pages of my own life story.
But that true with a great deal of compulsive gamblers is it not, the lies come too easily, the deceit and denial.
I lived that life, danced progressively to a tune that only ever benefitted addiction.
The question I am most often asked by non compulsive gamblers is why can't you walk away when you are winning??
The response I give always the same.
I cannot win because I cannot stop.
The life mantra of the compulsive gambler.
I also shared the fact.
How do you make a compulsive gambler a millionaire??
Simple start him a billionaire.

I offered some advice, the main thing don't help to feed addiction.
He gives money every week for the keep and bills, I said you should food shop and pay the bills. Because I know that money was simply fuel that fed addiction.
Cut off the fuel and the fire cannot burn.
I finished with the fact for me that an addict can only arrest addiction when they are ready, intervention just doesn't work.
I was grateful for the chat, it was enlightening and humbling.
So today is mental health awareness day, a day where I hope that the powers that be will see the terrible state of mental health services and actually do something about making it better, more accessible and as an outcome something that creates a better system of care to mental health patients.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Sat, 13/10/2018 - 06:50

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary
Two long days at the stove done and three more on the bounce to follow, without doubt back to back to back 13/14 hour days are a great deal easier when you are doing something that doesn't feel like work.
Equally this is the first time in my life that I have worked a job that isn't salaried so that makes it a great deal more worthwhile.
Sarah went off to her job before me this morning, a job which has given her a new zest for living.
Addiction is cornered, it's got no avenue to run down to re enter the fray, the tables have turned because as an active gambler that was me the one cornered running down a blind alley.
Today I will enjoy the light.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Sat, 13/10/2018 - 12:55

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Hi Duncs, one of the few names I recognise on here, having not posted in a while. Good to see you continuing forward in your journey. Read a few comments back, your pleas for people not to isolate themselves, so true, it is such a danger to a gambling addict: an opportunity to feel sorry for ourselves, time and opportunity for gambling to creep in. Enjoy your day.

Posted on:
Thu, 18/10/2018 - 07:44

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
Rhoda thanks for popping by.
So my dear friend I had a busy, long weekend, one of the chefs had to be sent home as he was very ill with a chest infection and despite his pleas that he would survive I packed him off home to bed so his antibiotics would be able to work. I picked up the extra work load and hours and again a good productive weekend was had.
On Friday night walking my beloved hounds I got bitten on the leg by what my doctor believes to be a spider, because on Tuesday I had to visit the surgery as my leg was severely swollen and very angry looking. I had taken antihistamine and piled on the bite cream all weekend to no avail and when I visited the chemist on Monday I was told to get to a doctor.
So I am now on antibiotics, in the night it has appeared to have burst all over the place so I have cleaned it up and will continue to take the pills, there appears to be a hole growing in the middle of the wound so I will keep an eye on it today.
Yesterday I was labouring, a long days graft made harder by my leg which burnt all day.
Today a day off, one I will spend with Sarah as she is also off.
For now I have returned to bed, not something I often do, but today I will answer to my bodies request.
Just for today I will look out for number one.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back

Posted on:
Fri, 19/10/2018 - 11:48

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
So my antibiotics are beginning to work, this afternoon I am back to the stove for a ten day straight so I am glad to be feeling better.
I have seen a great deal of the Alan Carr book mentioned over the past week, something I have not read but did read his book on giving up smoking and still smoke so I am a bit sceptical.
I have said the words that have been shared many times in my time here.
Recovery is bespoke, there is no absolute recipe for it, so if it is tailored to fit and the outcome is the same then for me that is fantastic.
For me abstinence, arresting the next bet is and was the easiest part.
Apply the triangle.
Time - money - location
Take at least one away at all times and you simply cannot have a punt.
But I know that didn't change the person I had become, in fact arresting the punt led me to procrastinate more, feel more unworthy, more angry.
I had to change.
Change came by working the steps, with other like minded folk and from that came honesty and a desire to live and change.
I equally had to be ready and fully committed.
For the first four and a half years I wrote this thread I wasn't, no book or sound advice would have changed that.
Today it's different, this morning rather than procrastinating about Alan Carr I think I might give his smoking book another try.
Today I have the ability to change, because I have a want to live the best life I can for myself.
That took a great deal of time to come about
And numerous sources.
My eggs are no longer in one basket.
That works for me.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Fri, 19/10/2018 - 23:49

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Thanks for this post dunc... For 2 reasons:

1) you made me laugh with the passage about reading the smoking book then continuing to smoke :o) not sure if that was an intentional joke but it made me chuckle.

