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Posted on:
Mon, 15/01/2018 - 21:49

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi stephen,
I've just realised you've reached double figures, you'll be on 2 weeks before we know it!
Glad to hear you're managing to get out and about again, setting the dance floor on fire!
Keep up the good work, you're a great support to many x

Posted on:
Tue, 16/01/2018 - 12:58

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Little Miss for your kind words. Going for a swim and a steam this afternoonn than  Salsa tonight. Ha ha, that should be fun, a chance to strut my stuff and look really cool. 

I saw this quote which I liked " The path from dreams to success does exist ~ May you have the vision to find it, the courage to get on with it and the perseverance to follow it.

Take care everybody. One day at a time is all it takes.

 

Posted on:
Tue, 16/01/2018 - 16:38

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Stephen, and thank you so much for your kind words about my 'Can we do something ---> Yes We Can!" post. I'll admit it's become a bit of a 'project' for me, so I'm always tinkering with it!

I'm delighted for you that you're back on your feet (and moving them to the beat), after being 'in the wars' health-wise recently. And ever determined to stay on the good path, and being totally upfront and honest when you've fallen down. As you know, I have full respect for your honesty, it shows your underlying integrity.

I enjoy your posts because you say it how it is and rationalise everything perfectly. For example, your gym membership, £320 a year. Just under £1 a day, but because you use it (many people stop round about this time of the year, the New Years resolutions starting to falter...) it's great value. Especially in the context of how that money could otherwise easily disappear in a p u f f of smoke by gambling it.

Always wishing you well Stephen, here's to a great week ahead my friend.

 

Posted on:
Tue, 16/01/2018 - 23:22

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, great to see those days ticking over. Even though January seems to be never ending for once it'S lovely to see the New Year as an opportunity rather than a burden. Hope you enjoyed throwing some shapes tonight, take care S:) 

Posted on:
Thu, 18/01/2018 - 11:18

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thamkyou Mixer & Sharon for posting on my diary. Hope your both having a good week.

I was struggling with chest pains and breathlessness so yesterday doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and steroid tablets. Don't like taking the steroids but needs must etc. Feeling a little perkier today.

Will be at my English class this afternoon with adult education, it's laid back, no pressure and good fun.

Going to cinema tonight than having a bite to eat in town with my good friend Nina. She has always been quite sympathetic towards my gambling issues. 

Take care everyone, keep going forward a day at a time and lets be forever hopeful.

Posted on:
Thu, 18/01/2018 - 12:28

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi Stephen ... good to see you doing "normal" things, going to the cinema, having a bit to eat, things we dont do enough of while we are gambling, i certianly can relate to this ......  hope your chest pains clear up  and your feeling better soon, as you say keep moving forward together a day at a time ..... wishing you well....

Posted on:
Fri, 19/01/2018 - 00:01

Equinox

Joined:
2017-10-18

Hi Stephen - it all sounds so much better than gambling ... laid back English lessons, a trip to cinema and a bite to eat with a good friend ... on paper, that reads as about a million zillion times more fun than a solo gambling session. 

Take care 

Equinox

Posted on:
Fri, 19/01/2018 - 10:42

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, I second Equinox as in so lovely to hear you enjoying 'nornsl' stuff. I found for days after each relapse a dark cloud would hoover and there was no enjoyment in anything. Hope you feel better soon, have a good weekend S:)

Posted on:
Fri, 19/01/2018 - 23:45

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

Hey Stephen. I agree with the others. It’s great to hear you enjoying the normal stuff like going to the cinema, I hope you have a nice weekend. Scott

 

Posted on:
Sat, 20/01/2018 - 20:36

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thanks for the the posts on my diary which help me to stay focussed.

Chartom ... congratulations on 42 days GF. I believe the weekends are a challenging time for many on the diaries. It's good that you recognise the dangers and have coping mechanisms to deal with them. As you rightly point out, your heading in the right direction and the challenges are all part of the journey.

Equinox ... Congratulations on 47 days GF. Doing things we enjoy are without doubt a "million, zillion times more fun than solo gambling." Thank you for reminding me of that, I do sometimes forget and it certainly hits the nail on the head. Really tragic to see  compulsive gamblers engrossed in some crazy addiction, showing a total disregard for anything and everything else.

