hi everyone. I introduced myself in the new members area yesterday having finally admitted to myself I have a gambling problem. I would like to share my progress with you all as I feel this will give me strength in overcoming my addiction and getting my finances back to a place where I want to be. This is day 10 gambling free my biggest hurdle has been the mental and emotional strain it has had on me this week waking up to the realisation of what I have done and what I am become. This is not the man I know I am and who I want to become. Today while sitting at work I realised that my focus and determination that I j ow I have will support me through my journey. I would like to share my journey each month and offer support and advice to anyone who feels they are alone. That used to be me but no more
Well that’s me hit my first mental milestone. It’s been two weeks since I finally admitted to myself that I needed to change. Ive completed my second session of councilling In Friday and its great to have someone to speak to. My next session is in two weeks so I have decided to use this as the next marker this will bring me around the 30 day mark. I know it’s going to be a long road to recovery but I am willing to take it. I’m sure we all feel sometimes that we wish we had a time machine to flash forward through these tough times and come out the other end. I know this isn’t going to be the case here as I need to focus on the positives but also use the past experienced pains and hurt to emphasise what this addiction has done to me and how it will never do that to me again. The thing I am struggling with the most is the mental side as sometimes my mind can wonder and I start thinking 6 months 12 months ahead what if x y and z happen. I know in myself this is not the case and to take one day at a time. Does anyone have any similar experience of that happening to them if you wouldn’t mind sharing. If I can continue on the path I have started on I can be cleared of my debt in the next three years. I’d gladly trade three years for a lifetime of freedom from this curse
As gamblers we tend to want everything here and now. Similar with debt issues we want them resolved as soon as possible, higher repayments to clear the debt sooner or consolidated debt to provide a manageable monthly amount. Always in a rush and always having a plan to resolve our issues.
I can only speak for myself but on both the above occasions I went back to gambling, unfortunately heavier than before.
I feel that I've learnt my lesson this time, I've accepted there's no quick fix and no need to rush this recovery. Improvement in my Mental Health can only occur by abstaining from gambling, working on my many character defects and taking each day at a time. I feel I've come to terms with debt issues, I now understand that there's no rush in repaying it, I'm better repaying what I can afford (subject to agreement), and that having debt provides me with a reminder of how I got here, plus helps me in my appreciation of the value of money.
I believe something has clicked this time with a realisation that I no longer need this in my life. Also aware that next time a period of gambling will finally end my life.
The only advice I can give is don't rush the recovery, don't be in a rush to resolve all your issues, both financially and emotionally, quickly. And take each day at a time.
All the best.
Hi there Newme and welcome to the forum :)) .
I'm glad that your finding councilling and having someone to talk to beneficial , we all need to talk sometimes just get it all out there and once I stopped gambling found for me opening up to my family was hugely beneficial
As for advice I'd say maybe don't focus on the debt or the past to much , I know that's easier said than done especially when it's still early day's but your not a bad person and like myself just made a few wrong choices in life .
Someone once told me " It's ok to look back just don't stare " which I think is kinda good advice , the debt you have can also be paid off over time and again as someone much wiser once said " Recovery's for life so what's the rush " ?.
I'd be inclined to just keep with the one day at a time approach for now as they all add up to weeks and months and from my experience it does get easier :))
Forgot to mention. Attending Gamblers Anonymous (GA) meetings can also help. Provides the ability to speak to like minded people, share a forum in which similar issues are discussed and also provides you with the ability to help others. Helps very much in the recovery program.
Whilst some say it may not be for them it does work for others. We always say try it for 90days (12 to 13 meetings) before a decision, but from experience 99% get the bug and generally stay.