2) I have seen so much positive feedback re Allen Carr's book on here that I bought it... But now I won't open it. Someone mentioned that maybe I'm not fully ready to give up on gambling that's why? This got me worried. Having read your post I now realise that I'm ok with having the book and not reading it yet... Like you my eggs are happily placed in various baskets right now and I just can't carry any more baskets currently... My hands are full and I'll end up dropping a basket and breaking eggs if I'm not careful. When the load gets lighter and I have more capacity I'll read it then. Thanks a lot dunc.

Posted on:
Sat, 20/10/2018 - 06:44

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning diary.
Signalman fella I guess I have a kind of gallows humour, but there was a serious point in the words I wrote. For me to be told someone is playing a con trick doesn't sit well with me and it leaves me seeking revenge, I become sort of entrenched with it, it consumes my every thought.
For me the day I accepted that gambling wasn't the problem I was, was the day I moved forward.
Gambling will always exist and has way before my time.
I am on route back to work.
Bring it on.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Mon, 22/10/2018 - 09:03

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
So yesterday was a tough day, we had put a hundred plus meals over the pass by half past two and ran out of our roasts. I had to send one lad home after ten minutes of his shift as he was sick and the other chef is on a week's holiday so Sarah and lily filled the hole, luckily they were free as I wouldn't have got through service without them.
We had fun and all shared a Chinese last night through the gratuities we earned.
So today I am starting a new week, seven days at the stove of which I will enjoy every minute.
Then next week I am cooking Monday and then handing over the kitchen and my keys on Tuesday.
I am comfortable with decision, truthfully it is opening the door to the opportunity to earn more or less the same money for less hours a week and a great deal less stress.
I am finally looking after myself first and foremost and as a result my family will benefit.
Tonight we close earlier and I will be able to reward myself with a steam and sauna on my way home.
Addiction sits and watches, praying for the opportunity to try and re enter into the forefront of my mind.
Just for today I won't be leaving any doors open.
That is enough.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Fri, 26/10/2018 - 11:41

paulds

Joined:
2012-01-13

Hey Duncs,

Good to hear that all is well, keep fighting, keep living the life you want. That gambling demon is always ready to jump on our weakness. But now you are stronger.

Good to hear about handing over the keys, glad to hear you are not overdoing it. You are a real grafter and I am sure you will throw your energy into your next project.

Great to see you going after what makes you happy. I salute you sir!

Paulds

Posted on:
Mon, 29/10/2018 - 06:46

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
Paulds thanks for popping by, your words humble me greatly.

So I got through a 75 hour working week, it will reward me next week when I get paid, although the taxman will take a fair sized chunk, but I accept that and will take the rest and spend it wisely.
I will start a new week today with the same gusto, I will equally do what I did last week, I still got to the gym four times and I am without doubt feeling the benefits of that.
I always thought the effort spent there would leave me exhausted and running on an empty tank but it actually has the reverse effect, it seems to wake me up from deep within.
I have started eating better, well not really a change in diet but eating at better times, not trying to eat a meal at eleven o'clock at night is a good place to start!!
Because I then don't sit up for the next two hours waiting for it to go down.
So I have been taking a break at work and eating, even sitting down to do so, not something that I have ever done, like many chefs you get used to standing on your feet all day and any food is eaten on the hoof.
I have also found that by eating a meal at a more sensible time I get to sleep more so I have a better cycle.
Lol its only taken 44 years for me to learn that I am allowed to look after myself!!
Addiction, active addiction doesn't want you to care about yourself.
I gave wholly to it for long enough.
In return you get to run around an ever decreasing circle chasing your own tail.
I see addiction down the bottom of that hole.
I will watch it, I won't turn my back on it.
It will remain alive and in my control that way I can always counter its calling and react with an educated choice.
I will be up and at em shortly, even the lure of a sneaky hot whippet who found his way into the bed won't keep me in bed..
Well maybe one quick cuddle lol.
I will live by a choice, one which will serve me well.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Wed, 31/10/2018 - 08:44

