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Posted on:
Mon, 17/11/2014 - 21:07

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

131 days gamble free

Cheers simon appreciate your comments. I pretty much know the odds are i will gamble again in the future but at the moment i cant control it and probably never will. Plus i had me daughter this morning because she was ill and her mam was at work. She said daddy i love you and you cant put a price on that just make me realise what gambling has done to me bye not being with her all the time. Simon they are a lot of people who have not got a clue about a gambling addiction they think you can just stop which is impossible. But really pleased your doing well mate

 

Posted on:
Mon, 17/11/2014 - 21:25

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Graeme,

Agree with you that most people think you can just stop, they have no idea what it is like to be addicted to gambling.

It's with us all the time, even when we don't think about it something somewhere along the day, reminds us of what we have done, or the addiction is gently trying to get us to just have a little bet, because we have spare cash so it won't hurt, I don't think I will ever be able to trust myself completely as far as gambling goes, 

Very well done on 131 days of winning, I know how hard this recovery is at times.

Take care

Suzanne xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 20/11/2014 - 20:47

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

134 days gamble

Posted on:
Fri, 21/11/2014 - 20:11

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

135 days gamble free and going strong

Posted on:
Fri, 21/11/2014 - 21:05

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Well done graeme 

135,days under your belt and going strong fantastic keep going and keep winning.

Suzanne xx

Posted on:
Thu, 27/11/2014 - 17:38

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

141 days gamble free

Posted on:
Tue, 02/12/2014 - 18:19

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

146 days gamble free things still going really well. I dont have to worry about the debt because i can easily afford it know which is making me happier. Still having problems with the ex but my prioty is not going back to where i was 146 days  just could not take it again.

Posted on:
Tue, 02/12/2014 - 20:51

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme,

What a lovely strong post to read you are doing just fine, but keep your guard tightly secured and up, because when we have available cash, the addiction comes to us in many different disguises, it well beats us on deception, 

Stay strong and focused  and very well done on 146 days.

Suzanne xx

Posted on:
Sun, 07/12/2014 - 21:25

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well I have gambled and ****** my life up again as well as me mams only 225 but I keep putting everybody through hell including myself why do the***** do I do it

Posted on:
Sun, 07/12/2014 - 23:46

Typicalme

Joined:
2012-03-30

Hi mate just been reading through some of your diary. I guess you must be feeling pretty low right now but look at everything you achieved in the bigger picture to get to where you are now. Accept this as a blip and get back on with things tomorrow! tomorrow is a new day and an opportunity to embrace recovery again and move forward. I imagine you will want to chase the losses but remember how you feel now and get those barriers in place to start again! 

Posted on:
Mon, 08/12/2014 - 09:18

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi graeme .

Sorry to read you have blipped, but as Stoneroses says, look at the bigger picture, because you have come so far on your recovery.

You know what to do pick yourself up,and carry on forget what you have just lost, it's gone.

Don't let this blip ruin the bigger picture and please don't be too hard on yourself, you will be even stronger now.

Take care and stay safe. Sending you a big positive hug ((((((G))))))!!!

Suzanne xx

Posted on:
Mon, 08/12/2014 - 10:10

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Its not the money lost because i have lost thousands at a time. The 225 feels like thousands because i have gambled again but i have excepted that the money has gone. If me mam and brother hadnt taken laptop off me it would have been more i had deposited another 300 pound into me online account when me brother pulled plug out of internet connection but i have now since withdrawn money and put it back into my bank account. Me mam is 64 and she cant cope with this at her age and a love her to bits but i put her through all of this ****

 

Cheers suzanne and stoneroses for your support really appreciate it

Posted on:
Mon, 08/12/2014 - 10:15

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

 

 

Hi boro,

I understand what you are saying it's the fact you have gambled again, but you will be stronger now. Use this new wisdom, remember we are in recovery, and be kind to yourself, stay strong.

Suzannexx

 

Posted on:
Tue, 09/12/2014 - 18:18

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Things ok £225 is not the end of the world

 

cheers for your continued support suzanne x

Posted on:
Wed, 10/12/2014 - 00:19

Typicalme

Joined:
2012-03-30

Worrying is like a rockin chair gives you something to do but gets you nowhere :-) 

Keep positive and use it as motivation to give recovery another go! I relapsed more this year than my team Liverpool have played badly this season but i'm on the road to recovery now and that's all that matters :-)

Posted on:
Thu, 11/12/2014 - 19:17

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Had a few urges to gamble today but they are things in place to stop me. Luckily i have got all the  kids xmas presents but if i gamble again i will spoil my xmas plus me mams

Liverpool are **** this season stoneroses not a hope in hell in finishing in top 4 but you are right about the rocking chair

Posted on:
Thu, 11/12/2014 - 19:32

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme,

Good to read you are back  on track,

Stay strong and stay focused.

Suzanne xx

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 24/12/2014 - 10:10

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hey Graeme,

You have not posted for a while, I hope you are staying strong and safe.

