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When all else has failed, is it time to think about giving up watching sport?

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 13/03/2019 - 12:57

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

I see time and time again a broken person coming on this website to advise that their life is uncontrollable and in ruins as a result of gambling and that they'd do anything to stop and prove their sincerity to their loved ones. However when it comes to the point of giving up watching all sport and reinvest the wasted time with their family, only a minor number, and I would say less than 5%, would be willing to do so. Arguments tending to be "I love sport", "get real it would be impossible to do so", "what would I possibly talk about with my mates", "it would change my personality, and I'd become boring", and even "what about my weekly football card" etc, etc.
How can anyone with the above attitude truly believe that they can make a change without doing everything they possibly can to do so, even if meaning giving up what they feel is their only true love in their life i.e "sport"?
Is it a transition process, by example, only when you've lost everything realisation finally hits home, or just that some are unprepared to do what needs to be done as a result of their own selfishness and not truly wishing to give up their entry to the gambling world?

Posted on:
Wed, 13/03/2019 - 16:36

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

If what you say is correct (that less than 5% are willing to give up watching sport to help in their recovery), then that should suggest to you that it isn’t just as easy as “giving up sport” as you say. 

For a lot of people (myself included), sport has always played a big part in their lives. Often before a single £1 has even been placed. My whole life has been set up around sport. The friends I’ve made over the years, since I was 5. My dad taking me to my first football game when I was less than 18 months old. The qualifications I gained at both college and university (sports courses). The job I currently do (I work within a sporting enviroment). So to give up watching/taking interest in sport altogether would require and a massive lifestyle change. 

In my opinion, I don’t think that giving up watching sport altogether would help these type of people in the long run. People like myself need to learn how to love sport again for what we orginially fell in love with in the first place. I feel like I’m beginning to do that. 

Admittedly I’ve cut down on the amount of sport I now watch because I only watch things that genuinely interest me. If I’m at home on a Monday night, I won’t switch over to BT Sport to watch Leipzig v Hannover. I’ll watch something else instead. I’ve worked out that watching those type of events will possibly tempt me into placing a bet to make the game more interesting. The only sport I watch these days are the things that genuinely interest me for what it is. 

I think if I tried to give up watching sport, I would succeed for a few months maybe, but then I’d succumb to it again eventually because it’s what my hobbies/interests have been based around all my life. It’s just very unfortunate that gambling has grown bigger and bigger within sport.

My big hope for the future is that new laws/regulations come into play whereby Sports betting/gambling in general gets limited in this country because it can’t keep growing and expanding at the rate that it’s going. You would think/hope that something would give in the future.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/03/2019 - 17:39

andyrr

Joined:
2014-06-18

I agree with Dan.  I have loved sport since I was 8.  I only started gambling at 24 so I've had more time in my life enjoying sports without any thought of betting.  I am now able to enjoy sports for what they are and enjoy the competition, the tactics and the beauty of a variety of sports.  Maybe that's something you can't do.  I realise that this might work for you but I don't think you should assume that everyone should give up watching something that is truly enjoyable for them and doesn't have to be related to gambling.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/03/2019 - 20:19

A 9

Joined:
2018-08-31

In my opinion only the individual knows " If or when " there ready to watch sport again after a Gambling meltdown , I stayed away from watching for many months but gradually over the last 3yrs it's back on the menu when the mood takes . 

It's something that's always going to be around so I feel the need to get used to it again , I did consider asking the powers that be to remove everything from the telly and the high street but as yet I've not had a reply , so I guess it's back to me looking after myself again living in the real world :)) . 

On a more positive note did anyone see the gambling ad on ch5 the other night ? , It had a guy who made the excuse of making a cuppa for his mrs and went in the kitchen to look at betting in play on some match on his phone , he's then transported to the pitchside where the football pundit's ( much to my suprise ) began questioning him about " Chasing his bet's " with another ? and went on to ask if his wife new what he was doing in the kitchen instead of making the tea ? . 

Quite refreshing actually ( the advert not the tea ) :)) .

Night guy's :)   

Posted on:
Wed, 13/03/2019 - 21:27

Tomso

Joined:
2012-02-26

This conversation simply doesn’t relate to me. I don’t have a roulette addiction because I play and watch sport. My commitment to not playing roulette is no less than anyone else on this forum whether I watch football or not.

Life is tough enough. I enjoy watching sport. It provides no negatives for me whatsoever.

For me, do more of what you enjoy as long as it’s not unhealthy and/or has a negative impact on your emotional well being.

