Wanted to tap in to give others hope, I have an addictive personality, I knocked my gambling on the head, since doing this I’ve managed to quit smoking weed and knocked my addiction of co codomol on the head after 5 years, I had no professional help either for the weed and opiates, I did this myself (all this went hand in hand with the gambling) in the mist of all this I had a 6 yr relationship breakup and yes I’m still very much broken but I’ve not reverted back to my habit/demon, I am pushing a lot of friends away as I’m still embarrassed about all my addictions, the one friend I told was no support and I broke in front of them. I do feel let down and lonely as I’m a full time carer, despite having family very locally they have nothing to do with me but they do get kicks by discrediting me and causing me grief from time to time. My mental health is not great but I’m plodding on as I’ve my daughter to look after, my family don’t even bother with her. What I’m trying to say is yes life is hard but I’ve not reverted back, I now have no vices apart from smoking cigarettes which is going to be the next thing I quit, I’m proud of myself as last year to now and ongoing has been the hardest time in my life (this week especially)I have nobody in my corner and I’ve still beat this and would never go back, yes I still have urges but I distract myself. I portrayed my self as weak before, now I know I’m not, I’ve still no confidence in who I am but I will build on that. I’m looking forward to rebuilding a future as I save money now, I’m never scraping around for a loaf of bread which is a good feeling. I want to give everyone going through this hope as I never thought I could do this but I have. Despite life being hard and I’m very low most the time and have dark dark days I’m still able to look forward and not backwards, I am now finding out who I really am and taking one day at a time. If I can do this then there is hope for everyone.
Hi Msdespair, you have put a huge amount of hard work in and you so deserve to succeed . You are definitely a strong person and I hope things continue to improve for you and your daughter. Even though I don't know you I'm super proud of you , never give in and good things will come your way may not be riches etc but regaining your confidence, improving your mental health etc are much more life enriching. Take care you are doing great
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.