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
So I am on route to the pub to work the lunch time session, lots of bookings and not enough staff, I am very tired but know that I will be in a better place mentally by putting in a few more hours.
Ordered a new tumble dryer this morning, the old one had seen better days and was very uneconomical to run.
This purchase is the result of the effort given to work and not to the fookety******* of gambling.
That is inspiration enough.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back

Posted on:
Sat, 03/11/2018 - 07:11

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
Another busy week of work and a couple of long days graft ahead. I got myself to the gym four times this week and feel so much better for the effort.
Tuesday sees the last of our kids out of their teens as callum turns 20. Also he shares his birthday with Mr blue who turns ten on the same day. I will be taking the day off so I can cook up something delicious for the both of them.
Sarah has booked her theory test for her driving and her instructor is happy with her progress to date, I am so proud of her and know that by her learning to drive another door will open for us.
Addiction still lurks in the background, it wants action, I have gambled three times since I began writing here and the first was around this time of year when I thought I would be able to buy something for callums birthday that we simply couldn't afford. Not this year, I know the value of every penny we earn and I equally know what that punt brought.
Self loathing, financial damage, emotional upset for the folk I care most about and worst of all I became isolated again.
I have learned a great deal about myself in my time here, I do believe that I am a better reflection to the world as a result.
I equally understand that this is a never ending development.
That is inspiring.
Just for today I will not gamble
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Sun, 04/11/2018 - 03:26

Bobbyj

Joined:
2018-09-28

Nice one Duncs, it’s always good to look back at the bad times , it reminds us painfully that gambling is truly damaging, causing far much more than financial damage,  the times you and your family have now are more valuable than anything and well done my friend, you are an inspiration to us all, ave a good’n. Guard Up , Bobbyj / rainman 

Posted on:
Sun, 04/11/2018 - 18:34

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Evening dear diary.
Rainman thanks for popping by, I am deeply humbled by your kind words.
So today I woke up with a dark cloud over my head, I know its the result of a few factors.
The clocks changing last week always has had a detrimental effect on my head space, I sleep very little and my body clock struggles with the gained hour, I find myself awake at four am, staring into nothing and my mind starts questioning itself.
I have been at the pub all week, seven days graft, I stepped in to fill a hole, that hole will exist again next week.
Sometimes it's like groundhog day.
I have to stand strong and say no.
I have to look after myself.
Emptiness is a feeling I have lived with throughout my life, I know what that sinking feeling does, depression is for me a road with no junctions, there is no way out of an episode, I want to shut the door and hide, I want the ground to swallow me up.
So what is different.
Today I have spoken honestly to Sarah, our amazing children and for the duration of my episode I will do what suits my mind.
I have left work early had a steam and sauna and am enjoying a quick pint of the black stuff whilst I type the inner feelings of my mind.
I will head home soon.
Most of all I will keep myself safe.
If my mind is still fighting itself in a day or two I will seek the advice of my GP.
What I refuse to do is run.
Because in black and white I can never let myself ever get to the place I stood 500 days ago, because I know that I may not be granted the opportunity again.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I respect that.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Sun, 04/11/2018 - 21:12

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Duncan,

Good evening. As always powerful words in your diary posts. Raw, emotional and truthful. For those reasons you have my utmost respect.

When i arrived here several years ago my mind could not fathom the true meaning of what you were saying.

Today.your words resonate through me with power and honesty.