It goes without saying if you lose money every time you watch sport then you need to stop watching sport. 

Tomso

Posted on:
Wed, 13/03/2019 - 22:18

K2

Joined:
2018-09-24

I don’t think ALN was talking about playing sport.

It’s the endless watching of meaningless sport accompanied by gambling or at the very least a bombardment of gambling adverts.

A couple of things come to mind. I’m happy to change both my habits and friends if it guarantees a lifetime free of gambling.

And secondly, I can’t get the time back that I’ve wasted, but know for certain that I’ll try and make amends in my own small way. That means spending more time with my family and communicating with them properly.

I get a damm site more pleasure going for a 3 hour walk with my wife than yet another footie match or 20/20 cricket match.

I’m not utterly dogmatic about it, I’ll still go the match, but that mainly as my son wants to go. The minute he stops then I’m pretty sure I will too.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 08:10

holycrosser

Joined:
2019-03-12

 

I’ve thought this would help tbh, it may, it’s a trigger at times for me but it’s been a huge part of my life .Tricky one

 

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 19:45

Gem1209

Joined:
2017-08-14

People should be willing to do anything if it helps their recovery.

But to say people aren’t taking their recovery seriously because they’re watching sport is a bit out there.  The post comes across as almost like you’re trying to belittle people? 

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 20:37

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

It's about making amends. Walking away from something that is irrelevant and investing more time, important time, with family and friends.
Some will get it, others will not.

Ask a partner whose life has been destroyed time and time again by their partners gambling who still see their partner each weekend sat hours on end watching the same sport, and unprepared to change, how they feel. Ask them what emotions they go through and whether they feel that they have any trust or more importantly control in their lives.

In turn the children often become accustomed to this weekly event, indoctrinated, and if unlucky, in time destined to repeat the sins of their father/mother.

It's not about taking a recovery seriously but looking at the wider/fuller picture, and questioning yourself. I guess challenging everyone to do something more productive and for themselves.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 20:58

Gem1209

Joined:
2017-08-14

You seem to think families can’t enjoy sport together?  This might be an issue for you but you seem unable to understand you’re not everyone. Everyone has different ways and their way is no more superior than yours. Do other peoples opinions matter aln? Or do you only value your own? It would seem anyone who disagrees with you gets a sarcastic comment from yourself or a don’t post on my page again comment?

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 21:12

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

Gem1209, I'm sad that you don't get it.

:-(

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 21:19

Lethe

Joined:
2016-12-10

I get what you're saying, ALN. Mr L has actually taken up watching UK footie - not random international matches  - along with assorted box sets since giving up gambling but it's downtime for him. He's not obsessive over it and it wasn't his poison of choice in his gambling days. That was FOBT and  (I believe) online roulette but if studying form and players and pitch condition and whatever other factors had been an issue I wouldn't be comfortable with it in exactly the same way there's no way he'd be dropping into the local bookies for 'a coffee' with my blessing.

I think it's down to individual triggers. If sports or inplay betting has been a problem area in the past I very much think it's best to stick safely to the evening highlights or next day match reports. If watching as a relaxation replaces other toxic gambling behaviours without triggering a desire to bet I think it's acceptable.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 21:36

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

Thanks Lethe.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 21:36

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

:-)

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 21:43

Tomso

Joined:
2012-02-26

ALN,

I hope you don’t mind me commenting on this debate as it’s not specifically your diary.

I have 3 kids. I take them to their various clubs, football training, dance classes etc six days per week. On some days I take my daughter to dancing come home and collect my son and go back out to his football. I stay for the full hour duration of each event. The only day I don’t have a commitment is a Monday night. I enjoy watching Monday night football and relaxing in front of the TV.

Tues, Wed, Thurs I have a 10 minute turnaround from getting in from work to getting back in the car for commute to clubs. I go without dinner on these nights. Sat morn is swimming at 9, athletics at 11 and we have season tickets for football in the afternoon. 

Do you seriously think that I don’t give enough time to my family because I watch sport?

Tomso

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 22:04

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

Tomso, I'm not sure why everyone is misinterpreting this thread. Just like you I spend a significant amount of time with my kids, Thursday night Hockey training, Saturday band practice, Gym and Athletics. It's great family time and for me it's the enjoyable part of participating and watching your kids improve in themselves.

I can even appreciate your downtime and relaxation in picking up a game on an evening for the right reason of course.