Just want to wish you and your family a very merry Xmas

Take care 

Suzanne xx

 

Posted on:
Wed, 24/12/2014 - 17:25

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Yeah not posted for a while, had nothing to say really. Still come on here most days and read which helps a lot  but not gambled since the last time.

Happy christmas to you and your family suzanne x

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 08:51

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme 

Been over a week since you posted, I hope you had a good new year, and this year will be sooo much better than last year as long as we don't gamble.

Take care 

Suzanne xx

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 13:32

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Yeah im fine suzanne things are pretty good. Got a letter off hsbc bank saying because they worded my loan wrong they will pay 2 years interest back to me which was 1175 which has put my overdraft down to only 200 this letter was a great xmas box. Somebody looking down on me saying he deserve another chance.I wont be posting as much suzanne

 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 15:06

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme,

Thanks for getting back, and am pleased about  interest being returned, yes someone was looking down on you lol. 

A good start to a new year.

I understand you not updating your diary much now, but every so often I will push you to the front lol, to see how you are doing.

Take care,

Suzanne xx

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 06/04/2015 - 19:54

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Debt has come down to £4000 plus im out me overdraft. I am having the odd bet on horses but not touched roulette for a longtime plus i have a new woman in my life who keeping me occupied so don,t think about gambling as much. But things going really well at the minute.

Posted on:
Wed, 12/08/2015 - 16:59

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well had a bad day playing roulette today just totally got out of hand lost a grand in no time. Feel angry with myself because life really good at the moment. I got a loan from the bank for £1000 could not take being in my overdraft again after it taken so long to get out of it. Learned my lesson blocks in place to stop me playing roulette cant lose the no girlfriend in my life. I just don,t understand why im so addicted to roulette its caused me more heartache than anything but i still get random urges to play it.

Posted on:
Thu, 13/08/2015 - 08:25

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme, sorry to read you are still in the grip of those roulettes.

Only you can stop this, and it really has to start with you really wanting 100% to,

Sending you strong and determined thoughts, to start a lifetime journey, that will change your life, recovery.

Take care and be safe.

Suzanne xx

 

Posted on:
Thu, 13/08/2015 - 16:52

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Glad you have replied, yea am still abstaining and maintaining, but it's not easy at times, lol

One thing I will say, I have learnt so much about myself, and this horrible addiction, I know it will always lie deep inside me, I know I will never be able to trust myself with any of the triangle closed, it's tough, but it's worth every day of it, because I have won every day, and not the money, My sanity lol.

You can do this friend, you have come back, I know you can and will do this.

Break that triangle, it's impossible then to play, even when the urges come, and that addiction will hate that. 

Take care and get safe.

Suzanne xxx

 

Posted on:
Thu, 13/08/2015 - 22:18

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Life's good and I feel like I'm going to blow the best thing that's every happened to me which is the new girlfriend in my life if I don't stop playing roulette. I can't tell her what I have done she new I had a gambling problem when we got together

Posted on:
Fri, 14/08/2015 - 19:48

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

The question I'm mulling over do I tell the girlfriend what I have done. Tell her and I can lose her but I'm an honest person apart from gambling really getting me down

Posted on:
Sat, 15/08/2015 - 06:49

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme,

I can't give you any answers, but I can read deceiving your Girlfriend is slowly eating you away, and making you miserable, the addiction thrives on negativity.

Sending you strong thoughts to make the right choices for you.

Take care and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

Posted on:
Sat, 15/08/2015 - 11:05

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

I told her Suzanne she was very nice and said she will help me through it. She said she can deal with things as long as I'm honest

Posted on:
Mon, 25/01/2016 - 23:08

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well I'm still gambling but not losing the amount I did before. The question is though I have got everything I want a good girlfriend who will do anything for me money in bank a little debt but me account in plus instead of minus. Why put this at risk? I still read the forum most days and you see people going for ages without a bet then bang they have a relapse. I never be able to stop fully it's just managing it. I only have 1 online account which I can't play roulette on. Which is my main problem

Posted on:
Tue, 26/01/2016 - 09:06

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme,

You won't be able to stop until you let it all go, why do you still have an online account, ?  as you say thst is the main problem.

You can stop fully, if you really want to my friend, but to do this you have to want recovery 100% and close every single gap.

A CG cannot manage controlled gambling, it just keeps feeding the addiction, I know you know all this, time to ask yourself is managing gambling worth risking all the real things in my life, only you can answer that one, but I think you already have by saying at the end of your post, this is my main problem.

You have abstained and maintained before, you can do this again, you just have to really want this more than anything  else.

Wish you all the best as always and I do hope you do make some important changes for you, 

Take care and maybe time to keep your diary up to date with your thoughts, just a suggestion my friend.

