I never in a million years thought I would see that number on my screen. 823 days … I come out of a trust deed that I had to go into because of the debts I had racked up with gambling next year. It got me thinking about my gambling and how little the urges appear now.
I’ve been the person who sat up in the early hours of the morning on payday blowing every last penny of it. I’ve been the person who would spin and spin until that screen said “deposit unsuccessful”, I’ve been the person who got into so much debt with gambling (over 20K) that they had to enter a trust deed to clear it. I’ve been the person sitting in the middle of the night crying their eyes out, feeling sick and waking up feeling drained and like there is no point in going on and no way out. I’ve been the person who has sat and read through the success stories wishing that I could be that person and wishing I could even go a month without gambling never mind years. I never in a million years thought I’d be writing this. One year until the trust deed has finished, over two years of no gambling, even when money got tight and times got hard.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, please believe me when I say it. If I was to give a word of advice it would be that cold turkey does not work. Get Gamban, get GamStop, speak to someone on this about the phone counselling. Put things in place as cold turkey doesn’t work and it only gets worse!
you can do it and you can be proud of yourself too.
Hi
I get pleasure from people finding healthy ways to live there life now.
Those little the urges or emotional triggers I think of them and how vulnerable I use to be.
In crying my eyes out only indicated the pains in me that were not healed.
On waking up after a night of unhealthy habits was horrible, fearing the world and fearing myself.
On waking up after a night of unhealthy habits was emotionally painful and traumatic to my well being.
I use to hate the success people in the recovery program because I was jealous and felt in myself I could not ever be that healthy no matter how hard I tried.
I use to hate the success people in the recovery program because I left behind and abandoned.
Only once we abstain can the healing process even start.
Using the the phone and counselling was a sign of strength not weakness.
The recovery program works for those people who want to help them self get healed and more healthier.
The recovery program is not about right wrong good bad is it about getting and finding a healthy life where we love our self, can feel proud of our self.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
So thrilled for you on your achievement. That is awesome~
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