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The Start Of A New Chapter

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 06/06/2018 - 10:58

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

Hi to all

I have been partaking in the online group treatment that GamCare provide and am 5 weeks into the 6. I have found this process very enjoyable (even though tough at times) and extremely beneficial. I really like being held accountable by the group and do not want to let them down along with my partner, family and friends.

With only 1 week left of the 6 I was concerned with what I would fill the gap (Tuesday evening) with. The suggestion of starting up a recovery diary and then with the time that I would normally have group use it to update my diary.

This suggestion was brilliant so here goes.

The forum space is all new to me but from reading many peoples on here and looking to fill the gap that my Tuesday night group will leave I wanted to give it a go

I have been gambling on and off for years. But in recent years it had got worse. Through growing up I had emotional releases. My main one used to be food. Emotional eating……….have a bad day eat. Eat when no one was watching and it wasn’t real. Feel good when eating. Feel awful after.

I got this under control. Lost around 3-4 stone and got fit and healthy.

Unfortunately I found a new piece of paper to go over the cracks of my emotions etc. Gambling. This very slowly started to replace the emotional eating and became emotional gambling. And again felt amazing but then felt awful

This got worse and worse. I started to gamble out of my means……..started to rack up debts. I got to 18k.

My turning point was my partner finding out. I just couldn’t hide it anymore. I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I had done/been doing. She pointed me in the direction of GamCare and I started my journey.

I have not gambled now for 77 days. My first mini goal is to hit 100 days and I feel well on my way to achieve this and push on to further days.

I am pleased to say that over these days I feel that I have only had one awful day that I had urges. I stayed strong and worked through it.

I have been concentrating more on my work and bettering myself. Learning more about myself and my environment and working harder to pay off my debts.

I have found the group environment amazing and am looking forward to the continued support and personally supporting others on this platform

Have an awesome day all

Posted on:
Wed, 06/06/2018 - 12:04

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi Tim,
Great post and its good to hear that you are already starting to feel the benefits that come when you stop gambling.

You mentioned in your pst that you took a lot from the group sessions....have you ever considered GA?

Damo

Posted on:
Thu, 07/06/2018 - 11:16

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

Cheers for the reply Damo

No I havent.......Is it something that you have been part of?

Tim

Posted on:
Thu, 07/06/2018 - 11:39

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi Tim,

Unfortunaltey I dont go currently due to how/where my work is and the hours I do. I have been in the past though and to be honest the fact I stopped going probably played a part in the fact that i had never really had long periods of gambling until now. 

Some of the people with long periods of gambling on this site swear by it.

Have a look at oldhamktf's diary "better to ramble than to gamble".

Damo

Posted on:
Thu, 07/06/2018 - 12:52

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

That is my feelings around what to do after my group finishes next week. The group has really given me drive, focus and clarity around stopping gambling and I do not want to lose that. Hence why I feel it is the next chapter of this journey and the next hurdle to get over.

I have had a look and I have a GA meeting a few miles away on a Thursday eve...........A shuffle with work hours and can make it.

Thanks for the thought provoking reply Damo

Posted on:
Mon, 11/06/2018 - 14:46

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

Is it me or does anyone else feel highly motivated when they see the number of days since last gambled on the home screen when you log on to the site..........im up to 82 days now and am targeting the big 100. This is the first milestone I wanted to hit and feel so poud it is in reaching distance.

My partner feels we should do something small to mark the occasion......This really made me feel really positive about the steps I am taking and that she is in this with me. Having a strong support network really is importnt in this journey.

I hope everyone is having an amazing Monday. Be proud of every step you take in the right direction.....no matter how big or small it is

Posted on:
Tue, 12/06/2018 - 21:13

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

 

 

So I have just completed my last session of the online group therapy and am feeling a mixture of emotions over this 

Nervous - To be away from the structure, understanding people and safety net that the group provides

Pride - In myself for starting the journey and finishing my first chapter in recovery 

Excitement - To start the new chapter in my recovery and keep close contact with the other members of the group 

Has anyone else had experience with the online group sessions and how did they feel once they had completed it?