Sharon ... It seems only yesterday I was congratulating your 300 days GF and here you are on 310, crikey the days just seem to fly by. It makes me proud to watch your continued good progress and I am so determined to follow your example.

I know it's me being childish but you really lifted my spirits and  brought a smile to my face with your last post; "I found for days after a relapse a dark cloud would hoover and there was no enjoyment in anything."

 I do have a lazy streak,  which I know is unusual for a man,  and will put off dusting and vacuuming for several weeks. Anyway the good news is you shamed me into, I knew there was no way a dark cloud was going to do my hoovering so I thought, well,  I'd better get on with it. Flat is now spotless, all shipshape and bristol fashion. 

Scott ...Hope your well my friend. Last saturday you had an evening of reflection which hopefully helped to clear up any doubts or misunderstandings you may have been harbouring. Congratulations on your 51 days gamble free. Your approach is very positive plus you reach out to your fellow travellers with help and encouragement. 

S&B ...Thankyou for being a good friend and companion on our journey. I must say I do like your tastes in music and enjoy the songs you recommend. Hope your weekend has been good for you and lil girl and you have been out and about for walks. As everyone agrees we can get so much pleasure from the simple things in life.

Hello Diary.... Lazy day and now a lazy night sitting around relaxing. Enjoyed last nights Five Rhythm dance and my breathing/ chest pains are definitely improving. Tomorrow lunchtime a Five Rhythm dance teacher from Leeds is doing her monthly class in Hull, she is very good so I will get myself there and do what I can.

I have friends who have suffered from anxiety and depression. One good friend recently told me of 2 occasions when she had taken an overdose. A lovely lady who has always appeared bright and breezy when she obviously wasn't. She has been diagnosed as bipolar and takes medication to address it. It shocked me to think of the anguish that sufferers have to endure. My heart really goes out to anyone who is struggling with their thoughts and negative  emotions. I hope the angels can gather around to bring comfort and peace to all those who are in a dark place. We are all together on this journey and we need to keep going forward at our own speed. Tomorrow is another day and it might not be so bad.

 

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 01:53

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, thanks for dropping by on my diary. I've replied on mine.
I think being a compulsive gambler makes us empathise/sympathise with people more. Is it because we realise how difficult it can be to cope when our mental health let's us down? I guess that's one (of very few) bonus's from being a cg.
Glad you've had a lazy, relaxing day. No doubt saving yourself for your toe -tapping, hip-shaking moves tomorrow! (this afternoon! ) X

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 07:48

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thankyou for posting on my diary LML. Really pleased to see your getting your life back on track.I think we both realise this has got to be the end of the gambling madness.

Wishing you a good Sunday and a happy, gamble free, and full of fun, week ahead.

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 10:39

volcano

Joined:
2010-07-05

Hello Stephen,

Thanks for the bit of culture via Robbie Burns. It seems as I get older arts and culture are becoming more of an interest for this sun reading builder. A bit of irrelevant info there. 

You made me smile above when you said about cleaning your flat and it may be unusual for men to be lazy ! I always thought it was a natural trait of us hunters. 

I really enjoyed last night, was cool seeing a chap who is a big part of my history and how well he has done. Something that comes up on Gamcare quite often is the want to get shot of this crippling addiction and become normal, now I’m thinking yes, we need to tame the addiction but normal isn’t what we’re looking for after all. Quirks are human and cool, and just by your writing I can see a cool quirky chap.

Enjoy your day on the Humber 

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 18:16

RSmith39

Joined:
2017-12-24

Hi Stephen,  just popping bye to say hello ... saw your post on Scott’s diary and thought I had to say that you certainly aren’t a ‘sad old fool’ the fool doesn’t admit they have a problem, and doesn’t spend all the time helping others you do. OK, you have had a few relapses, but you recognise them as such, admit them on here, and crack on again. You’re posts are always interesting, so keep inspiring us relatively new members. Rich 

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 18:56

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

Hey Stephen, I have to echo what Richard just said as when you put “sad old fool” in a reply on my diary. That really made me feel the need to reply to you. You are definitely not a sad old fool and your concern and thoughts for others is lovely to see. We are all in this together relapses or no relapses. Let’s remember that. Scott

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 23:17

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for posting on my diary, I appreciate the encouragement and support.

