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Posted on:
Sat, 01/09/2018 - 21:02

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

Hi,

Just reading signalman posts and noticed yours. Just thought spot on advice and with a lot of hindsight and maturity.

Gutted when I read your own post today. Was this a one off or have you been gambling for sometime again as I noticed no recent comments on your page?

I can only speak from experience and say it's never too late to start again. Doing it differently myself on this occasion. Full disclosure, no access to money, and GA and this forum. Lot of guilt and suffering with depression and anxiety in which I've taken counselling.

Mine's very much an emotional illness which I guess from the reading yours is too. Great loss!

Whilst not rock bottom on this occasion, we need to begin liking ourselves and living life again.

All the best.

ALN

Posted on:
Sat, 01/09/2018 - 21:39

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

My addiction to fobt has been going on for a long time aln. I have lost pretty much everything because of it. The only way signalman will save he relationship is honesty I have been in his shoes. But yeah I suffer all the things you have said. I have had counselling didn’t work been to doctors pretty much useless. I don’t have hold of my cash card but can easily get it off my mam tbh. My mam 68 years old I’m 37 how sad that when I have no control. As for gambling yeah it’s never really stopped for quite a few years. I’m self excluded but it doesn’t work 

Posted on:
Sat, 01/09/2018 - 21:57

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

Guess we both know it's about drawing a line and not crossing it.

Had my fill 2 weeks ago having watched myself return to the counter time and time again until all gone. Don't like discussing amounts but many, many, many thousands. Pure madness.

Came away knowing something has to change. If not I'm looking at an early grave. This would destroy my family.

Decided time to start living life, make progress, and improve on many character flaws. Same as before, start liking myself again.

You're an intelligent guy and you like me know there's only one way this can be beat, and that's all in. GA meetings, support, and daily updates re Gamcare.

Hope something clicks, and you, like I, start to take back control.

Posted on:
Sat, 01/09/2018 - 22:16

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Total madness from me today I not be able to set foot in there again with embarrassment which is a good thing.Not rock bottom but my emotional state is not good because I keep doing the same thing time and time again. I worry about about  everything. I never beat it. It’s about managing it because it will always be inside me to lose control

Posted on:
Sat, 01/09/2018 - 23:44

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Mate I hear you - the madness is always in there and when we don't feel it it's still in there hiding.

I'm only on day 3 so emotionally a wreck still but every time I come on here I'm buoyed by the support and courage shown by people trying to free themselves from this ****

Strength in numbers. I need to speak to my wife like you say... I'm just so ashamed and gutless I guess. I'm 35 and everything in my life was cruising until 3 days ago. Absolute mad one from me. They say oh here that every day you'll become stronger so tomorrow when you wake up you'll be that little bit stronger. Keep going. Don't give up. When you feel good - capitalise on that and do positive things. When you feel bad, come on here and seek support.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/09/2018 - 10:07

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

 

Cheers for your support signalman.    

Heads still all over the place. I did yesterday what I always do after a massive loss I tried to get a loan to cover the loss because I can’t take losing that type of money. I did manage to get a loan at a low apr 7.9. But me getting a loan is not a solution to my problem and I’m thinking about just paying it back I have 14 days before I get charge interest on it.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/09/2018 - 10:29

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Listen mate do what you think is right LONG TERM. You may have a loan come now but if payments are not realistic over time you'll only screw yourself over and create heartache later on. Look after yourself... Take care of yourself - only take on the loan if you really need it due to not being able to financially uphold the loss you had. If you can survive the loss without the loan... Don't take it mate. Do what's best for you... Don't punish yourself more through self-loathing.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/09/2018 - 10:31

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

We will all try and work through this altogether boss... Don't forget that.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/09/2018 - 10:58

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

I can afford loan no problem do I need it the answer is no.                     Cheers signalman 

Posted on:
Mon, 03/09/2018 - 08:58

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Back to work today after a week off. Really can’t be bothered with it after losing all that money last week

Posted on:
Mon, 03/09/2018 - 14:52

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Good luck at work mate. Put a face on and just go for it. Every day you work and don't gamble you are the victor. Keep fighting. Last week is done now - this week is there for you to make the best of - you can shape your future - not your past. Forget last week now - or at least try to (not easy I know)

Posted on:
Mon, 03/09/2018 - 16:17

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

This week you're thinking "Gosh last week was ****" I hope this time next week you're thinking "ok! Last week was good - got my head down - worked - remained GF - great week!" Then build on that week by week Boro. Sounds hard to comprehend now but keep on a positive path and you'll leave last week way behind you. Good luck.

