If I was to come across this post randomly and read about a person who was trying to give advice to me, it would read; whatever you did in the past, it doesn't matter. The emotions that run through your head and feed your body with uncomfortable sensations, ignore them...They pass. Get out there and fight! Fight for everything you deserve! Not everyone loves you and it will be difficult at times. And I know you are strong! Be honest with yourself...Deal with who you truly are, your story is probably exactly similar to many...You are very normal, in fact you are great. Go and achieve, be proud in sickness and health. Live, love, laugh and smile.
The best gift is what you already have and the experience is always positive if you look at it differently. So wipe away the negative and re tell your story full of glory and happiness, because that is what it is....I hope you are out there somewhere reading this? .....I am, its me!
I am here right now and that is all that matters. I do not know or care what happens tomorrow because I'm finding peace now.
Anxiety has played a role in my life over the past 2 years. So, many things affect my gut...However, I know for sure that the gambling is something that contributed to all of this. I can still feel the feeling I got from the bbig and I mean big losses. Quite strange for a guy that is poor. The other thing that strikes me is; I'm supposedly living good as a non gambler, but I still don't have any money? Besides, where on Earth did I get that money from that I used to squander?
I guess I learned to program my brain to be 'Gambling itself'. It relates so much to anxiety/extreme anxiety and full blown panic. Yes, it's learnt alright and there is only so much a person can take of those types of feelings/emotions.
Mental health is a major epidemic and I wonder why? Have a good think about where everyone is actually going. The best advice on the market is, find a way to unwind and relax. The best gift that could be given is life...Try to appreciate it.
OCD, PTSD & ICD, all related and I guess since I stopped gambling I had an obsession with Fear. This is where that next gamble eventually leads to. Thankfully I am on some medication now and the FEAR memory is going down considerably. The odd thing is I am not on Antidepressants because I'm not actually depressed. I just have an anxiety disorder; exercise, diet, meditation, reading and rest did nothing to shift it. Medicine and therapy (mainly exposure) has to be key to beat this horrible, horrible curse.
Veey welldone on your impressive work in recovery! Your posts doesn't sound strict youre talking the thruth!
This addiction is an illness...and quite destroying one too..so these serious posts are mirroring the seriousness in addiction with even more serious outcomes.
Hope you're keeping safe & at peace
All the best - S&B xx
Well I resigned at work and decided I want some 'me' time. It has miraculously eased some of my anxiety because I'm no longer a slave to the system. I am very real living proof that you can come back from a very near death experience that was harvested from addiction. At the very root I was messed up- totally. My brain chemistry was all over the place...I fought and fought and now I am more confident than I have ever been. The learning curve has beeen tremendous.
The secret is SURVIVAL....
I realise that the human body right down to a chemical cellular level is programmed to survive!
On the other hand, things do and can go wrong...If it does, which it probably will...Just be kind to yourself, and forgive nature...Because that is all it is...Nature is taking its course and we are just a part of it.
Money is man made....
Recently I have actually been thinking about the material things in life, even relationships with others...
I cannot stress this enough to myself and others...
What we are really seeking out? If it is pleasure you will be disappointed for we already have it...Wha I'm saying is nature is full of wonderful stuff. Why would we want anything else other that is already there? Perfect and free. Somebody made this planet and it was given to us for absolutely nothing. So, whatever we are searching for look no further, we already have it. All I have been trying to do for the past 2 years is trying to get back to myself. The only thing that really helped me is; sun, moon, stars, sky, sea, land and finally social face to face interaction....The most difficult thing was social interaction, however, it takes a long time to get back to where you should be. Once I arrived I was a much better version of my previous self. My personality is much more forward and I really do not care about the judgement upon who I actually am...All I know is..I'm here and I'm surviving and that is everything to me/....