The thread was purely in respect of those who've lost there mind and damaged their relationships with significant amounts of debt and their backside is now touching the floor. Something has to change. Remember the definition of madness is doing the same thing time and time again and expecting a different result. In this respect I'm saying it's a slap in your partner's face, and to be clear I don't mean yours, if you still continue to sit in front of the TV all weekend, as well as most nights, watching what's destroyed your life. Something needs to change, and it's time to look towards a more productive life.
In respect of kids, I never had a chance myself, Saturday ITV Seven, and Football Coupons from a very early age. I'll fight tooth and nail not to put my own kids through this.

I have to admit I've got quite bitter today with the negative comments thrown in my direction, such things as preaching and bullying my way forward, to which I've reacted defensively. Completely an inaccurate assessment believe me.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 22:12

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Tomso wrote:

ALN,

I hope you don’t mind me commenting on this debate as it’s not specifically your diary.

I have 3 kids. I take them to their various clubs, football training, dance classes etc six days per week. On some days I take my daughter to dancing come home and collect my son and go back out to his football. I stay for the full hour duration of each event. The only day I don’t have a commitment is a Monday night. I enjoy watching Monday night football and relaxing in front of the TV.

Tues, Wed, Thurs I have a 10 minute turnaround from getting in from work to getting back in the car for commute to clubs. I go without dinner on these nights. Sat morn is swimming at 9, athletics at 11 and we have season tickets for football in the afternoon. 

Do you seriously think that I don’t give enough time to my family because I watch sport?

Tomso

Crikey, it’s tired me out just reading that, Tomso! Credit to you, your kids are very lucky to have such a commited and loving father.... (unless your kids season tickets are for someone like Yeovil Town....then that would border on cruelty...)

  :) ..... (Joke!) :)

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 22:44

Tomso

Joined:
2012-02-26

Based on what you say the title of this post probably doesn’t do your idea justice. If your target audience is people facing the most severe consequences of gambling addiction as compared to the broad and varied general population on the forum then so be it.

My issue is that you take your ideas to members diaries rather than post your ideas on your diary welcoming others opinions.

I’d hate to think that if some members had a relapse you’d present yourself on their diary with a big “told you so” “ this wouldn’t have happened if you only stopped watching sport”. The statistics available to us suggest that 97% of CG will not reach a full year GF without relapse. Relapses happen for a full host of different reasons. Watching sport may well be one of those reasons.

As for the stick you’ve taken. I dont want to be the cause of that. Nobody deserves to be made to feel bad on here. Life is tough enough however, I keep reading diaries and your comments appear to cause aggravation. You are a committed member and you could do a lot of good on here.

I apologise for some of my comments which probably over stepped the mark. Some comments not so much.

Tomso

Posted on:
Thu, 14/03/2019 - 22:53

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

ALN wrote:
I have to admit I've got quite bitter today with the negative comments thrown in my direction, such things as preaching and bullying my way forward, to which I've reacted defensively. Completely an inaccurate assessment believe me.

Maybe have a look @ the Four Agreements Al...The book is very heavy going but the principles are empowering.  

If I look @ the number 6 written on the floor & you are standing opposite me looking @ the same writing...Am I wrong because you can see a 9?

I spent a lot of my early recovery trying to fix everyone around me but it was pointed out that all this did was make me too busy to look @ myself & what inevitably needed fixing there...Once I accepted how hard it was to change me, I realised trying to change others is futile.  

Share your experience, strength & hope because you want to share it not because you want people to think you are right.

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 07:03

ALN

Joined:
2018-08-25

I've finally realised given the last 2 posts that this forum is a joke, especially given the self righteous claptrap from those who propose they know it all as they have time under their belt.
This thread was not written to prove my own view to be correct but to generate thoughts that may help one or two in their own recoveries. However the gambling traits of others and those self righteous ones believe it's appropriate to question the reasons raised as it doesn't suit their own message or experience.
Thanks to Gem1209, ODAAT (these 2 in particular self righteous posters), Tomso, A9, and Determined Dan, I'm today finished with this forum. I believe that I've helped many through my time on here and probably would have helped many in the future, but I can no longer play along with the hierarchy of this board. Time to look at yourselves first, especially those who advise their gambling free but still gamble.
Maybe one day, when they're on their arxe they may finally get it.
By way of further point of interest, those still with gambling interests, Determined Dan, and A9, tried to obtain sympathy from this board by advising following a spat they were no longer going to post on this board, but when this didn't arrive, a few days later they were back. Self pity, character defects, absolutely comical.