Posted on:
Mon, 03/09/2018 - 22:01

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

I’m thinking signalman last week started off well and then I screwed up on Friday which has knocked me back a bit. Work was not to bad it took me mind off things I have no intention of gambling the money gone I’m only going to lose more by gambling. Cheers for your continued support though signalman 

Posted on:
Tue, 04/09/2018 - 19:41

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Another day at work done. Gambling couldn’t be any further away from my mind. It’s just the £2500 lost that’s killing me. Been on here a long time now and nothing really changed apart from not in any debt which I was when I first came on here. I have seen a lot of people come and go. But a lot relapse and come back. You just hope the people that don’t come back have soughted there life’s out. In my opinion gambling addiction is one of the worst because you can only take a certain amount of drugs or alcohol before your body won’t take anymore where as gambling you rarely stop till every penny has gone. Never taken an illegal drug in my life don’t drink much but I’m saddled with a horrible gambling addiction which up to now has ruined my life. 

Posted on:
Wed, 05/09/2018 - 09:39

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Day off today. Relax 

Posted on:
Wed, 05/09/2018 - 15:41

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Paid loan back of £7000 today got it after losing the money on Friday. Didn’t need it I was just trying to cover for money I’d lost. Life could be worse 

Posted on:
Wed, 05/09/2018 - 16:45

A 9

Joined:
2018-08-31

Good call Boro :))  The times I've done the same losing then taking out cash on a card or flexiloan to cover my tracks or was it to sooth my sore ego for all the losses and in my mind take me back to level's again ? . 

Anyway a moment of rational thought and clarity ? 

Good on yer mate :))  

Posted on:
Wed, 05/09/2018 - 19:38

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

It had to be done A9 it would have been silly for me to go into debt for no reason. Plus there always that risk of gambling it away. In the past I have always tried to cover the money with loans

Posted on:
Thu, 06/09/2018 - 12:32

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well could have gone to sedgefield races today with me brother but I don’t think it’s right I should be anywhere near gambling at the minute. A bit gutted but also tired after finishing work. 

Posted on:
Fri, 07/09/2018 - 20:24

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Had a bit of an urge to try my luck at winning back what I lost the last couple of days. Could not do it to myself or my family so I bought my daughter some ellesee leggings and a hoodie costing £53 which made me feel a lot better than wasting my money on the fobt. These machines are dangerous the sooner stakes are reduced the better for everyone. I still be a compulsive gambler after there are reduced but I won’t play on these machines again because I not get the same buzz out of £2 

Posted on:
Fri, 07/09/2018 - 21:54

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Well done mate. You fought back. that's great. Keep fighting every day. Forget the money you lost... It's gone. Don't stake your future by trying to win it back... You got more to lose in the long run. Great work today. You should be proud.

Posted on:
Sun, 09/09/2018 - 11:21

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

No gambling starting to forgive myself for the £2500 loss. Cheers for your support signalman 

Posted on:
Sun, 09/09/2018 - 17:14

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

What you're gaining in being strong enough to say no is priceless and far outweighs your recent loss. Keep up the fight mate... You're positive outlook keeps people like me going too. Nice one.

Posted on:
Sat, 15/09/2018 - 14:31

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Lost about a £100 on fobt today sick as anything when will it all end. Life’s not good 

Posted on:
Sat, 15/09/2018 - 15:54

A 9

Joined:
2018-08-31

Mate I'n not gonna preach but " WTF " ??  . Life's not good because you won't stop gambling and the only way this will end is when you decide to stop and stay stopped , it's the " Repeat cycle " we all go through till the penny drops . 

I wish you well buddy but it has to end and your the only one that can make it happen ?. 

