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Time to grow up  

 
Shantel17
(@shantel17)

Hi all 

I have been a member for a year and a half and I have told myself I'm going to quit gambling on several occasions. 

I have been gambling around a grand a month now for over two years which is disgraceful. 

Slots are my weakness, the temptation is ridiculously strong and as soon as payday hits my account my world really does fall apart regardless of the blocks I put in place. I am always at my happiness when I have no money left to gamble because when there's no money there is no temptation. 

I like most people here have put several blocks in place from cutting up bank cards to stalling up to gamban etc. 

This weekend I gambled once again and of course I lost because after all we don't gamble till we win we gamble till we lose. 

As of this moment I am hoping and praying to become gamble free. I've said this countless times like most of us but I'm hoping this really is my time to achieve my goal of living a normal happy life. 

I never keep up with these diaries probably because I always fail however this time I'm gonna keep on top of my diary week by week. 

I have put yet another new block in place today. Cut up my temporary bank card and installed contactless mobile on my phone so i have money for when I need food, petrol or I can buy pretty much anything else I want. But for the first time in my life I have absolutely no access to cash and no access to withdraw cash so there will be absolutely no way for me to get my hands on hundreds of pounds and head to the casinos.

Blocks now in place: no access to online gambling, no access to cash or a bank card in my name (however I will still be able to buy things for myself through contactless mobile) I am also half through Allen Carrs the easy way to stop gambling which I hope will give me that extra boost to sort myself out. 

Gambling for me has caused so many issues over the last 2 and a half years its not just the financial side of things it's the lying, the secrets, the anxiety, the depression, the tears, regret and just the overall sadness brings to a gambler day in and day out. 

I want to save up and buy myself my first house (which I easily wouldve done by now if it wasn't for gambling), I want to be able to treat myself to a new outfit or perfume without feeling guilty all the time and most of all I want to just want to be happy. 

This has ruined the last nearly 3 years of my life its drained my confidence and my personality. I used to be such a fun happy person who would go out all the time and love life. Now I'm just constantly sad and regretful and never have a penny to my name to go out and enjoy life. 

Yesterday I put hundreds of pounds into a machine that only had a max five hundred jackpot. I put pretty much that into the machine. I got onto the bonus round once and it give me three quid. Why do we do this!? It's actually embarrassing. 

I have never been as honest on this site before as I am right now. 

Here's to a new beginning. 

I also want to wish every single person the best of luck who's also trying to overcome this horrendous addiction. 

 

 

Quote
Posted : 29th September 2019 6:16 pm
New Mike
(@new-mike)

You can do it that's for sure! I am now 4 days GF and have a good feeling. #staystrong 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 6:40 pm
Shantel17
(@shantel17)

So.. I have just done something I haven't felt ready to do since I started gambling offline. 

I have contacted the 3 venues I visit and self excluded myself. 

I'm genuinely proud of myself for taking this this step. I've never felt ready or brave enough to do this because it's admitting I have a problem. 

But I have finnaly done it! I'm feeling very happy and relieved right now. 

This post was modified 2 months ago by Shantel17
ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 8:07 pm
RouletteRegret
(@rouletteregret)

Hi Shantel,

Thank you for your message of support on my diary. 

I feel your pain reading your posts. Gambling is awful not just financially but how it can change us mentally. Like you, I was always a sociable person who loved a night out with friends but recently everything is about not spending money to pay off gambling debt and I’m just brutally bored with my life.

My issue has always been with roulette. I thought the bookies were bad enough but I’d have a limit on my bank card and couldn’t exceed my withdrawal limit. I joined an online site in June and lost 6k in an hour. I lost more 4 days ago. Two bad hours in the past 6 months and my gambling debt is far worse than it has ever, ever been. It doesn’t seem right.

I will definitely download gamstop but I’ll need to call to do so because I failed the verify process last night after two attempts. My phone is a work phone and I’ve no idea how long the contract has been which was one of the questions- typical.

Anyway, I wish you the very best on your journey and I hope we can be successful in eradicating this life destroying gambling from our lives.

RR

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 9:07 pm
Shantel17
(@shantel17)

Thank you for your message RR. 

I can guarantee you if and when you join gamstop it will be the last time you ever gamble a penny online. 

Get on the phone to them first thing Monday morning. 

I wish you all the best, keep me updated on your progress. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 9:11 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @shantel17 ,

Thank you for sharing your story here on the Forum. It is great to see you have a positive attitude to becoming gamble free. You have done all the right things with having the blocks in place and limiting your access to cash.

I do hope you manage to keep up your recovery diary as it would be good to see your progress. Thank you for your honesty and by sharing it here you are giving support and encouragement to others as well as, I hope, receiving support.

Please don't forget that you can always contact us on the netline or call free on 0808 802 0133 for additional support or if you just want to talk.

All the very best and keep up that positive thinking

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 9:22 pm
Shantel17
(@shantel17)

Hi admin,

I will certainly keep up my diary and positivity at least week by week. 

Thank you 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 10:39 pm
spendspendspend
(@spendspendspend)

This sounds so similar to me I've gambled for years but secretly as no one noes but the guilt I feel is awful it's early days for me 18 days lots of debts to sort out but I gambled £1000 a month if I won I was buzzing for 10 mins then all winnings would go then I would feel sick tortured myself over it but hey ho new start good luck on your journey 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st October 2019 5:22 pm
AlanT75
(@alant75)

305 days GF for me. Blocks are Vital but positivity is also key and if you ever need to talk use the helplines. That was and will never be my way as I am quite a closed person but this site has helped me immensely. Keep faith in yourself and take each day as it comes and deal with whatever situations arrive the best that you can.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st October 2019 6:05 pm
Shantel17
(@shantel17)

DEVELOPMENT 

A quick back story, my dad was diagnosed with dementia last year and my mom had to quit her job and become his full time carer. I noticed she had been online gambling not too much money so I assumed it was under control. Anyway I got hold of he phone yesterday and noticed she had been gambling every night and was losing over £100 a week. Now my mom knows I used to gamble but no where to the extent. So I thought this is my time to be honest and hopefully save my mom in the process and I was honest about everything and I can't tell you what a weight it was lifted off my shoulders. My mom is an online gambler and doesn't have the transport to go to casinos etc plus shes a full time carer and wouldnt be able to do so even if she wanted too. I told her about gamstop and asked her to stop because I was worried about where it was leading. She admitted it was a problem and she wsd struggling to stop and wanted too. So we sat down and signed her up for 5 years exclusion and I'm honestly ecstatic because I know this will save completely save her from gambling. I myself haven't gambled since Sunday and honestly have a spring in my step. I've also had confirmation that I have been excluded from the casino, bingo Hall, services and bookies in my area and I'm thrilled.

I really think this could be it this time. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd October 2019 11:25 am
Shantel17
(@shantel17)
Posted by: spendspendspend

This sounds so similar to me I've gambled for years but secretly as no one noes but the guilt I feel is awful it's early days for me 18 days lots of debts to sort out but I gambled £1000 a month if I won I was buzzing for 10 mins then all winnings would go then I would feel sick tortured myself over it but hey ho new start good luck on your journey 

I wish you all the best. 

YOU can do this! We all can with the right blocks in place, attitude, willpower and positivity. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd October 2019 11:26 am
Shantel17
(@shantel17)

7 days today GF woop woop 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th October 2019 11:20 pm
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