I still don't understand why these people took this so personally and only they know the reasons, maybe they're trying to justify something, I don't know and don't really care.
I guess they'll also be the first ones to post on here, once again misinterpreting my post, and decrying me.

Good luck to all others.

I'm ALN and I haven't gambled for 212days, and when I say gambled I mean not a thing!

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 07:39

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

I’m sorry that you feel that way, ALN. 

However, the last comment you have just made sums up what I orginally thought.... it sounds like you’re a tad jealous/envious about others on here approaching recovery in a different, less drastic way to your own. 

Maybe one day, some of us will have to approach your methods of recovery. Me personally, I’m under no illusions about my own problem gambling. I know it’s there and I am doing what is right for ME in my recovery. I’ve put all my relevant blocks in place. In no way whatsoever am I advertising my methods. I am merely pointing out what is working for me. 

If I want to buy a lottery ticket, then I will do. Because I know that isn’t a trigger for me. 

In terms of your whole ‘what counts as gamble free’, I’m sorry but you’re going way over the top with it all. It feels like you’re playing in some sort of a competition of who can achieve the highest GF days and are accusing some of us of cheating? I could easily lie on here and say I don’t buy lottery tickets or partake in competitions that are set up at work, but what would be the point of that? I’m here to give an honest account of where I was and where I am now. 

The only question I have to ask myself is, am I recovering? The answer is ‘yes’.

If you find it hard to congratulate me (or others) on their recovery because it’s not ‘gamble free’ in respect of what the word ‘gamble’ means in the dictionary, then that’s fine. I don’t mind. But I think you should maybe acknowledge progress that’s been made by these people. If then, and only then, do relapses keep occuring, then maybe it would be time to advise them on what works for you.

As you so often say, ‘you can lead a horse to water....’ that’s very true. You’ve done your bit by offering suggestions to people that have worked for you. But I think some people think you are pushing/forcing your own methods onto others and claiming that they’re not taking their recoveries seriously. That does hurt people like myself. Your advice on here is priceless to some people. Even if you only manage to help 1 person out of 1000, you’ve done something worthwhile.

Best of luck in the future ALN. We’ve not always agreed with things but I have respect for you in how far you’ve come and what you’ve achieved. 

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 08:14

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Once you get some recovery under your belt ALN you will understand what I have written & see that I was coming from a place of love!

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 08:50

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

DeterminedDan wrote:

Tomso wrote:

ALN,

I hope you don’t mind me commenting on this debate as it’s not specifically your diary.

I have 3 kids. I take them to their various clubs, football training, dance classes etc six days per week. On some days I take my daughter to dancing come home and collect my son and go back out to his football. I stay for the full hour duration of each event. The only day I don’t have a commitment is a Monday night. I enjoy watching Monday night football and relaxing in front of the TV.

Tues, Wed, Thurs I have a 10 minute turnaround from getting in from work to getting back in the car for commute to clubs. I go without dinner on these nights. Sat morn is swimming at 9, athletics at 11 and we have season tickets for football in the afternoon. 

Do you seriously think that I don’t give enough time to my family because I watch sport?

Tomso

Crikey, it’s tired me out just reading that, Tomso! Credit to you, your kids are very lucky to have such a commited and loving father.... (unless your kids season tickets are for someone like Yeovil Town....then that would border on cruelty...)

  :) ..... (Joke!) :)


Don't Diss Yeovil Town I live near there joking but seriously I have love sport but switch off from watching it as it will never rule but when I have gambled before I've bet on every sport I think it is In our faces too much ie adverts

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 08:50

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

DeterminedDan wrote:

Tomso wrote:

ALN,

I hope you don’t mind me commenting on this debate as it’s not specifically your diary.

I have 3 kids. I take them to their various clubs, football training, dance classes etc six days per week. On some days I take my daughter to dancing come home and collect my son and go back out to his football. I stay for the full hour duration of each event. The only day I don’t have a commitment is a Monday night. I enjoy watching Monday night football and relaxing in front of the TV.

Tues, Wed, Thurs I have a 10 minute turnaround from getting in from work to getting back in the car for commute to clubs. I go without dinner on these nights. Sat morn is swimming at 9, athletics at 11 and we have season tickets for football in the afternoon. 

Do you seriously think that I don’t give enough time to my family because I watch sport?

Tomso

Crikey, it’s tired me out just reading that, Tomso! Credit to you, your kids are very lucky to have such a commited and loving father.... (unless your kids season tickets are for someone like Yeovil Town....then that would border on cruelty...)

