So far so good

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(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Hey bladesman, means a lot that you came on to post for my year and I hope that your not coming on much means that you are feeling really strong now in fact I'm sure that you are ?? Don't be a stranger I expect at least quarterly updates !! Lol take care mate stay strong ???

 
Posted : 8th June 2021 4:30 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

????bladesman????a whole year since you reclaimed your life. Well done YOU ?????

 
Posted : 10th June 2021 1:34 pm
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)
Posts: 3947
 

Congratulations Bladesman.

One year gamble-free.

Aum ?

 
Posted : 10th June 2021 4:19 pm
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
Topic starter
 

So here I am a year and 2 days gamble free. Can't really believe how I have got here after the horror of the previous 5 years. Thinking back to the beginning and the aftershock from my wife finding out I never thought we would get through the first few weeks never mind a whole year. It's not been easy with many other things to deal with along with the pandemic which I have mentioned previously, but, here we are. 

This weekend has been really like the old times, at my wifes suggestion we went for a nice meal and a few drinks on Saturday to celebrate, acknowledge or commemorate the year, whichever word feels right. We discussed how we both can't believe how well I have done and that at the beginning we both feared the worst but we have a strong bond after 31 years of marriage and were both prepared to fight for the future in our own ways.

Looking back, once found out it was not difficult for me to stop the gambling as the reason for carrying on, to try and recover the debt without being found out, stupid we all know, had gone. The difficult part was coming to terms with what I had done and how much I had hurt my close family.

With the support of Gamcare, the counselling they provided and the help and support of other members wounds began to heal. The main reason I am still on the right track though is the understanding and support I have had from my wife and kids. My wife says she came to terms with it by understanding it is an illness that I am recovering from. Without them I don't know where I would be now.

Thanks for the message Charlieboy and Aum, they are much appreciated as we all travel further away from this evil.

Stay strong out there!

 
Posted : 14th June 2021 4:00 pm
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
Topic starter
 

401 days! wow that's passed quick since the year mark. Life is good and lots of good things to look forward to with lockdown easing, Sons wedding at third attempt, fingers crossed, daughter buying her first house and life in general on the up. Don't think I've felt this good for years but no complacency.

Onwards and upwards

 
Posted : 18th July 2021 2:18 pm
(@adam123)
Posts: 2795
 

Hi There,  Just read up on ur diary and wanted to congratulate yourself on such a great achievement.......  One year is no doubt a huge barrier to break and youve not stopped there.  You know the life away from gambling is soo much more fruitful and thats how it will stay.

 

All the best Adam

 
Posted : 18th July 2021 3:49 pm
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
Topic starter
 

Hi Adam, thanks for your message it's much appreciated. 

 
Posted : 18th July 2021 9:23 pm
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
Topic starter
 

Day 451, had a wonderful few days, my son finally got married this week after 2 postponements and 14 months later than planned. Days like this certainly bring home how much family means. 

Don't post much these days but keep reading most days because this helps keep me grounded. Reading posts from new members reminds me where I was last June and reminds me not to be complacent as it could only take 1 slip to throw away all the good work. Also there are people who started out roughly the same time as me, you know who you are, who have been on the long journey with me and are still on the straight and narrow. These people inspire me to keep going as we know life is so much better than it was in the dark days of the past.

To anyone just starting out please take the positives from the success stories as you struggle to come to terms with your addiction. It can be done.

Stay strong out there! 🙂

 
Posted : 4th September 2021 1:05 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Hey bladesman, haven't been on for a while decided to have a read today. Couldn't come on without posting on your thread. Hope you're doing great I'm still going well we're coming up on 500 days would you believe it !!! Wow. I think about how you're doing often as we started our journeys so closely, hope things are continuing well for you xx

 
Posted : 9th October 2021 11:46 am
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
Topic starter
 

Day 500!!! A milestone but no more important than yesterday was or tomorrow will be. Recently been thinking how I got here and what the future holds. I have no urges to gamble anymore but is that because I know I can't due to the blockers in place and still have no access to money. If these weren't there would I be tempted, the honest answer is I don't know, so the blockers can stay there forever for me.

We hear about addiction to alcohol and drugs with people getting dependant on these and can be seen. This is completely different, it's invisible and I would use the word compulsion for me as I kept going hoping to win back my losses before I was found out. That obviously didn't happen so once my wife found out the compulsion disappeared and instantly there was no reason for me to keep going and I now feel I can now live without it. I still carry the guilt and shame of what I did and how it has affected those close to me but life is so much better.

Still reading stories of new and old members, sometimes commenting trying to help and encourage others and by reading these they also help me stay positive. I also hope my story gives encouragement to other members that it is possible to beat this with the right help and support

Onwards and upwards!

 

This post was modified 2 years ago by Bladesman
 
Posted : 23rd October 2021 6:59 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5944
Admin
 

Good Evening Bladesman

Congratulations on achieving 500 days gamble free!! This is a fantastic milestone and one you can be proud of. 

Continue to take each day at a time and keep posting on the forum! 

Wishing you all the best 

Ricki 

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 23rd October 2021 8:35 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Hey Bladesman, sorry I worried u. I hadn't logged on for weeks and I started to feel like it had all never happened, then I suddenly out of the blue thought " is this complacency? Is my mind tricking me that I don't have a problem anymore? "  Gave me a jolt as I also discovered that I had missed an Expert by Experience meeting, so  I really think I have started to become complacent. And I know that's not a good thing so here I am taking a step into reminding myself how bad it was and committing to being proactive again. I must admit logging on felt familiar and safe, and I'm really happy you're doing good. Today I think is 550 !!but as I've seen u write it really is just a number, what's important to me is that I've recognised that I WILL ALWAYS BE a compulsive gambler.....sad but true !! Take care ?

 
Posted : 5th December 2021 10:55 am
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
Topic starter
 

Day 562, Christmas eve so want to wish everyone a merry Christmas whether you are just starting out on your recovery or well on the way to beating this. This will be my second Christmas gamble free and life is good. It's been a dificult year for many reasons but still moving forward. Thanks for all the kind messages of support and encouragement this year and I hope my comments on other peoples posts have helped along the way. 

Looking forward to next year and gradually reducing my debt, thankyou Stepchange for saving me from disaster 18 months ago. Thankyou Gamcare for being there when I needed you most and finally thanks to my wife for her unerring support 

All the best to everyone

 
Posted : 24th December 2021 10:41 pm
Forum admin reacted
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)
Posts: 3947
 
Posted by: Bladesman

Day 562, Christmas eve so want to wish everyone a merry Christmas whether you are just starting out on your recovery or well on the way to beating this. This will be my second Christmas gamble free and life is good. It's been a dificult year for many reasons but still moving forward. Thanks for all the kind messages of support and encouragement this year and I hope my comments on other peoples posts have helped along the way. 

Looking forward to next year and gradually reducing my debt, thankyou Stepchange for saving me from disaster 18 months ago. Thankyou Gamcare for being there when I needed you most and finally thanks to my wife for her unerring support 

All the best to everyone

Congratulations Bladesman on your excellent progress in recovery. 

Wishing you every happiness over Christmas and throughout the coming year. 

Stephen ?

 
Posted : 25th December 2021 12:09 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Hey hey hey bladesman is at 600 days today. Well done m8 one day at a time ?

 
Posted : 1st February 2022 1:40 pm
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