I agree with with Volcano's sentiments. We are not looking to be normal, whatever that is. We want to be ourselves and make full use of our attributes. Life is to be enjoyed with high jinx and adventures. Experiencing life and all it has to offer is a far cry from servitude under the yoke of gambling addiction. Getting a buzz because a ball lands in one space instead of the one next to it. How sad is that !!!

Congratulations for tomorrow Rich as you will be 30 days away from your last bet. The bookies didn't want to let you go did they? I have never gambled online but am disgusted reading posts which describe their underhanded behaviour.

It is so difficult Scott to come to terms with the monies we have lost. It can be like a ball and chain stopping us moving on. If a  part of us refuses to accept the losses than it will hinder our recovery. A return to gambling simply means more money thrown away,  and we're caught up in a never ending cycle.

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 23:50

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, I can't imagine you are lazy in any way!!! Hope you've had a good Sunday? Your post on my diary earlier really made my day and I may have been chopping onions(code!) I don't think I was a bad person when gambling, just trapped and scared that that was it forever. Not gambling has opened my eyes to so much and given me a bucket of hope for a brighter future in every way. Ps you ain't no fool!! Wise, caring, funny is what you are S x 

Posted on:
Mon, 22/01/2018 - 21:24

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Sharon. I think you've hit the nail on the head with that last post:

" I don't think I was a bad person when gambling, just trapped and scared that that was it forever. Not gambling has opened my eyes to so much and given me a bucket of hope for a brighter future in every way."

Being compulsive gamblers doesn't mean we are bad people. When we are caught up in gambling addiction we lose our sense of control, we become frightened and start to feel that there is no way out of it for us. We might lose all our confidence, self respect and also experience feelings of helplessness.

It is encouraging to see how not gambling has transformed your outlook on life. Naturally you still harbour some feelings of remorse, guilt and sadness, but you see things more clearly now and you have hope for a brighter future.

I think it sends out a good, strong, clear message.

Take care ...stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 22/01/2018 - 21:37

kel21

Joined:
2015-10-04

 

I have been reading through all of these posts and it is comforting to know I am not the only one with these terrible feelings of dread and disappointment when I think about all the money I have lost through online gambling. 

Yesterday I self excluded myself from all online sites and I am determined to stop once and for all before I get myself in to any more debt, I have sleepless nights where I am tossing and turning worrying about money, having hot sweats when I think about all of the money I have lost. I know it has to stop if there is any chance of me trying to clear my debt and try to get back to how I used to be. Today has been hard but I have been strong and kept myself busy and kept saying to myself I will not bet. I am worried that over the next few days if I don’t occupy myself after work I may be tempted, does anyone have any advice on how to try and change my mind set to get rid of any temptations? Thank you in advance.

 

Posted on:
Mon, 22/01/2018 - 22:34

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Kel21 for posting on my diary. You are in the right place because you are with like minded friends who want to stop gambling.

It is a good idea to ring GamCare and discuss the options available to you. Alternatively you can  get information and advice by consulting the GamCare Forum page.

Many people find it beneficial to start their own diary to keep an ongoing record of their progress and to interact with other members. To do this go to the Recovery Diaries page. Press where it says New Topic . Enter the name you would like to call your diary, add a message and off you go.

Many members have long periods where they have been free from gambling, their lives seem to have improved a great deal.

Wishing you well. Stephen 

Posted on:
Mon, 22/01/2018 - 23:26

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Stephen. Just wanted to say that you're doing great. Input, Output, Feedback, Aspirations, Honesty, Compassion... Need I say more?

Posted on:
Tue, 23/01/2018 - 21:20

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, thanks for posting I wholeheartedly believe that you can do this!, stay GF and enjoy the life you deserve. Had sad news yesterday that a school friend passed away at the weekend, unbelievebly tragic. This has made me realise even more that we need to live the lives we want and nothing is undoable. We can draw a line, start again and forgive ourselves. Take care my friend Sx

Posted on:
Tue, 23/01/2018 - 22:16

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Stephen, and hope life's treating you well this week :)

You are exactly right when you write that we are not 'bad' people. We are trapped in a gambling cocoon that shuts our true selves out, that's all.

