I've just about reached 18 months gamble free, so I thought it would be good to add a post in hopes that it may help someone that is currently struggling with their addiction.
I've been where most on this site have been. That dark place where you feel you have nowhere to turn. That morning feeling when you know you've spent every penny you own the night before, and you have to find ways to cover your outstanding bills. You've already borrowed money from every avenue possible and borrowing is no longer an option. Which lie can I come up with this time to keep my son and partner from wanting to go nice places at the weekend? Then you realise it's Christmas later in the month and birthdays are coming up. I could go on but you all know that place. I look back on those days and I wonder how I managed anything else in life! I suppose the truth is I didn't. Gambling came first. It was all I ever thought about... if I wasn't gambling I was thinking about the next time I'd spend my winnings or coming up with excuses to get around my losses. What a stressful way to live life!
For me the end of the line was when my bank refused me a further overdraft extension. I literally had nowhere to turn. I messaged my parents asking for money but they'd already gave me £4k to pay off a credit card a few months before. As we know gifts do not help, they only make things easier for us to gamble. They asked me to come round for a chat and I got an earful as you can imagine. They forced me to tell my partner everything as she deserved to know. I did, and although there were a few nights spent sleeping on the sofa it was the best thing I could have done. If anyone is in the place I spoke about above, please please please tell your loved ones about your problems. You may be extremely worried about the outcome and I know it is different for every person, but the weight off of your shoulders will be immense. Gambling feeds off of lies so to be honest in my experience is the best way to begin. You must to talk to people about it. It makes your gamble free journey so much easier.
Luckily my partner decided to look into gambling addiction and found ways she can help. She looked after my finances for months. She had access to my credit report. I had signed up to Gamstop, spoke to the multi-operator and banned myself from every local bookies. I made gambling as impossible in every way, and my partner made me very well aware that if I were to gamble again then she would leave. I didn't want that. None of us want that. My young son would not want his Dad out on the streets with no money and no one trusting him.
With honesty and the right blocks etc in place I was able to begin my journey and I tell you something, it became so much easier with time. I started to become the person I know I really am. I began to become loving to my family again. I would read with my son. You go outside and you breath in the air and you actually feel like you enjoy life again. I've since saved with my partner and we now have a mortgage on our own house and we're looking to get a new front door next week haha! This is something I would never have considered whilst still gambling.
I suppose to finish you need to know something... there is a way out. You are not stuck in a vicious cycle and you don't have to get that money back. You are winning every day that you DO NOT gamble.
I wish you all the best in your recoveries. Life is better now and it can be for you too 🙂
I really enjoyed reading that and it gave me hope, a lot of what you said is so relatable in terms of the lies and deceit.
I know for certain my partner and family if they new the full extent would not understand like your partner did.
I'm not just saying that , I love her to bits she is not the sort to tolerate things like that its not in her nature.
More so Ive been here before and bottled it so for me the only option is to do it on my own.
Have you thought about adding your own story in the new members forum, or starting your own diary? People will read and lend advice etc. Read other peoples like you have mine and get in contact with Gamcare. You CAN do this.
I’m single and just can’t tell my family so I feel I’ve got nowhere to turn and nobody to look after my finances! I had a really good contracting job where losing money didn’t seem a big deal (that in itself sounds awful) but I’m now on a lower paid job and just carried on so now have so much debt! Transfer credit cards have now all finished their 0% interest so no matter what I pay off the debt hardly shifts! Sorry if this is the wrong post to reply on it’s just I wish I could be like you! Every day I say to myself “today is day 1” but it never lasts!
Thank you so much for your inspirational and reflective post. I'm sure many more forum users will find it useful.
@frankiewx, it's fine for you to reply to others' posts. It looks like you've been finding a lot of posts have resonated with you. Why not head over to the New Member Introductions section and start a topic there, introducing yourself and telling your story? Just click the 'Add topic' button.
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