  :) ..... (Joke!) :)


Don't Diss Yeovil Town I live near there joking but seriously I have love sport but switch off from watching it as it will never rule but when I have gambled before I've bet on every sport I think it is In our faces too much ie adverts

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 09:51

Redeemed

Joined:
2013-09-22

ALN wrote:
I've finally realised given the last 2 posts that this forum is a joke, especially given the self righteous claptrap from those who propose they know it all as they have time under their belt. This thread was not written to prove my own view to be correct but to generate thoughts that may help one or two in their own recoveries. However the gambling traits of others and those self righteous ones believe it's appropriate to question the reasons raised as it doesn't suit their own message or experience. Thanks to Gem1209, ODAAT (these 2 in particular self righteous posters), Tomso, A9, and Determined Dan, I'm today finished with this forum. I believe that I've helped many through my time on here and probably would have helped many in the future, but I can no longer play along with the hierarchy of this board. Time to look at yourselves first, especially those who advise their gambling free but still gamble. Maybe one day, when they're on their arxe they may finally get it. By way of further point of interest, those still with gambling interests, Determined Dan, and A9, tried to obtain sympathy from this board by advising following a spat they were no longer going to post on this board, but when this didn't arrive, a few days later they were back. Self pity, character defects, absolutely comical. I still don't understand why these people took this so personally and only they know the reasons, maybe they're trying to justify something, I don't know and don't really care. I guess they'll also be the first ones to post on here, once again misinterpreting my post, and decrying me. Good luck to all others. I'm ALN and I haven't gambled for 212days, and when I mean gambled, I mean not a thing!

 

Sorry to hear you feel that way.

I personally find the forum a tremendous help and the wide range of opinions is an important part of that.

Everyone has a different path. Each individual has to find their own way in their own time. 

Well done on 212 days.

 

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 09:53

holycrosser

Joined:
2019-03-12

Think folk are being a wee bit unfair to the OP, I get what he means and it may help some, it’s an interesting point but I just don’t think I could shut out sport completely, I’ve stated on another thread that boredom is my massive trigger and the need to try and win money to pay bills instead of using a budget and be grateful for what’s left.im selfish and an idiot, but I want to put it right now.

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 10:29

A 9

Joined:
2018-08-31

Morning ALN.

 After reading your last post I'm also sorry you feel the way you do .

This forum cover's such a broad spectrum of people , all from different backgrounds and all with their own set of very unique circumstances that brought them here . The one constant here is the desire to stop gambling or maybe even just to gain some control back in what has become an unmanagable life .

I don't think any of us want to see you leave this place of safety as you need it just as much as anyone . As youv'e already been told " You have much to give to the forum " but  for me it is more the way you deliver your message accross to others that may not feel the same as yourself , then that you take so much exception when someone feel's so differently than you do.

Recovery or rediscovery for me is just that , it's finding something that works for me along the journey tweaking it as I go and that doesn't mean I'm any less focused than you or anyone else here but that I'm just choosing a different course . 

I sense rightly or wrongly a lot of anger in your post's ? and if I'm right I totally get that . When I first rocked up here I was an angry man , I didn't consider myself stupid but to end up here in the mess I was in made no sense at all , of course I knew I didn;t have any real problems and wasn't half as bad as everyone else on here ? ( yeah right ) , I was no different than anyone else in truth but as with many of my gambling traits I was angry , I was always right and I certainly didn't like losing .

These day's I look on myself as just another bloke that took a wrong turn and made some bad choices but the difference now is that with " Time under my belt " I can have a good laugh at myself and hope that in the future you'll be able to do the same :)).

I hope you don't go but respect the decision if you do , we don't as you put " Leave for a sympathy vote " but sometimes need to step away for a while to gather our thought's . 

Wishing you well my Compulsive gambling friend :)) 

Regard's 

Alan      

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 11:01

Tomso

Joined:
2012-02-26

This is a debate. Debates are held between people who sit on opposite sides with opposing arguments. Each member can express an opinion then allow for a counter argument and so on. 

ALN clearly feels under attack and that he has been harshly treated and perhaps I have been guilty of that but any actions by me and others are not specific to this thread but rather various threads on personal diaries. I read a comment from ALN not on his diary but on someone’s else’s where he said “ go away and come back when you’ve hit rock bottom and are willing to take this seriously” - my view is that that is an entirely inappropriate comment to make to a potentially vulnerable CG relatively new to the forum. Comments like that are not in line with the basic principles of this supportive forum. A place we come to post when we need help and support.

It would not be my wish for anyone to feel the need to leave this forum. I hope he changes his mind.

