Starting over again.

40 Posts
11 Users
0 Likes
2,512 Views
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

So a bit about myself. 31 year old single mum of 2, I started dabbling with online slots a year ago. Oh how I wish I'd never started! Just the odd 100 quid every few weeks or so and after a few big wins I was hooked. By June I decided to start excluding as I was still making withdrawals but the wins were starting to slow down and I was gambling more often. I kept a few accounts open and just played once every 6 weeks or so.
Fast-forward to December and my relationship with my partner breaks down. I stop eating. I start drinking. And I hit the slots hard. I've always been able to withdraw winnings but during this binge which lasted a few weeks and saw me lose my last 1700 from my savings,I won about 2000 and sucessfully managed to lose that too.
So here I am on day 3. Feeling strong. I've seen rock bottom and it's opened my eyes. I've excluded from everything,I have nothing left to play with now anyway. I'm lucky that I do seem to have some restraint when it comes to rent/bill money and never play with that. I'm opening an isa that I can't withdraw from and I'm going to start building up my savings again. I have a budget in place to ensure all my spare money next year goes on paying debts or saving. In 12 months time I will be in a whole new world.
I never want to feel the way I felt last week ever again. I'm looking forward to a brighter gf life and I hope you will all join me on my journey.
I will be posting regularly on here as I think this will help. Thankyou for reading my story and good luck to all x

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 12:20 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi LH, I'm new to this forum as well I don't know how to post a topic or create one...was just browsing through and seen this. I know the feeling buddy I've been there and still am here in this rut since about June this year. Lost over 7k since then. Was recently up 1k last night and lost it all on a sports game. 400 bet and a 600 bet and I just had a feeling I was going to lose and it still didn't stop me. Now I've no money or nothing to get presents or for my children . I'm desperate and can't seem to stop chasing my losses or can't even enjoy it sensibly. It's like I don't care or addicted to losing it's strange very strange. I've nobody to talk to or anything. I keep trying to chase because it will take me guts of 6/7 months to recoup my losses. As I only started gambling heavy this year with big stakes. When I win I'm on top of the world. When I lose I feel so depressed have lots of cigarettes and just don't want to talk or have any interaction with anyone. I don't know how people do it and just stop....I've 540 going into my account tonight after midnight. And I'm already thinking about throwing it on the late NBA game at 3:35 am. And then thinking ok I'll win tonight get 900 back then withdraw it all for my Christmas presents for everyone.. and worse thing is that nobody can stop us from doing it it's so easy to just log into my betting account online and place it tonight. It's going to be very very very difficult ..... I don't know if I should try chase tonight. See I am already thinking about it and it's only 3:30 in the afternoon.

Anyways man I'm here for a chat... I might not be someone who has recovered already.but I'm trying to and would be great to have a chat as ive nobody to chat to

Take care

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 3:32 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

I am far from recovery. I always gambled for fun and enjoyed it but now I know I can't play for fun. I can't win cuz I won't allow myself to win. I'll spend it all. Try and stay strong and think of what that 540 could do for you and your family. Forget the winnings cuz if you win you may well lose it all again. It's hard I know but self exclusion is the best thing I've done.
To post your own topic click on the forum and scroll down past the posts to the bottom and there's a button that says new topic. Start a diary in here I'm finding it's helping me. Stop this madness today and make a fresh start. Were all in this together and here for support. Noone will judge x

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 4:39 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Please don't waste your last 500, you will put yourself in an early grave. If you must gamble and can't fight the urge, tell yourself there is always tomorrow to chase and hope and pray tomorrow never comes

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 6:52 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Morga wrote: Hi LH, I'm new to this forum as well I don't know how to post a topic or create one...was just browsing through and seen this. I know the feeling buddy I've been there and still am here in this rut since about June this year. Lost over 7k since then. Was recently up 1k last night and lost it all on a sports game. 400 bet and a 600 bet and I just had a feeling I was going to lose and it still didn't stop me. Now I've no money or nothing to get presents or for my children . I'm desperate and can't seem to stop chasing my losses or can't even enjoy it sensibly. It's like I don't care or addicted to losing it's strange very strange. I've nobody to talk to or anything. I keep trying to chase because it will take me guts of 6/7 months to recoup my losses. As I only started gambling heavy this year with big stakes. When I win I'm on top of the world. When I lose I feel so depressed have lots of cigarettes and just don't want to talk or have any interaction with anyone. I don't know how people do it and just stop....I've 540 going into my account tonight after midnight. And I'm already thinking about throwing it on the late NBA game at 3:35 am. And then thinking ok I'll win tonight get 900 back then withdraw it all for my Christmas presents for everyone.. and worse thing is that nobody can stop us from doing it it's so easy to just log into my betting account online and place it tonight. It's going to be very very very difficult ..... I don't know if I should try chase tonight. See I am already thinking about it and it's only 3:30 in the afternoon. Anyways man I'm here for a chat... I might not be someone who has recovered already.but I'm trying to and would be great to have a chat as ive nobody to chat to Take care

