Just for today I will not gamble is a boundary I set up for myself.
The just for today I will not changes to just for today I will doing some thing productive worth while and be an asset to myself and other people.
There is no doubt in my mind that for me the gambling is unhealthy.
The gambling was a complete waste of time and energy.
I would work for weeks months and give all my hard earned money to complete strangers while I and my family went with out.
Being able to give up one unhealthy habit I gained confidence in myself.
I gave up smoking, I gave up getting drunk, I gave up drinking tea and coffee, I gave up self abusing myself in a verbal way.
I gave up being impatient and intolerant with myself.
I gave up getting motivated in anger, I gave up dumping my pains fears and frustrations on to other people.
I gave up wasting time and my energy.
One thing happened for sure for me my steel was going to be tested.
I was going to be tested, and in doing so I would chat for hours on the telephone.
The recovery program was going to help me help myself.
The recovery program was going to do the work for me.
The reluctance to use the telephone was hard to get in to, when vulnerable make the call.
Why would some one go and gamble then use the telephone list.
By talking things out I would understand that having a bet always made things much worse.
Money was never going to give me emotional resolve.
Money was never going to heal my hurt inner child.
There comes a time when we value our self more and more.
We mix with like minded goal setting people.
We become more motivated more excited by challenges in our life.
A healthy recovery is about progress not perfection.
If I do not gamble today I know for sure my life will not get any worse or more painful.
The recovery program was going to help me become more stable, I would learn to write things down.
What are my needs today, what are my wants today, what are my goals today.
Each time I fulfill my needs today I cross them out.
Each time I fulfill my wants today I cross them out.
Each time I fulfill my goals today I cross them out.
My wants today are a way of me rewarding myself for being healthy.
How could I not be able to celebrate with out doing some thing unhealthy.
The recovery program empowers me to be the healthiest person I can be today.
Love and peace to every one.
AKA Dave of Beckenham