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Well 27 days since I last gambled should feel good but I don't because I've been a secret gambler for years my family have no I dea  I'm a (responsible ) person intelligent so I should no better but gambling got me big time  I feel sick at the debt I have equimalated feel sick to my stomach and all of a sudden discussions in the family this week are about trust etc when we're watching tv and events what's happened in people's life etc of lately have brought the topic up and family have Sat there and said to me at least we tell truth and have never done anything to hurt each other like dishonesty I felt like screaming I'm a liar I've never felt as guilty in my life I'm on day 27 gf  am I only just feeling bad and thinking everything is relating to me I love my family and this is it for me for good my mindset is only just realizing what I have to loose I no it's awful of me but if I get a way with it and no one finds out I will be a changed person and debts even though there big can be my goal to pay them off a bit each time 

Posted : 11th October 2019 12:26 am

Time is the best healer....

27 days is great. 

Stick with it. 

People are often wracked with emotions in early days... (guilt, shame, depression etc)

- Why did I do it?

- Why didn't I stop sooner?

- I can never undo the damage I have done...

- What's the point?

That is just your addiction trying to make you feel so bad that you pick up again...

You are beating it and the longer you stay clean the better you will feel and the better your life will become...

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."

Leo Tolstoy


Good luck...

Posted : 11th October 2019 9:13 pm

Thank you 

Posted : 12th October 2019 12:11 am


Learn from the past do not live in it.

The recovery program is a healing process.

I needed to abstain from my addictions obsessions and learn to spend more time doing healthy things.

On walking in to the recovery the person I was then is not the person I am today.

I was not an evil person, I was not an bad person.

I was just a very vulnerable person who would escape people life and situations I could not cope with.

The importance of the recovery program is to keep attending and put more time effort in to my recovery than I put in to my unhealthy habits.

Please do not give up on your self.

Live one day at a time.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham





Posted : 22nd October 2019 11:00 am
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