Respect young sir

Posted on:
Mon, 05/11/2018 - 05:46

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning diary.
Balance my dear friend I am so pleased that you are enjoying life without the self destruction that addiction brings.
So dear diary I have a day's work ahead of me at the pub, fireworks night, a display and a huge bonfire laid on by the owners and I have a bbq running to feed the crowd.
Which means that I won't have the kitchen door to hide behind I will be in the public eye.
So I will strap on a mask and professionally do what I do.
I have cleared my schedule for the following few days, I will allow myself some down time to, rest, sleep and do what I can to lift the fog from my mind.
Truthfully today I would like to climb into the cupboard under the stairs and hide from the world, that's been my answer to episodes of depression, to run and hide but I know that results in a deterioration of my mental wellbeing, equally so does walking through the doors of the bookmakers, something that I haven't done for 500 days.
I will face my inner self, I will gladly take the help of the amazing people around me and I will ride through my current emotional state to a place where I can again find calmer waters.
I have learnt a great deal about myself since I stopped running from myself or escape from myself through feeding addiction, I have grown a resolve as a result and most importantly a desire to live.
Today I don't want to die or be dead, something I view as huge progress as for my entire life when these episodes of depression occur I have sort comfort in the thought of the ultimate escape, to end the inner turmoil through taking my own life.
Recovery has opened the door to the opportunity of a better more peaceful life.
For now I will hold tight and sail head on into the storm that rides through my mind, for I know that there is calm on the other side.
Just for today I won't run, addiction would love the opportunity to capitalise.
I will heighten my blocks and keep myself safe.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Mon, 05/11/2018 - 11:56

Markman

Joined:
2011-12-14

Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on yet another 500 gamble free days Duncanmac!

I am absolutely delighted for you.

Your presence on this forum continues to inspire us all.

Personally, I could not possibly quantify how many of my own days of abstinence are attributable to your frank, yet undertanding, words of support and positive influence.

Sorry I have not yet replied to your last and caring post on my diary. This will follow, but know that it landed at a real time of need and was the source of much comfort.

I cannot thank you enough.

I will be sure to be toasting your health tonight Duncanmac. Here's to the next 500!

Best wishes,

Markman

Posted on:
Mon, 05/11/2018 - 20:30

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi there, congratulations on 500 days. I often read your diary, the help and advice you offer others, what a journey you've had. Anyone who feels there is no hope should read your diary and have faith in themselves that things can change. Take care S :)

Posted on:
Mon, 05/11/2018 - 22:45

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Flying by with cyber strength & hugs as you negotiate this latest raincloud my friend ((Duncs))

And in case I forget..Happy Birthday Callum & Mr Blue for 2moz :-)

Posted on:
Tue, 06/11/2018 - 13:55

Self Sufficient...

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Duncan on 500 days gamble free.

You have come a long way through sheer hard work. It is not been easy but you have maintained a strong desire to make sense of it all. Now living a meaningful life, free from addiction, you are indeed a good man of integrity, courage and compassion. I have the utmost respect and admiration for what you have achieved.

Wishing you every happiness, contentment and good adventures as you continue on your journey ...stephen 

Posted on:
Tue, 06/11/2018 - 23:51

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Huge congrats on 500 days my man. Bring on 500 more and even more there after.

Keep sailing on through that storm. Once you pass through the eye of the storm it will be tranquil on the other side... Head for that place with all your might.

Good luck with the BBQ :o)

Posted on:
Fri, 09/11/2018 - 08:43

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary
Thanks so much for the kind words everyone I am deeply humbled by the way folk behave here.
Recovery is something that brings out the humility in folk, when I was active I couldn't give a hoot about anyone or anything unless I was to benefit, everyone and everything was seen as the enemy.
Folk, family, work colleagues just got in the way of my gambling tokens, I was deeply bitter and twisted.
I was unable to accept the consequences of my actions, it was always somebody else's fault.
That is pretty hideous isn't it.
Today I am able to accept my shortfalls and equally apologise when I am wrong.
I equally have the ability to speak up when I am wronged.
It's a balance.
So my mental wellbeing is returning to a better place, I have slept a great deal over the past three days and answered to my bodies needs.
I understand myself so much better today.
Again I choose life.
Addiction has battered my defences over the past few days, it saw an in.
I held strong, I surrounded myself with good intentions.
Addiction is the one left licking it's wounds.
A good thing.
I accept it will always be a part of my mind.
Today I made a choice.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Fri, 16/11/2018 - 08:59