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 19/06/2018 - 15:19

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

So...................After completing my 6 week online group treatment a week ago today (12/06) I was worried with filling the void that the group would leave. I started this thread to make myself accountable  and keep my focus going which the group helped provide

How has my week been? (Check In)

The past week has been very positive for myself.......I have been more driven at work. Enjoying spending time with my partner and her 3 year old son, and getting slowly back into training at the gym (an arm operation has held me back in this department). One thing I am massively noticing is the time and freedom I feel to be able to focus on these things without the constant thought that gambling brings to the back of my mind. It used to overwhelm me and was never more than one or two thoughts away. I feel it is still there in some shape or form but not in a 'I must' or 'I need' to gamble........but in a 'Im going to win this battle' way..........Over this week (today infact) I have hit 90 days GF. I am taking each day as it comes and I know I have a long way to go but I am very proud of what I have achieved over these 90 days and am looking forward to what the future of being GF brings. I cant wait to hit 100 days (I say it like that because I will hit 100 days)

I have been in touch (through email) with two of the members of the online group. Having this access to them is going to be really beneficial in the continued efforts to keep going and moving forward. I want to play a part in them succeeding and having a better life without gambling

 

So what does the next week bring for me...........Much of the same really. More work. More family time. And more training. I am moving forward one step and one day at a time to a better me and I strongly believe that this time next week I will be in a better place than I am today..........It may only be the smallest step forward but that is a great achievement and one I am proud of

I will continue to win this fight and help others on the journey aswell

Have an awesome evening and week

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 26/06/2018 - 19:47

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

So. Another week done and up to 97 GF days. I’m not taking anything for granted and am taking every day as a mini battle to win the war

Keep going guys 

Posted on:
Wed, 27/06/2018 - 11:00

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Tim1984,

It sounds like you have taken quite a bit from the online group sessions and are progressing nicely from there.

Two more days to the 100! I hope you have something nice planned with your partner to mark the occasion. 

Keep going and keep posting.

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Fri, 29/06/2018 - 07:31

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

100 Days GF and feeling good

 

Posted on:
Fri, 29/06/2018 - 10:38

shake the disease

Joined:
2018-02-06

congratulations Tim on 100 days.

you've proper smashed it, get a big celebration going with the missus, tear it up, you deserve it mate.

Posted on:
Fri, 29/06/2018 - 14:02

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

Cheers Shake The Disease..........have treated myself to a new book by a guy called Joe Polish called ‘the miracle morning for addiction recovery’. Looking forward to learning some new stuff

Posted on:
Thu, 05/07/2018 - 14:25

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

106 Days and feeling good. 100 was a great milestone......now onwards each day. I’m looking forward to the months ahead 

Posted on:
Tue, 10/07/2018 - 15:23

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

111............GF really proud of the achievement so far

No temptation to gamble what so ever

Have been starting to think how I can help others through these tough times.....Using my experiences and my struggles to relate and help others. Does anyone else do this? If so how??

Posted on:
Wed, 18/07/2018 - 13:08

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

119 Days GF and going well. Got given a gift from my partner today. ‘The Five Minute Journal’. Going to start writing down daily what I am grateful for etc. Being positive, constantly learning and wanting to be a better person has really helped me on my quest to be and stay GF. Hope everyone is having a great day 

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 24/07/2018 - 19:59

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

125 Days GF. Feeling good. Hope everyone is going well 

Posted on:
Thu, 26/07/2018 - 12:02

Tim1984

Joined:
2018-06-06

Does anyone ever have days where it hits you like a ton of bricks and you really struggle with the situation you have got yourself in......how you have hurt friends and family......struggling financially.

Im having one of those days

I keep on focusing on the number ive got to today of 127....127 days GF. I will make it 128

Hope everyone is doing good

Positive vibes

Posted on:
Thu, 26/07/2018 - 13:34

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi Tim,
Long time since I've had a bet but I am still haunted by some of the things I have done in the past........ this is something I am still working on gettong over.

At least these days I can look at myself in the mirror with some sense of pride.

Keep going.
Damo