Quite spooky reading that as your thought/behaviour patterns remind me so much of my own. NBA was also my favourite thing to bet on and I love basketball. I’ve had big winners like when I lumped on the knicks to beat the cavs earlier on in the season when cavs were in a slump. I then put some of the winnings onto Detroit to beat GSW as it was tight in the forth and I saw value, they won. I had a huge pot and felt elated. Did that matter though? No because I gave it all back and more over the coming day’s. Any wins almost always go straight back into the bookies hands with more on top. We have no discipline and no control. I’m becoming more and more sure by the day that the bookies are aware of these flaws in our nature and prey on them. Like LH said make a diary and connect with people, today is only day 2 for me after another recent relapse but being on this forum is a huge help. When you take a step back gambling is such a horrible thing in the cold light of day. We don’t need it, we can get by without it.

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 6:54 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Tonight is a big deal for me, I'm having a drink and mulling over life stuff as you do. But I'm not gambling! I did my washing. I cleaned my oven for God sake! Now I'm watching a film. Anything but turning to those slots. We can all do this we just need to stick together for support x

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 9:33 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Magnetism wrote:

I can relate to what you are saying. The ISA is a good thing I had one. But became desperate and unlocked it. From a personal perspective (and it goes against the grain) I have always found locking money away or giving cards to someone doesn't really give you what you want. I think if you have made the choice to be responsible you truly will stick to it...Another thing, from your post you do seem a responsible person (bills etc) therefore just make up your mind to not gamble anymore.

Thanks for your comments. I guess I am fairly responsible at times. And as a single parent I really can't give control of my finances to anyone as my family are miles away. This is mind over matter for me but I really do feel strong right now. I hope it lasts x

 
Posted : 18th December 2017 9:36 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Haven't placed any bets.. urges are there big time, just going to try and go to sleep now

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 12:04 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Well done Morga, reading that brought a smile to my face. Wake up and be happy and proud of the fact that you chose not to inflict further damage. Gambling will not provide solutions and will only create problems.

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 12:14 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Looking over this I feel I can side with similar stories as I'm determined to stop as I've gambled big time this year started as fun..now I'm Wel and truly stuck in a great big hole. I Wil get out befor it takes me under ..!! I saw nothing in wastin my money n then decided what on earth am in doin!?.. summats got t give n it's not me..it's guna be the slots!!

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 12:15 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Well done Morga I was hoping you would steer clear. Stay strong!

Winnernotaloser that's exactly what it is, a waste of money. Knocks me sick when I think what I could've done with all that money I've lost since last December. But hey ho it's gone and all we can do is look forward to where we can be next December if we can stick this out. I know a lot of exclusions on my favourite sites are due to expire over the next 4 weeks and the first thing I'm going to do is re-exclude myself again for the longest time possible. I will not let this monster beat me x

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 3:41 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Lh8609 wrote: Well done Morga I was hoping you would steer clear. Stay strong! Winnernotaloser that's exactly what it is, a waste of money. Knocks me sick when I think what I could've done with all that money I've lost since last December. But hey ho it's gone and all we can do is look forward to where we can be next December if we can stick this out. I know a lot of exclusions on my favourite sites are due to expire over the next 4 weeks and the first thing I'm going to do is re-exclude myself again for the longest time possible. I will not let this monster beat me x

Iv also wasted soooooo much money I'm also a single parent and feel so terrible after money is gone it's not goin to beat me either

X

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 7:19 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

I just think of my girls and the life I can give them if I can break free from this awful addiction x

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 8:46 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Morga, my advice is don't trust yourself this Gambling fries your mind. Listen to the advice on here take a couple of days and then plan your next step.

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 9:46 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Lh8609

My little boy is the only thing that pulls me through I look at him n think Wel b ok I just need to shake free from the viscious circle i feel so very ashamed of my self

Frozen ..you are totally right It fries your mind n makes you something you don't want to be

 
Posted : 19th December 2017 2:32 pm
Page 1 / 3

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close