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
Another busy week of work for me and three more days graft lay ahead before the week is out.
I have been following the recent brexit developments and I have to say that I am not surprised by the circus it has become.
Why?
Because I liken it to the life of an active compulsive gambler.
No plan in place from the outset just throwing yourself at something that you don't fully believe in because deep down you know what the outcome will be.
The abject feeling of loss.
How can this be the deal that people want, when we were asked a question which a majority gave an answer to that in my opinion nobody in politics even considered they would so no plan or policy was ever made.
The result is it's become like a sketch from a monty python film.
Add to that the white elephant in my opinion which are the new regulations over the fobt and it leaves me thinking that there is not a single mp I would put in charge of running a bath.
I accept that I can't change the outcome of those events so I will focus upon the things I myself can.
I have struggled with the past few days at home, why??
Because Sarah has worked two night shifts and they threw my ability to sleep, I laid restless and couldn't relax, I accept that it's not unacceptable for Sarah to work whatever shifts help her to progress in her new career and I expressed that to her last night, but I was equally honest about how it made me feel.
Equally working a couple of nights meant that on her 'day off'
Yesterday she slept all day which kind of took her day off away.
Still I can only express how I feel and from that try to become a better person.
We did manage an early evening session in the steam and sauna before supper which was a pleasant way to finish the day.
We have been eating well this week which gifts me a better amount of energy and more get up and go.
The outcome balance, in mind and body.
From that I make a choice
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Mon, 19/11/2018 - 14:33

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Afternoon dear diary.
Another week negotiated without stepping across the freshhold of a bookmakers, another week were my life held meaningful moments, a week in which work dominated and for me that's OK.
Today I have a day off, I got up early and ran the dogs, they love to run and the field was empty, they had their zoomies as we call it and came home and went back to bed.
I had the intention of getting to the gym early and then to head to the cinema but my body said sleep so I went back to bed.
I feel great for it and we are sat enjoying a coffee in the hotel bar after a late visit to the gym and wet room.
I have been feeling under the weather for the past few days, sore throat and a hell of a cough and headache. I know my body needs a rest so I'll give it as much as I can this week. We were going to head to mums for a few days r and r but I have work every other day so we have shelved the plans.
Sarah has a few days off so we will get to enjoy each others company.
Everything today has a meaning, happens for a reason.
I value the small simple things, they provoke me to try harder.
As for addiction.
I sits dormant, skulking in the back of my head, longing for the opportunity to try to regain control.
Just for today I have the reigns.
Off to find a new rucksack, time for a bag that looks after my body better, the satchel I have is brutal on my one shoulder lol.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Wed, 21/11/2018 - 20:35

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Evening diary.
No bookmakers tempted me today, why would they??
The presence of a punt would offer one outcome.
Destruction.
Because I live with addiction.
Just for today it remains arrested.
That is enough.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Tue, 27/11/2018 - 06:23