I really want to be kind regarding ALN but his last paragraph kills me. If a member states they are one day, one hundred days or a thousand days GF then that is enough for me. I don’t need it pulled apart, I don’t need written proof. If they state it I’ll believe it. Their recovery won’t affect mine.

Tomso

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 11:57

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

ALN wrote:
I've finally realised given the last 2 posts that this forum is a joke, especially given the self righteous claptrap from those who propose they know it all as they have time under their belt. This thread was not written to prove my own view to be correct but to generate thoughts that may help one or two in their own recoveries. However the gambling traits of others and those self righteous ones believe it's appropriate to question the reasons raised as it doesn't suit their own message or experience. Thanks to Gem1209, ODAAT (these 2 in particular self righteous posters), Tomso, A9, and Determined Dan, I'm today finished with this forum. I believe that I've helped many through my time on here and probably would have helped many in the future, but I can no longer play along with the hierarchy of this board. Time to look at yourselves first, especially those who advise their gambling free but still gamble. Maybe one day, when they're on their arxe they may finally get it. By way of further point of interest, those still with gambling interests, Determined Dan, and A9, tried to obtain sympathy from this board by advising following a spat they were no longer going to post on this board, but when this didn't arrive, a few days later they were back. Self pity, character defects, absolutely comical. I still don't understand why these people took this so personally and only they know the reasons, maybe they're trying to justify something, I don't know and don't really care. I guess they'll also be the first ones to post on here, once again misinterpreting my post, and decrying me. Good luck to all others. I'm ALN and I haven't gambled for 212days.

ALN, I have since noticed that you have edited your original post from this morning and have added that I tried to gain “sympathy” by gambling and not getting the attention when saying I was leaving the forum. 

That statement is “absolutely comical” to me. I gave my reasons why I came back. I realise I needed the support from others.

You’re obviously very bitter about my way of recovery so I’ll leave it at that. I tried to be nice and diplomatic but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 14:18

Joydivider

Joined:
2015-03-11

yes the thread has taken on another angle which is ok but I will come back to it later

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 14:24

Gem1209

Joined:
2017-08-14

:-)

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 15:04

A 9

Joined:
2018-08-31

 I think this thread has now gone way of the mark of it's original question from the poster and seems to be drawing many of us myself included into leaving comments that have no bearing on the original so called "Debate " , so in light of this  maybe Admin would consider it's closure so a line can be drawn ? .

Posted on:
Sat, 16/03/2019 - 11:40

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello Forum Users,

We thank everyone for their contributions to our forum platform, and offering their own personal experiences and opinions on recovery, and the struggless, challenges, wins, and times of empowerment that have helped each perosn in their own way towards recovery.

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Maria 

Forum Admin Team

Posted on:
Sat, 16/03/2019 - 13:08

signalman

Joined:
2018-08-31

If you want to watch sport, watch it. If you don't want to watch it anymore, don't watch it.

If you want to have a debate go ahead, if you'd rather not - don't bother.

Just stay healthy, stay happy and stay off a bet.

I think that the first two constitute the third - hence the reason I try to 'stay off a debate' these days, i over-commit to the topic in question, I tend to quickly make it into a battle of wills, this affects my mood and playing to the tune of my character defects dampens my resolve.

Should I be villified for not entering debates? No... Of course not, it's self-preservation on my part. Should I be villified for partaking or starting a debate... Again, no.

We are big boys and girls on here... We are also masters of our own destiny. I don't care what you do to earn your stripes in recovery, just earn them. Just because I don't care what you do doesn't mean i don't care about you... I do - we are comrades, we are recipients of the same devastating pain caused by a punt... We are on this road together and together we are stronger.

If you're going to enter into a debate, not get your own way then leave the forum on the back of that then you're a fool in my book (in the nicest possible way).

Only because you have a chance here, an opportunity... To come together with people who understand how tough it is, we COUNSEL each other, we SUPPORT each other... Imposing our values on each other shouldn't come into it.

If you're leaving a self-help community forum because you're not happy with what you're seeing, why are you letting other people's journey affect your own? What could you do differently in your recovery to remedy this?

Are you in recovery or simply working really hard to abstain from a bet?

When I bet I was an a*se. I don't want either in my life anymore. That's why I entered recovery, it's like working 2 programs for me.

Don't let other people's recovery affect you to the point where you have to leave a platform setup to help you. Don't be an a*se (again, meant in the nicest possible way).

Stay happy, stay healthy, stay off a bet.