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Two years and sucked back in...  

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shaun442
(@shaun442)

Evening,

I have been here once before, at that time I thought I wanted to give this up and deep down I dont think I did and at the time one or two people mentioned about the way I spoke about it.

I am now as low as I can get, I have felt like ending it.

I have two kids and amazing partner and all I am doing is messing there life up.

Month after month living to gamble, im out working all the time to make as much money as I can to then just gamble it all.

I need help in beating this addiction any advice would be amazing. I am 100% ready to do this.

I will beat and support my family the way I should have done!

Thank you

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Posted : 1st February 2012 10:35 pm
Smiler
(@smiler)

Hi Shaun

Your first port of call might be Netline. They will be able to give you some practical tips on how to start this road of recovery. If you used bookies then self exclusion would be a start. If you used internet then a software blocker is key. Try and post and read as much as you can. Keep photos with you in case you are near bookies and fancy a bet in stead you can self exclude.

Take care

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2012 10:41 pm
shaun442
(@shaun442)

Hi smiler,

Thanks for the comment I will be going into the bookies and self excluding myself this is a must. Is there any recomendations with the blockers? I will be on here every night reading everyones diarys and updating mine. There are positives to take from each persons experiance.

Thanks for advise.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2012 10:55 pm
Smiler
(@smiler)

Never used online so not sure. Betfilter is one that people speak highly of but if you read through I'm sure you'll see others! Let us know what you choose. Some of them have a free trial so I'm led to believe!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2012 11:02 pm
Compulsive Gambler
(@compulsive-gambler)

Hi Shaun,

Smiler, I think, has given you some sound advice there, there are most definately some great experts about to help advise

Personally I was at 'rock bottom' on several occassions, I really didnt think I could get much lower but I am happy to say that I have now managed 1 year without gambling a penny - I didn't think Id ever be able to say that.

Reading and posting helped me greatly although I dont post anywhere near as much as I did to start with - I just found it a great tool to help keep me occupied and also to try and unravel my mind.

Just one more thing on the advice point, there is soo much about, sooo many 'right' ways of doing things but the reality in my opinion is that it is impossible to have a one size fits all formula - listen, read, ask as much as you can and then find what fits for you, what helps you - thats all that matters.

I continue to go through huge bouts of guilt, I cant quite comprehend what I have done to those around me and I shall remain eternally grateful for them standing by me and sorry for what I have put them through but I have also to concentrate on myself, I have to still 'reward' myself sometimes, I have to sometimes put myself first, so that I can be the person my loved ones want me to be

If you really are determined to give up gambling then do it. as of now you no longer gamble. Take the moment, take control - you are then one who chose to gamble (doesnt matter why at this point) but you chose to gamble, you found the money to place the bet - now switch that round and you be the one who chooses not to gamble.

Best wishes to you and feel free to ask me anything you like about my own battle

regards

dan

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2012 11:16 pm
castle2
(@castle2)

Hi Shaun

Like u have just started my diary and am determined to beat this like u I will be posting daily and supporting others for me it's the best way forward the inspiration and motivation I get from other posts and diaries and to know I am not alone helps the most

Good luck Shaun on ur road to recovery

Castle2

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st February 2012 11:19 pm
shaun442
(@shaun442)

Hi dan, thanks for taking the time to get me some good advise, let me start by congratulationg you for going a year gamble free that is some achivement.

I have been doing alot of reading tonight and there is some really good points and advise in a way to help over come this addicition.

I like you feel so guilty and I think that is a big part of my problem and actually reaching out and asking for help.

I am so determind to stop this time, I never want to feel this low again. I will keep posting its early days and will be tough for a while but I will get there.

I will listen to anyones advise and take it on board if it helps me come to terms in understanding this addicition.

Is there any good books to read iv herd this is a good way?

Cheers for the support.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2012 12:05 am
davey
(@davey)

Hi there's a really good inexpensive blocker called 'TXnogam ' (google it) costs £24. Has done wonders for me, 8 days clean now & would have relapsed if this software hadn't been installed. You can try it out for 28 days for free, but remember to install the full version after this date if it works for you. There's a book by Philip Mawer on amazon called 'overcoming gambling' get that & read it. hope these help.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2012 12:53 am
shaun442
(@shaun442)

Hi davey, thanks for that I have just downloaded that and next step is to ban myself from the bookies. I will also look into that book.

Tomorrow is another day and it will be gamble free and will be the start of getting my life back in order.

Thank you.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2012 1:16 am
shaun442
(@shaun442)

Ok so here we are into day one installed a bet filter, sorting out my finances and getting my life back into some sort of order. I will not get complacent this time and think after two weeks I have shaken this addicition insted I will keep posting.

Keep up the hard work everyone together we will get there.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2012 6:11 pm
Anonymous-user
(@anonymous-user-384)

Welcome and you seem to have made a brilliant start! This shows how desperate you are to kick this evil habit into orbit.

To answer your diary question "Is there a way out?"

Two words...

...OF COURSE!

It's all about you making the right decisions for YOURSELF.

And you have made the perfect start, keep it up!

All the very best,

GT

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd February 2012 6:32 pm
shaun442
(@shaun442)

evening, day two and feeling good not had a chance to think about gambling allday been busy with work. My problem is when I log into my email and theres always emails from online sites with offers so I have gone and changed my email address and closed the old one down that will stop them.

I have spoken to my mum and she will be taking control of my money after speaking to a counselor think this is the best thing.

Feeling really possitive about the whole thing but getting really grumpy and moody is this normal and part of the recovery or am I ment to be happy that I am finaly getting my life back on track?

How did people manage to tell there partners if they didnt know already about what they were doing?

thank you and I will get there, I will beat this.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd February 2012 11:00 pm
JS123
(@js123)

Hey Shaun

Good work on your recovery. I need to install a betfilter, too - wish I'd known about them before.

You asked about telling partners. It's abig thing to tell someone you love that you are a gambler. It's probably the most important thing though. Honesty is essential as a good relationship is built on trust. My wife doesn't trust me with money - and who can blame here but she can trust in every other area.

I'd suggest thinking about what you want to say. Find a time when you can sit down and talk uninterrupted. Ask your partner to give you some time to say all the things you need to.

When I told my wife 16 years ago I explained all the ugliness of gambling. What it feels like when you're winning and losing. The nonsense of it all. She was generous to listen and try to understand. She is still trying all these years later.

Few people really understand what it is like to be a gambler. We all know. I am hopeful that most gamblers are decent people. We can maintain that by being honest and generous with those that listen to us. I can only think it will help with our recovery.

All the best

JS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th February 2012 2:43 am
shaun442
(@shaun442)

Hi js,

I really want to tell her and like you say I will have to wait until the time is right and I have got on top of this.

My partner will be so upset with what I have done and put my family through, I earn a very good wage for my age and we could be very comfortable if I hadnt have let this take a grip the way it has.

On wards and up wards, did not cave into temptation today not even the £2 acca I normaly do, I thought last time this was acceptable but we all know what happens it doesnt stop with a simple £2 bet.

I WILL not bet and I WILL stay strong.

Thank you for the advise JS I appreciate it good luck with your recovery.

Shaun

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th February 2012 7:19 pm
shaun442
(@shaun442)

Well here I am 5 days into my recovery doing really well but keeping my self awake at night with worry about failing as I cant and wont fail this time. I keep thinking about money I know I have got a plan in place to get debt free in two years but I cant stop worrying about it.

Looking forward to getting to 7 days as this is my first target which I will get to.

Will be speak to my mum later about looking after my bank and trasnfering me a set amount each week.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th February 2012 12:18 pm
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