Hi. I am 36 years old and have gambled since I was 16 years old. The gambling spiralled out of control 8 years ago when I was made redundant and my dad passed away from cancer. I am currently 24 days without a bet and have been on the forum and chat room regularly. I have decided to start a diary to help me stay focused .
My gambling spiralled out of control 8 years ago and has put me in 34k of debt through bank loans. I had a breakdown 24 days ago and told my long term partner everything about my secret life. She was shocked but very supportive. She has taken over the finances and helped me make a plan moving forwards. She also came with me to see the gp who has put me on anti depressants.
I can't remember the last time I went 24 hours without a bet so 24 days is something I am proud of. I have never been so determined about anything in my life as I am about eradicating gambling from my life. I have 3 young children and want to create a good future for them.
Over the last 24 days I have felt every emotion possible. I've had good days and bad days but am determined to keep it going and not let anyone down. I have been referred for counselling and am awaiting my first session. I have found this web site to be truly inspirational to me so thank you to everyone who contributes to it.
I am registered to gam stop for 5 years which felt like a big step at first but has been great as most of my gambling was sports betting online.
So that's me warts n all.sorry it was long winded!! As I say I have never felt this determined about anything before so hoping for a positive future.
24 days and counting!!
Welcome Gareth, here's to a positive future for u and ur family
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Quite a lot of similarities with me. You're doing really well. Keep it up.
Thanks for the comments. Much appreciated .
Today is day 25 GF. Feeling good with no major urges. Kept busy with kids football and going out for Sunday dinner.
Today I finished reading the Allen Carr easy way to stop gambling book. I downloaded it on the play store for 3 quid after seeing a few people recommend it on here. It was a really interesting read. It makes you look at your gambling from a different angle. It has helped me realise that I don't actually enjoy gambling so in giving it up I'm not depriving myself of something I enjoy.
I would highly recommend everyone gives this book a read.
Should be due a bank statement through the post in a couple of days time. I'm looking forward to seeing no gambling transactions on It!!
Day 26 GF.
Having a bit of bad luck at the minute. Washing machine broke a month ago, tv broke last week and tonight our oven has packed in. They say bad luck comes in 3s!! The oven breaking tonight brought on strong urges to gamble to pay for the repair or to buy a new one but I took a step back and had a think and came up with a more rational idea . Then I made myself very busy and the urges passed.
It seems that any financial mishap, even just a small one, can trigger my gambling urges. This is certainly something to be wary of moving forwards with recovery.
Anyway , a tricky situation overcome and back to feeling positive.
Gareth1983 wrote: Day 26 GF. Having a bit of bad luck at the minute. Washing machine broke a month ago, tv broke last week and tonight our oven has packed in. They say bad luck comes in 3s!! The oven breaking tonight brought on strong urges to gamble to pay for the repair or to buy a new one but I took a step back and had a think and came up with a more rational idea . Then I made myself very busy and the urges passed. It seems that any financial mishap, even just a small one, can trigger my gambling urges. This is certainly something to be wary of moving forwards with recovery. Anyway , a tricky situation overcome and back to feeling positive.
Well done on 26 days!
And well done on not giving in to the urges to gamble to replace the faulty items. A few years back I wanted to upgrade my cooker and thought it would be 'fun' to win it. Needless to say I didn't succeed, and in fact I spent the equivalent of a new kitchen trying.
Stay positive.
Thanks for the comments redeemed. Everything seems to go wrong at the same Time!!
Day 27 today.
After Christmas I decided to start eating healthy and lose some weight. I'm not massively overweight but could do with losing a few lbs here and there. I did quite well at sticking at it and lost nearly a stone. Since opening up about my gambling addiction and tackling it head on, the healthy eating has gone completely out the window. I'm constantly eating junk. It's like now I'm focusing all my attention on not gambling I've lost focus on trying to lose weight. Something I need to sort out.
No gambling urges what so ever today. Busy as ever at work.
You can’t do everything at once, For now the crisps and chocolate are better than gambling. One day and one step at a time.
Yes down and out you are absolutely right there, thanks.
Day 28 today. Not much to report really. Busy day at work in the sunshine. No thoughts of gambling today. Feeling strong.
Let's see what tomorrow brings!
Day 30 today.
Bank statement arrived today and it was a lot smaller than usual! So refreshing to not see endless gambling transactions. It really cheered me up.
Popped into chat tonight and earlier at dinner time. That cheered me up too.
Works really busy and the weather's been glorious. That cheered me up too.
Going into the weekend I have absolutely no desire to gamble.
Today's been a good Day!!
Tomorrow will be day 31 and the first little landmark I set myself. If someone had told me 30 days ago you won't gamble for a month I wouldn't have believed them but here I am!! Just need to keep it going.
Gareth1983 wrote: Day 30 today. Bank statement arrived today and it was a lot smaller than usual! So refreshing to not see endless gambling transactions. It really cheered me up. Popped into chat tonight and earlier at dinner time. That cheered me up too. Works really busy and the weather's been glorious. That cheered me up too. Going into the weekend I have absolutely no desire to gamble. Today's been a good Day!! Tomorrow will be day 31 and the first little landmark I set myself. If someone had told me 30 days ago you won't gamble for a month I wouldn't have believed them but here I am!! Just need to keep it going.
Well done on a whole month. One day at a time really works!
Thanks very much.
Day 34 today.
On Saturday I worked on the morning, when I came home at dinner time my partner was out with the kids. It's very rare that I'm in the house on my own so I thought I would make the most of it. Made a cuppa and sat and chilled out. Suddenly got strong urges to gamble. Not sure if it was being alone or boredom. Overcame the urges but it left me stressed out for the day and feeling a bit rubbish. When I got up on Sunday I felt like a different person, on top of the world!! Funny how I can go from one extreme to the other so quickly.
Had a nice day out with my partner and kids on the Sunday for mothers day and gambling didn't even enter my head all day.
No urges since. Still putting a pound in a jar every day I don't gamble. Hopefully have a nice amount by December to put towards Xmas presents for the kids.
Good luck Gareth, day one for me today, I've registered with gamcare. To be honest I feel like c**P but I do need to get my life in order. I can't wait for my first month like you, it'll be nice to get through a day without crying or spending every penny I have on slots.....stay strong!
Thanks Tracey.
The blocks really do help. Registering for gam stop for 5 years has made it so much easier. This site is also helping me massively. Have a read of the diaries on the forum. I've taken a lot of inspiration and advice from them. Maybe check out the chat room too. Loads of support and advice on offer in there.
I'm no expert and am at an early stage of recovery but it is already starting to get a bit easier and I'm thinking about gambling less and less as the days tick by so hang in there!!
Day 37 today.
Not much to report. I've had a good few days since I last posted. I've had no urges. I've kept busy at work getting lots done. I've been in the chat room most nights which is helping also.
I saw an advert for the grand national meeting this morning and it didn't interest me one bit. I'll be at the football when the national is on.
I'm really enjoying not stressing about bets I've got on, what's my next bet going to be? Where can I get more money to gamble? Etc etc. My mind feels a lot clearer at the moment which is good. I've got a good and busy weekend planned.
Feeling good!!
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