We can break free from those insidious gambling threads that envelop that cocoon, and make sure we sharpen our gambling-free knives; this evil knotweed grows back quickly if we're not careful...

Your doing great Stephen and what I admire about you is that you are determined to live a better life. It's not easy, this, but you keep bloody at it. And that gets my true respect, my friend. 

Posted on:
Tue, 23/01/2018 - 22:19

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hope you are ok Sharon. It must feel terrible to lose a friend you have known since your schooldays.

It reminds me that life is precious and something to be cherished. 

Sending you a hug and my best wishes ...stephen x 

Posted on:
Tue, 23/01/2018 - 22:41

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thanks for the post on my diary Mixer. That's a great analogy. Wrapped up in the gambling addiction has always left me feeling helpless. Hope your having a good week. 

Posted on:
Wed, 24/01/2018 - 09:37

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

21 days GF ! now now sir Stephen :) that’s a good winning streak . You’ve always been one of my inspiration to remain gf , you’ve proven that age is just a number :) stay young and fresh ;)

Posted on:
Wed, 24/01/2018 - 21:42

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Many thanks Sars and I totally agree with you - 21 days gamble free is a good winning streak. Every day that I don't gamble is another step in the right direction.

I sometimes get confused with the notion of reaching "rock bottom." Someone once remarked at a GA meeting that only by reaching rock bottom can we stop gambling. I didn't agree with that than and I don't now.

What is "rock bottom?" People will sink to different depths to satisfy their gambling lust. For some it may involve losing their savings, others their liberty, and some even their life. 

I'd hate to think that in the confusion someone might view it as their goal, something to aspire to.

It would seem preferential to call time while there is still something to salvage.

 

Posted on:
Wed, 24/01/2018 - 21:53

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello Stephen,

I look at it as the point in which any necessary change is made in life. A point of clarity. What makes us notice that our gambling actually IS a problem? I had a gambling debt of 3k that never moved for 11 years yet i gambled EVERYDAY all that time. I lost that time because i was in a zone of comfort. I could carry on without a care because it never felt like it was affecting me because i could afford the minimum credit card payments and that was enough. The debt didn't scare me and it didn't make me question what i was doing.

Once i maxed out my credit source, turned to family for money and started to get rejected loans then i was forced to question it. Was that rock bottom or my moment of clarity. Who knows but it was the point in which change was forced upon me.

Well done on 3 weeks. I hope you're feeling better about yourself each day.

Posted on:
Thu, 25/01/2018 - 11:51

SEL87

Joined:
2017-10-18

Hey Steve good to see you doing better again and 22 days gamble-free is great,well done for not chasing whatever you lost 22 days ago,that shows real determination and courage not to bow down to the addiction.i agree completely with you about that saying 'rock bottom' I believe there is no such thing really I think if there is any relevance to it,it's just blowing all your money until every last Penney has gone and you don't know what to do anymore,maybe that's why people use it.anyways I'm happy to read your in good spirits again hope you continue to abstain and wish u good health for the foreseeable.

Posted on:
Thu, 25/01/2018 - 22:56

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for posting on my diary sjwsjw & Sel, and congratulations on your good progress . I appreciate your encouragement and feedback. 

Meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow. Not seen her for ages so we can have a catch up. She is aware of my gambling issues so will be good to tell her I am abstaining.

Gambling urges come and go but I feel strong enough to ignore them. It does help to not carry much money around. I have sufficient on my Asda gift card for any shopping I might need,  plus I carry £15 in my wallet. It's not enough to gamble with but will be handy to have should I need it. 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 27/01/2018 - 11:05

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning friends. Love and best wishes to anyone who is kind enough to visit my diary.

Just been reflecting on my solitary life as a gambling addict. A concerned friend asked me yesterday "Have you met anyone yet?" I pointed out that being single has it's good points. "No man is an Island," or so I've heard said, but I feel contented in my lonesome bed

Feeling secure in my battered cocoon ~ I dance to the stars & howl to the moon

 

Posted on:
Sat, 27/01/2018 - 14:23

RSmith39

Joined:
2017-12-24

Great post and glad to see you feeling cheerful.  I would suggest all us gamblers are ‘lonely’ ... many a time I’ve being playing blackjack in a house full of people and felt so alone!  Had Xmas with about 20 other people and felt suicidal ... I think cracking the gambling problem is a first step to hopefully a happier and fuller life.  What I’d give sometimes though for a ‘lonesome bed’, rather than having kids trying to climb in all night! Rich 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 05:18

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Rich for posting on my diary, I am pleased to see you making good progress.