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary.
Well up with the larks this morning, Sarah has a couple of early starts and we went to bed early so after a day off yesterday I am up and full of beans.
Long working day for me today as tomorrow I have an appointment at the vet with Mr blue, he has developed quite a few lumps on his chest and I need to get them checked out, with honesty I fear the worst and instead of avoiding the potential outcome I will face whatever it is and do from that the best I can.
He and hovis have been such a huge part of my life these past few years, they have been by my side without question every step.
I know it may sound strange but I have a greater connection with the pair of them than I do with most humans, we have an understanding of each other and it's unconditional.
Other than that another busy week ahead, the festive season approaching fast, well folk were in the pub on Sunday eating the Christmas menu and wearing paper hats, yes the 25th of November and folk booked a Christmas meal out!!
For me a truly terrible thing but hey ho, I know that in 29 days the Isle in my local supermarket that is currently filled with festive goods will be full of creme eggs!!!
And I love a creme egg lol.
The gym has had their Christmas tree up for the last two weeks and I wondered how long it will be until folk just leave them up all year round, the same goes for the houses around me that look like they have robbed the Blackpool illuminations!!!
Still each to their own.
We have booked mum and Ed into a hotel so we can enjoy each others company for a few days, for us that's the greatest gift we could have.
Right off to wander across the top of my beloved city with my best friends, well that's if I can coax them out of our bed where they have been since Sarah got up,lol they love it when one of us is out the door early they are straight in and snuggled up together.
A truly adorable sight.
Today I will live with a mantra
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Mon, 03/12/2018 - 06:01

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Morning dear diary
Well an eventful week just gone, addiction dominated it's outcome.
Not mine but the pubs head chef's alcoholism.
He turned up intoxicated more than once but seemed to have gone for one too many before work and promptly got himself dismissed.
So I was called and am back in the saddle until a replacement can be found.
I am happy to work the next three weeks straight but am off from Christmas eve through until New year's eve because I have plans, we are having a family Christmas, a proper family Christmas and nothing will stop us from doing so.
For the first time I can remember I am actually looking forward to it, not the commercial side but the time I will get to enjoy spending with the folk that count most.
Mr blue got his test results, no cancer thankfully but a few other problems, looks like he has a heart condition which we will find out more about when we return this month but nothing that we can't deal with so I am so pleased in that regard as I wrote he has played such a huge part of my life since we rescued him.
In turn he has rescued me.
So up with the larks this morning, I will grab a steam and sauna on route to work, an early finish today as we don't open on Monday nights, a family roast the plan.
Addiction lays sulking again in the doldrums of my mind, I await it trying to gatecrash the party.
I have a doorman to refuse it entry
Because the outcome of its presence would have only one outcome.
Destruction
Not today, that's all I have to look after.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back

Posted on:
Tue, 04/12/2018 - 22:08

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Evening diary.
So another day at the stove, a day of straightening things out and a serious deep clean, funny how folk have different standards of what they call clean, me I learnt the old school way, everything is left the way you found it every day day, which means everything is shiny and new, so today all but one piece of kit is clean, proper clean and the last piece will be done tomorrow.
In truth the other staff hate it, my ethics but I really don't care, I am not going to lower my standards for anyone else so they can have an easier life.
So I got away in time to grab a steam and sauna and now I nurse a single pint of the black stuff before heading home to wander with my beloved hounds.
Then a quick snuggle before repeating the same.
The moral of today.
Look after myself, live to be the best I can.
That begins and ends without stepping into a bookmakers.
Today I didn't.
For that reason I win.
For that reason tomorrow will be a better day.
Today I choose life.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Wed, 05/12/2018 - 21:10

New day

Joined:
2015-04-05

Hope you enjoyed the pint of the black stuff. Your posts are honest and inspirational. Here’s to a gamble/stress free Christmas. 

Posted on:
Mon, 10/12/2018 - 17:14

Markman

Joined:
2011-12-14

Duncan,

I hope this post finds you and your family in the best of health.

Many thanks for stopping by my diary last week (or so). As ever your kind words mean so much and I genuinely do feel that you are right behind me - as you have been behind so many gamble free days since we met on this forum.

Your last post made me chuckle. You seem to share a similar work ethic. Just as you seem to relish an immaculately clean kitchen; I cannot abide an office unless every single file is tucked away alphabetically in the cabinet and every staple and paper clip removed from the carpet! A clean adn tidy work space is  a productive and happy one - needless to say customers getting food poisoning is less common in my line of work!

As I prepare for my 40th on 21st (thought I would drop that in), I am starting to wind down and look forward to a peaceful and gamble free Christmas and so hope that you are able to do the same.

Best wishes,

Mark

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