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Trying to fight the urge  

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BrianC1994
(@brianc1994)

Treating this as day one. 

Being realistic it will be extremely difficult. The urge to fill time with a bet is overwhelmong but by tracking it I think I stand a chance.

If I post the numbers that i'm battling it will help motivate me to get back  on an even keel. If I amend this after every pay it will track whether I am moving in the right direction. 

My Debt situation is:

Personal Loan: £3522 (£4000 originally)

Credit card 1 :£3900 (£4000 limit)

Credit Card 2: £6400 (£6400)

I also have £500 overdraft however this obviously changes daily.

So with circa £14,000 of debt - 90% of which is due to gambling I have mammoth task on my hands given my annual income is only £20,000 and I have only recently returned to work following furlough.

Today is a new start.

All comments and feedback appreciated.

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Posted : 5th August 2020 10:44 am
Rambo227
(@rambo227)

Hi BrianC1994

Day one is always the hardest as you probably know all too well! The loss is still fresh in your mind and you want that money back. Just remember though, we never ever win! The people who win are the ones who gamble for fun, the people who have a bet and can feel happy whether they win or lose. I will never understand how they do it but it gives me the realisation that I wont ever win. We wont ever win. 

Good on you posting your situation and be sure to continue posting your progress, it would be excellent to see those numbers going down for you. Every day you dont gamble and every time those numbers reduce that's a win for you and for all of us. 

Keep it up mate! 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 10:53 am
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Hiya Brian 

Welcome to the club and well done for getting yourself started on your new gamble free life as in the end my friend there is only one winner and it's not you or me. Well I don't know how you gamble as if it's in betting shops you've got to self exclude, admin on this site are always happy to help, if your online then you've got to register with gamstop and gameban this way it will restrict you when you've got the urge. Urges are highs my friend and nothing is 100% going to stop you from gambling but the idea is to put as many blocks in place as you can that way by the time you find a way round your blocks your urges should've settled down and you should hopefully remember the negatives of gambling and reduce the harm that can be done as we're not all on here because there's nothing on tv. We're all problem gamblers and will support each other anyway we can  no ones way is right or wrong but its good to have a selection as we're all different 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 11:09 am
Frankiewx
(@frankiewx)

Hi, I’m on Day 1 too so I get you! What I’m finding on here is a great support and rambo227 talks a lot of sense! We will get there just one day at a time!! But together we can kick Mr Addiction and take back our control! @rambo227 suggested to me reaching out to the companies you have the debts with to see if they can help? 

I found this on here yesterday which brought it home but we can beat him!! 

I AM ADDICTION

I start in small subtle ways promising many things.

I promise you enjoyment and pleasure beyond your wildest dreams. I  deliver guilt & despair more horrible than your worst nightmare.

I promise you power & courage, I give you feelings of powerlessness & hopelessness.

I will force you to live in fear always.

I promise you relief and escape from all your daily problems, I create for you greater problems than you ever imagined.

I promise you many friends, I allow you only isolation. I promise happiness, I create much sorrow.

I will steal from you your dignity, your families, your friends, your children, your homes, your demons, your spirit & your life, for love,  freedom & happiness are impossible to find in my presence.

So never underestimate me, I am devious & manipulating. I have no preferences as to who I pick as my victim, rich or poor, young or old, black, white, yellow or red.

I have killed men, women & children, I have no conscience.

So if you have met me, always be aware if you think you can beat me, that I will be gone from your life and all will go well again, never forget that I will always be there, waiting in the dark shadows just around the corner.

I am very patient and I will laugh in your face if I can lure you into my evil world of hell on earth once again.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 11:15 am
BrianC1994
(@brianc1994)

Thanks guys, the support is much appreciated. Really hoping the future is brighter!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 11:21 am
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Brian 

You'll get there just take it one day at a time and that will amount plus you sound like you know what you want and that's half the battle be aware of the enemy as one bet turns into another 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 11:37 am
Frogman
(@frogman)

Hi BrianC1994,

Just to quickly add to the above, please don't worry too much about the debt as that could drag you back, curb the gambling and your debts will gradually fade away. I first came here in 2018, I posted then ran away to chase my loss. Believe me, I lost A LOT more. I came back here 40days ago and haven't gambled since. I survived my first payday not gambling and treated myself to a £400 watch. The last time I bought sometime for myself near that amount was a jacket on the back of a win in 2018, of course, I ended up losing more than I won. I know the devil is only a door away so I am on my toes with all blocks in place as well as counselling. As someone said earlier, everyday we don't gamble is a win - literally.

On the urge, have you thought about the next best thing you enjoy after gambling? gambling has got to be No 1 isn't it 🙂 Try fill your time with other things.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 2:29 pm
Frankiewx
(@frankiewx)

How are you doing??

I’ve just done a survey with StepChange who work out the best plan for you to help with debts! It takes a little time to do (it did for me as I have 9 credit cards) but it’s well worth it. I could be debt free in 3 years which may sound like a long time but imagine having no debt and kicking this habit....it’s a feeling I’m looking forward to! WE CAN DO THIS! 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th August 2020 4:51 pm
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

being someone that's spent the last 5 years in debt mainly because of gambling i will warn you , you have a long road ahead of you 

looking at your debt i would say the credit cards needs to be addressed immediately as i would imagine they are high interest and are probably going to to cost you £2000 a year in interest repayments 

another tip i would offer is to try and create a second income from something and divert that into the debt 

anyway most importantly live stringently and don't get anymore debt ! 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2020 11:02 am
BrianC1994
(@brianc1994)

Hi @Frankiewx,

I have spoken to somebody at stepdebtsupport? Trying to find out my options available to me but I'm worried about debt consolidation and what the risks of this are. I'm also not sure who is trusted for this type of thing.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2020 1:39 pm
Frankiewx
(@frankiewx)

StepChange I’ve read on here! I’m sceptical too as it does affect your credit score for 6 years. I may try and manage it for now and reassess where I get to in 6 months....

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2020 2:17 pm
Bal
 Bal
(@bal)

Good afternoon,

Have used stepchange for last 5 plus years to clear a 30k debt. Loans, credit cards, overdrafts were crippling me so my credit rating was awful.

What this has taught me is only now to use a debit card and to budget better.

One more payment left to Stepchange. For me personally the debt management plan option was suitable for me.

Best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2020 3:33 pm
Frankiewx
(@frankiewx)

Thanks @bal 

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Posted : 6th August 2020 4:13 pm
BrianC1994
(@brianc1994)

Thanks @Bal

 

If you don't mind me asking, how did the debt management plan work?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2020 4:33 pm
Bal
 Bal
(@bal)

I provided stepchange with a list of my debts and a list of my incomings and other outgoings (the outgoings list includes all bills, clothing, hairdressing, car etc plus monies to live on)

Stepchange negotiate with your creditors how much you can afford to pay each month. You pay a DD to stepchange who distribute it to your creditors. Normally all interest charges and fees are frozen.

You compete an online review of your finances yearly and it stops phone calls and threatening letters to.your home.

As long as u pay Stepchange they will deal with everything else really.

You cant take out any other credit. For me the most important issue was ensuring we had enough monies to live on each month.

I was on a debt management plan.

Hope this helps.

Best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2020 4:53 pm
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