Day two today and alredy the thoughts of playing tomo are coming into my head. The problem is I can deal with them today but tomo night is the problem, I allways act on my impulses and it usually leads to problems then im regretting it on the way home after. Tomo night got to come home and do something good that's better than poker then follow that up each week. Maybe make it a dvd night, just have to buy a dvd in charity shop each weekend and watch it on the Tuesday night! I hope that will work. Might even go to the gym beforehand......just ogt to fill the time that the poker night has done for last two months!.
just on my lunch break at work. Work going pretty well. I haven't touch wood had a sick day since October so coming up to a year which is great. Hoping to get to the year mark. Went to pub poker Tuesday and think ill continue with it so ill stop counting my days now. starting to look forward to winter with fireworks and Christmas however this has involved me being ill in recent years so ill try and be careful with my health.
had a lovely weekend went to see a friend for a bbq yesterday then went out for a roast today.....cant go wrong really
just seen the second trailer for the new star wars gonna be epic! Think I'm staying in this week spent quite a bit this week on football tickets and meals out. Has been good fun tho.
start of the working week got to get into the swing of things.
end of another weekend, not written on here for a week, this weeks been nice and the weekend has been brilliant. Managed to come in on budget for th month after moving some payments onto next two months (was a bust month), cancelled some plans for next week so that i have enough money for the rest of the month. Been budgeting and i am doing great financially and even with the gambling pub poker ive only lost 11 pounds since i started again in may and i intend on keeping at track of it and staying within my 100 pounds a month after bills on everything alltogether. Enjoying life in uk and dont fancy going abroard as the cost is a lot and i can enjoy myself here and spend my money watching football, going to gym and with friends and family. Done 4.5k rowing this week 30 minutes a new record for me so will try to improve distance each week. Had voices last night but just listened to music from 5am till 730am when motd came on tv. over and out, lets do next week. oh and touch wood for fiftieth time in forty days i will have not had a sick day from work for a year!!! now thats gonna be something to celebrate horray.
boy the weeks are just flying by, its wednesday again, another week where it is just flying by, life is just flying by, need to stop and take a deep look at things. I went on fruit machines last night, only three pounds change after i bought a drink but know this could escalate. Going back to old ways would be such as shame. Going to add it to my poker spreadsheet so i can keep an eye on spending, also thinking about it on saturday i played on fruitmachine (didtn lose), then went into a bookie im excluded from and placed a bet of two pounds on liverpool , won 16 pounds then played poker in the evening. so all in all i played poker last week tuesdau, thursday and saturday and played fruit machine and bet in a bookie. Really shouldnt be able to do that, i know i cant do it responsibly so why start again? Have to take a step back and look at it from an outsider looking in. Was it boredom, no ive been interested in the football and going to the pub is where i watch it which is enough to interest me without the betting. The thing is i didnt lose on fruit machine and i didnt lose on the football bet and you know deep down that not many people can quit after a win they only quit after a huge loss, one which is coming for me soon if i don't stop straight away. So ill take a long look at myself over the next week and stay in and not go to pub. England game should be on normal tv so i can watch at home this weekend and not think about betting. Then next tuesday make sure i dont go on fruit machine again. I've been able to just watch frinds play fruitmachines for a year without betting on them even a pound so i guess i just forget about the misery and think just maybe ill win just one pound is all i need. The thing is in that year i dont think ive ever seen one of my mates win on one and i still look at playing again, it really is soo stupendessly stupid of me. One the plus side im seing brighton next saturday with my nephew for his first game then watching spurs 5th october!! so bang up for those. Over the past three months ived gambled ive only lost 11 pounds plus the money spent on soft drinks, ive played 15 times since i started in may. So overall its been rather successful entertainment but i need to step back a bit and make sure i keep it to ONCE a week and NO FRUIT MACHINES and NO GOING IN BOOKIES! if i can keep to this ill continue to go to pub poker and see those friends, if not ill stop altogether and see if i can manage a whole calender year i got up to 294 days so theres no reason why i can't do the whole year.
Hi Adam,
pretty depressing reading seeing you back on the machines and bookies even though only small stakes. I think you know where this ends up.
i don’t think you should be playing poker either to be honest. You seem to be normalising gambling, focusing on the fact that it hasn’t cost you much so far. You even mention somewhere about thinking of going to Vegas. This is troubling- it’s the fantasy world that all us gamblers indulged in, its not healthy behaviour.
if we could gamble normally then we wouldn’t be on here. You had an immense 9 months, why risk going back to the old ways ?
wishing you well anyway.
Im getting thru day two, fleeting thoughts of going to poker tonight, wont lie twenty minuites ago I was close to being on the way there. But just calmed myself down and gave myself a talking to, ive got to make it to atleast next tueday before a poker game. I really don't know whether I can see myself playing this restrained poker once a week and going to the pub and not playing on machines or whether im kidding myself that I can do this. I do restrict my cash and card when going out which mens I can only spend a maximum amount of money when out. I have taken my ebit card out in recent months when going to town and its not been a problem but I think as I went on the fruit machine ill make sure I leave it at home each time from now on to make sure no accidents can happen and the gambling hangovers will never follow the next day. I do transfer all my pay each motnh to my parents still and that works well and take back cash when I need it so with all the blocks everything I can do to stop the gambling I do. As just described ive been stronger and stronger thu the year then relaxed my bariers and start ed again I think its perfectly natural occurance to happen after a relapse. I've recently also asked that my inheritance from parents goes into a trust that my sister will control so I have to get authorisation before getting any money out, I personally want to give all the inheritance to my sister for my nephews and niece for when their older and I personally only spend what I earn. So in a way ive already put a block on the risk of wasting any of that money too.
Also i really want to ay thanks for the posts as I didn't think anyone was reading anymore not had a post since may when i looked so thanks for taking the time its much appreciated and I wanted to show that ive thought about ur posts and am putting actions into what you've advised.
Day three look at me!!!!, had a chat to gabriele on cht tonight and i've gambled again for three months and not lost much, had a good run and seen friends again so i think i can tighten up my reigns and go on a no gambling streak again. It will take a lot of effort especially as im still not drinking. I will need o focus on different activities other than work and gym this time. It might be tough going to the pub as i went on fruit machin last time i was there so i think for the next two months ill just pass on pubs and watch bt sport for football. Start of the weekend and almost went out to a poker game but stayed strong, i think it will just tke a month or so of saying no for the habbit to kick in and the friends to get used to not inviting me again. Over and out.
Day four, staying in this weekend to get a good head start on this!!!!, watching england in half an hour hopefully they get a good result.
Another successful non gambling day. Woke up early, done some diy, went for a drive, went to the gym, looked into internet dating so i can get back on the scene, sent some messages to potential nice women in my local area, had dinner, washed up, now going to look at my spreadsheet for budgeting for the month. Off to watch footy next saturday which should be good fun. Not looking forward to the challenge of not gambling next week but got to start somewhere and this is where i am at. over and out
IMhere on day seven and its the hardest day for me as its poker day, i wish i could not want to go but i do.....need to find strength from somewhere
Well done Adam. You've got this. You can do it xxxx
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