Sorry to say I have let the side down again and I am back on day one. It seems when I feel sad or remorsefuI I am more inclined to gamble. Different day but the same old story. 

My self exclusion from the betting shops had expired but I don't think that stops me anyway. On several occasions ovef the years I have self excluded  but whenever I was feeling desperate I just searched out betting shops where I was not excluded.

Thanks to my diary I have fulfilled all my financial obligations and made my debt repayments each month. I just need now to stop these stupid relapses which are stopping me moving forward. At times I feel self assured and confident but than black clouds comes along. If only I can stay focussed on "One day at a time." I know that negative feelings will come and go. 

I have witnessed some of my gamcare friends who have stood their ground and not given in. I can be like them if I behave with more courage and integrity.

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 07:26

RSmith39

Joined:
2017-12-24

Hi Stephen,

You haven’t let anyone down but yourself.  I really don’t want to sound flippant, as I know it’s a shame going back to zero, but it doesn’t sound like a disaster. You’ve paid out what you need to for the month, you haven’t had to borrow off family and friends, and you haven’t hurt any dependents. I know exactly what you feel like ... I get down and want to gamble ... only difference is that I want to gamble really large amounts, and have made sure I don’t have the money to do so ... it’s certainly not that I have more courage or integrity than you! I’m thinking you’ve only had a small gamble, so dust yourself off and crack on again ... you’ve still come a long way, in that you won’t let it turn into a prolonged bout. Hang in there, try not to over think it, other than what could be different next time you get the urge ... sorry can’t help too much on that front, as I’m not sure how you can cut access to the funds if it’s only a relatively small amount and you have no-one to keep a tight rein on you.  Keep posting, and keep helping others like you always do. Rich

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 09:35

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I echo the above Stephen, you're doing so well. There just seems to be an opening there for when you're feeling low and the urges come.
Is there any way you can close it, to make it impossible for you?
It's such a horrible addiction and so difficult when there are so many areas of temptation open to us. You must never think bad of yourself, you have come so far. You are a wonderful, funny, warm hearted person who deserves a break and one day you WILL beat this. Never give up!
Another lml bucket of strength and a great big hug whistling its way to you!!! x

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 10:28

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, read this in a stern voice! You haven't let anyone down, no one will judge you and you have been a consistent support and comfort to many. You have moved forward so much from the day you joined here and before quitting other addictions. So you have alot on your side here, everyone makes mistakes so don't dwell, use the positivity you generously dish out and be kind to yourself. You are genuinely worth being GF and happy, make it happen! Take care Sx 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 11:39

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi Stephen, sorry to read about your relapse, the fact that you sorted you bills and debt payments out before you chose to gamble shows some kind of restraint on your part ....  its seems there is some kind of loophole thats left open that allows you keep going back and its clear that needs to be closed to allow the to move on propertly, as its been said in here many times nothing changes if nothing changes ..... full respect to you for admitting your mistakes and coming straight back on here and as said above you havent let anyone on here down, its far from easy i was close to gambling yesterday myself but we need to learn from our mistakes and use them as tools to help us with our daily battle ....wishing you well mate i know you have the strengh to pick yourself up and keep fighting.

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 13:10

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Hi Stephen. We are on day 1 together. You haven't let anyone down. And yes you gambled yesterday but think of all the days you didn't gamble. Yesterday's battle is over but you will win this war. I totally empathise because I am the same, there are points when somehow I am just a little low, vulnerable and just tired of it all and somehow find my way back to gambling. You are stronger than you think and you will tick off those days. Let's get out of January and have a clean sheet in Feb. Take care and be kind to yourself. Xx

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 13:11

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Hi Stephen. We are on day 1 together. You haven't let anyone down. And yes you gambled yesterday but think of all the days you didn't gamble. Yesterday's battle is over but you will win this war. I totally empathise because I am the same, there are points when somehow I am just a little low, vulnerable and just tired of it all and somehow find my way back to gambling. You are stronger than you think and you will tick off those days. Let's get out of January and have a clean sheet in Feb. Take care and be kind to yourself. Xx

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 14:09

volcano

Joined:
2010-07-05

Hello Stephen, 

It’s a ****** isn’t it and no real tangible explanation why we delve back into the insidious behaviour that we run to when tackling some inner turmoil. Inner is the key word there ! 

