I started gambling, mainly playing roulette, in Feb/March 2017. I signed up to gamcare in May 2017 despite having a profit of 4.5k. I did have several scary nights where I was close to losing it all and more. Somehow I managed to claw it back to a profit with reckless behaviour. It was clear something was taking a hold on me even at the time.
Surely you can’t flick a coin 10 times and get heads every time can you? Well in June 2017 it proved you can and I lost 7.5k in one night. My initial devastation was about the money I had lost. It’s probably because my bank balance had never been so healthy to then being in more debt than ever. Looking back it should of been about the control gambling had on me at the time. The urge. The compulsion to just make bets. I would never believe I place £1000 on the roll of a ball. Gambling does this to you.
I haven’t gambled since that day in June 2017. I’ve had two children since then. I earn more money and have savings. I still feel I’m an addicted person of some kind. I’ve just managed to stay away from the websites. Recently I lost a deal with my work that cost me a few thousand. I thought about making up for it in some way but have managed to resist. It’s funny because you always have that voice in your head but feel it’s important to have the right perspective at that moment in time.
To those who are struggling, I would suggest talking to the people close to you. Let people know you are taking ownership of your gambling. Speak to the ones who will be a strong support to you, maybe not the ones who will need to be supported as well. Visit a counsellor.
Put all the physical restrictions in place.
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