Look after yourself mate :))  

Posted on:
Sat, 15/09/2018 - 16:00

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Wtf exactly mate. Not a lot more I can see

Posted on:
Sat, 15/09/2018 - 16:52

A 9

Joined:
2018-08-31

It's positive that you keep coming back and being honest mate that takes some guts but I think everyone just want's to see you draw that line and begin to get well again , I gambled for about 40 yrs so I know how it keeps promising you the world to pull you back in Boro but the inly thing I can pass on after those 40 yrs wasted is that it just doesn't change , the big win never comes and it really wouldn't matter if it did as you and I would just up the stakes and gamble more till that was gone . 

GA , therapy , church , at least hand over all control  ?? I don't know mate but you need to give something else a try before it's too late .  :(( 

Posted on:
Sat, 15/09/2018 - 17:54

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Mate so sorry to hear about the loss of control. I remember when you mentioned that the fobt should be reduced to £2 max stake asap so they would lose their appeal to you... Until then you need to have something in place to protect you from their lure... They are never going to pay you back the heaps of money youve given them... They have been programmed to just take. That's it. Bar yourself from every bookie in your locality if you have to. Be humble, admit defeat and take protective steps like the one highlighted above... You seem like a good bloke... I just want to you to stay well and keep on top of this that's all. I'm not preaching or anything. Do whatever you can do to stay out of the clutches of those shops and their machines. You can do this. Stay strong... Yes it was only a hundred quid but still another loss of control and that's the thing that matters. Please take back control and put something in place to stay out of those bookies. You're better than them and what they offer.

Posted on:
Sat, 15/09/2018 - 22:07

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

I hope you're ok and have found some resilience from somewhere mate. Stay strong. Please don't be too hard on yourself about what happened. Just go again and rack up those GF free days. Every GF day will be like an antidote to this horrible **** we have all got ourselves involved in.

Posted on:
Thu, 04/10/2018 - 20:13

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

What can I say still gambling and losing plenty. Nothing changes

Posted on:
Thu, 04/10/2018 - 21:44

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Mate... I was wondering about you during this time.

Nothing changes because you keep telling yourself that nothing will change. Please get yourself to a GA group in your area and learn from the people there that change is waiting for you if you accept it and also accept that you are powerless to gambling in your current state. There is a path you can follow which will set you apart from gambling but you've just got to admit it's more powerful than you and you will never win. Ever. 

Go to a meeting. Please.

Gambling has beaten us all mate that's why we are here. Stop going back for more punishment and use that time to develop the armour you need to protect yourself from it when it comes calling. Life is too short for all this heartache man.

Posted on:
Sat, 06/10/2018 - 09:28

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

I have had counciling before signalman I don’t think a ga meeting would do any good. Only one person that can help me and that is myself. Not going to have a bet today had a look at the runners but me gambling on horses leads me to putting money in the fobt. I still have my card details on my Apple Pay that’s why I was able to lose £300 I have tried to delete card it will let me do it but the details are stored in phone so all I have to do is go in Apple Pay and it’s easy to put card back on. Needs to make changes in my life because it is really getting me down 

Posted on:
Sat, 06/10/2018 - 12:57

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

It makes me sad to hear how down you are. I was so down (as you know) but the GA meetings gave me hope, a new outlook and a new lease of life. Life is getting better for me every day and it can for you.

I know you want to help yourself but have you considered that a GA meeting is a huge step in finally helping yourself? There are a million reasons not to go Boro and only a few reasons to go to one Boro but here's a few... Gambling has you licked and you're in a bad place and you need support and all this punishment needs to stop. Please don't let pride stop you from going.

Anyway whatever you do good luck and get on top of this.

Posted on:
Sat, 06/10/2018 - 16:45

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

Boro wrote:

I have had counciling before signalman I don’t think a ga meeting would do any good. Only one person that can help me and that is myself. Not going to have a bet today had a look at the runners but me gambling on horses leads me to putting money in the fobt. I still have my card details on my Apple Pay that’s why I was able to lose £300 I have tried to delete card it will let me do it but the details are stored in phone so all I have to do is go in Apple Pay and it’s easy to put card back on. Needs to make changes in my life because it is really getting me down 

Remove your card from the phone in settings. Cut up the card and order a new one. When it arrives scratch off the CVC code at the back without looking at it. Good luck.

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