When I read your post about your relapse, I straight a way went to your post from yesterday and read a sadness reminisce and maybe that’s a self awareness that you need to start recognising, something I think that is filtering in a fashion of sorts. Not sure whether I’m articulating my self very well here, but you know it’s with best intentions. 

I so agree with this following line but - ‘ what are you going to do different this time ? ‘ , your methods ie Gamcare and being a round people, dance etc are all good but as my school report would say ‘ he can always do better ‘

Wish you well 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 14:22

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Rich, Little Miss Lost, Sharon, Chartom, Annie and Volcano. I really do appreciate your support and encouragement.

I feel I have come a long way thanks to my gamcare friends. I have a small amount which I put to one side and which I haven't gambled. I am thinking rationally and looking towards the future with hope and realistic goals, which includes not gambling again.

In the past I was losing all sense of reason due to the compulsion to gamble. I mounted up a large debt and often left myself in dire financial difficulties. I was sometimes bordering on despair.

I feel I am within a whisker of giving up the gambling for good. I just need that little bit more strength, a bit more courage and some common sense.

Later I will be posting on a new thread and hopefully that will be the one which records my journey home.

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 15:03

Nicenormalfamily

Joined:
2017-12-15

Hi, Stephen,

Just wanted to stop and say hi perhaps give some encouragement. Day one is as good as any other number to be proud of being gambling free. Yes, it is disappointing to know that you allowed yourself to slip after all the hard work, but every human does slip on a daily basis for many other things. None of us is perfect. Some spent their whole lives being nasty to others, uncapable of saying sorry, never acknowledging their own flaws. Would you rather be that person? You, me, pretty much everyone on this forum take ownership of their actions, addresses them to make changes and for that we are already better people. There are only so many unsuccessful attempts you can make at some point you would succeed as long as you never give up.

Take care!

Posted on:
Mon, 29/01/2018 - 13:40

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Stephen. Sorry to hear that you had another gambling spree. I know that you'll pick yourself up with renewed determination - you always do!

But I've got to be honest here. The question is about whether you really want to stop. We can all talk till we're blue in the face about leaving the gambling behind and creating a better lifestyle. But IF deep inside you enjoy spinning the reels so much and are therefore prepared to take part regardless of the consequences. Maybe you will have to face that fact. The fact that you're trying to change the way you are... The very building blocks of your DNA?
However, I'm not saying that change can't happen. I'm not saying that it is futile to attempt what might appear to be impossible.

Imagine if the inventors of the past and future actually resigned to the notion that things were unachievable..

In 1802 Humphrey Davey invented the first electric light followed by over 20 other re-designs of the incandescent lamp by other inventors. In 1879 Thomas Edison patented his design for the original carbon-filament bulb, much like the bulb we use today. Suppose if these inventors had simply given up, resigned to the fact that it could not be done?

So therefore the question is WHY. Why do you want to gamble. What does it give you? How does it make you feel? Can these thoughts and experiences be replicated in other ways.

And more importantly, Ask yourself: 'What has gambling caused to you over the years'. What are the effects and outcomes.

Posted on:
Tue, 30/01/2018 - 20:35

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Changemylife. An enlightening post which is certainly relevant to my current situation.

Thank you S&B. It could be a walk in the park, it's just me choosing to make it difficult. Enjoyed the music link (India Arie - Back to the middle). Quite appropriate.

The only thing I can change is to start behaving with maturity, courage and self discipline.

GA nights are tuesday and friday which is also my 2 dance nights (tonight cancelled). That rules GA out because dancing is more likely to bring about my recovery. I did attend GA for long periods but it didn't stop me gambling and I never took to the 12 step program...stephen 

THIS THREAD IS NOW CLOSED.

 

 

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