Suzanne xxx

Posted on:
Thu, 28/01/2016 - 16:17

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well gone and lost £80 on horses might not seem much but it hurt me More than when I have lost thousands. All these losses on the horses are mounting up and it can't continue plus can't put new girlfriend through what I put the last one through. Lost 200 or 300 last 2 weeks that's about a third off my months pay. So silly but nevermind it's only money 

Posted on:
Thu, 28/01/2016 - 16:40

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Graeme, yes that bit is only money, but it's our health mentally, emotionally and physically that becomes a big issue, yes totally stupid to keep losing money, but totally devastating and very sad when it hits us health wise, 

You are stronger than this hideous addiction, just let it all go, and daft as it might sound, be kind to you.and that does start with honesty to yourself, and then getting support and help, You can do this if you really want to.

Have to add my friend, well done on your honesty, on your diary, so that just proves you are stronger than you think, 

You are bigger and wiser than this hideous addiction, keep that in mind.

Take care and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

 

Posted on:
Thu, 28/01/2016 - 19:29

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Thanks for responding my friend, your girlfriend understands somewhat, that's great she is supporting you, this addiction can thrive on that one, it tells you it's ok, but it's not, sending you strong and positive thoughts to now kick this addiction where it belongs in the gutter dear Graeme, in the gutter, that's where it belongs, you deserve soo much more than these hideous thoughts, 

Take care my friend and do everything you can now do to keep safe and sound.

Suzannne xxx

Posted on:
Mon, 01/02/2016 - 08:56

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

 

 

Well not gambled since losing the money last Thursday. But the ex girlfriend has suddenly decided to ask me to move back in. We have been split up for last 5 years I'm now in a happy relationship which I have been for last 10 month. But the ex coming out with this out the blue has put more pressure on me which I can do without

 

Posted on:
Mon, 01/02/2016 - 09:00

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Can understand that, keep strong and make the right choice for you, don't let this put you in a vulnerable spot, you must think of yourself at this raw time.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Posted on:
Sat, 06/02/2016 - 16:12

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

No gambling thoughts but ex putting pressure on me to leave current girlfriend to go back with her. She is now using kids which is emotional blackmail 

Posted on:
Tue, 09/02/2016 - 20:20

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Do what you want to do Graeme, if you do something that in your heart you don't really want to do, it will have a profound negative affect on your recovery, and then everyone around will be even more hurt:))

Keep strong and look after you

Suzanne xxx

Posted on:
Wed, 02/03/2016 - 21:54

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well gone and blown 1700 on roulette in betting shop which I'm bared from. Confessed to girlfriend just feel so guilty when will it ever end. 

Posted on:
Thu, 03/03/2016 - 20:26

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi Boro,

Sorry to hear that. I lost £1700 last week on fobt and virtual racing. I know how that feels. I just read your diary. You can stop again. You were doing so well.

Stay positive mate.
Toad.

Posted on:
Fri, 04/03/2016 - 08:46

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Yeah mate don't feel good at all. Losing £1700 means I'm £1700 into me overdraft I have a sharesave which I have had to cancel which had £400 in. Plus girlfriend going to give me £500 just to bring it down a bit. But just feel like I can't keep doing this. It's like history repeating itself over and over again. I'm sick of it and letting people down over and over again.

Posted on:
Fri, 04/03/2016 - 10:30

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Boro

​fella every time I accepted loss through taking money from another source other than earning it through pure graft I believe I was enabling addiction to continue dominating my life.today I recognise that gambling in any form will produce loss.my advice hand over your finances to your girlfriend, break the triangle, ree self exclude, do everything in your power to take control if not the cycle will repeat itself.having control for me doesn't mean you have to be inn control because we are powerless in addictions presence.nothing changes if nothing changes my friend.duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Fri, 04/03/2016 - 20:51

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

The thing is Duncan I have had relapse after relapse. I have worked every hour possible to get myself above water and when I do I always end up blowing it. I'm tired of doing the same thing working all the time to clear gambling debts. I am bared out of the betting shop I went in plus my girlfriend does have control of my finances but when we went to petrol station she forgot to ask me for card back. The rest you know I went on a gambling binge. But onwards and upwards

Posted on:
Sun, 06/03/2016 - 13:16

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Still struggling to come to terms with what I have done again. But them fobt should not be aloud in betting shops and the staff behind the counter should stop you from gambling after putting £500 in. When somebody is going backwards and forwards to the counter putting more and more on machine. It's not right people being aloud to go stupid on these machines. 

Posted on:
Mon, 07/03/2016 - 09:26

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Well a start of a new week just hope I don't put myself threw what I did last week again. Don't think I can take it again. Roulette is just a waste of time

Posted on:
Mon, 07/03/2016 - 19:43

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

It sure is a waste of time Graeme, I know you will do this, because you keep coming back:)))

Sending you strong and positive thoughts as always.

Suzanne xxx

Posted on:
Tue, 08/03/2016 - 17:26

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Starting to feel a bit better. One things for certain I can't play roulette ever ever again. A mugs game 

Posted on:
Wed, 09/03/2016 - 16:21

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Good to see you feeling better

OAUs my friend

Suzanne xxx

Posted on:
Wed, 09/03/2016 - 17:37

Boro

Joined:
2012-07-01

Cheers Suzanne I appreciate it x

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