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Giving up all of my addictions and obsessions was not a fight but it was a complete surrender.  

 
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

I am a non religious person.

My addictions and obsessions was a form of escape in my fears.

Each pain I suffered in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand or face.

My emotional triggers were pain fears frustrations loneliness and boredom.

While consumed by my addictions and obsessions I was burying and suppressing my feelings and my emotions.

Often the rage in me was my hurt inner child from events in my life that were not healed.

My emotional triggers were going to be along lesson to learn from.

Each break out or going back to my addictions and obsessions was an indicator that I was very vulnerable.

It took em over two years of doing Karate to learn that I feared aggression and confrontation.

My fears aggression and confrontation came from my parents when I was a little child.

I felt that I was responsible for my parents transferring their pains fears and frustration on to each other.

The recovery program was not a fight, it was a complete surrender to be humbled to myself and my own honesty.

The fork in the road is to move from unhealthy reactions towards healthy interactions with people life and situations.

Do I want to be right all of the time and be alone.

Do I want to control other people and have them fear me.

Do I want to transfer my pains my fears and my frustration on to the very people I am suppose to love and care for.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Quote
Posted : 22nd September 2019 2:04 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

A very good title on this one Dave because it is a complete surrender to a born again moment.

Reaching out for help and surrendering to the unknown for it had us totally under its control.  Totally at the mercy of its power. There is no shame in facing that we couldnt handle this alone or do it all ourselves

I believe in time we learn how that unknown power works on us and indeed what it is. Maybe not everything but enough to try and analyse who we are and why we are susceptible to it

Best wishes

This post was modified 4 weeks ago 2 times by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th September 2019 1:33 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posted by: Joydivider

A very good title on this one Dave because it is a complete surrender to a born again moment.

Reaching out for help and surrendering to the unknown for it had us totally under its control.  Totally at the mercy of its power. There is no shame in facing that we couldnt handle this alone or do it all ourselves

I believe in time we learn how that unknown power works on us and indeed what it is. Maybe not everything but enough to try and analyse who we are and why we are susceptible to it

Best wishes

Hi

Yes the person I was fighting the most was myself.

The person I feared facing the most was myself.

The recovery program is about healing and finding a healthy life.

I do not have to get angry today.

I do not have to live in fear today.

I do not have to get frustrated today.

I do not have to lie today.

I do not have to pretend to be some one I am not today.

I am more focused and selfish in healthy ways today.

I am more of a walker than a talker today.

My life today is full of healthy choices and healthy habits today.

Who I am today is not who I was who walked in to recovery 49 years ago.

That is for sure.

The recovery program was a very good investment for my life today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave  of Beckenham

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd October 2019 5:37 pm
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