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Slots - My Recovery  

 
ScottMU
(@scottmu)

Hi everybody,

I'm new here, just posted my first topic in the introductions forum. Long story short, I have finally admitted that I have an addiction to online slots, I explain more in the other forums.

I thought I'd make a quick post here too seeing as I guess this is Day 1 of my recovery. No idea how or if I will get around to updating this but here it is.

Day 1

So today I reached out to Gamcare after finding out about them on the NHS website. I spoke to a really wonderful person via Live Chat who helped me discover tools to aid me in my recovery. 

I have now self-excluded myself from online casinos using Gamstop and have installed Gamban to block access to them entirely.

The advisor I spoke to also directed me to these forums and has kindly made a referral for me to have 1-1 therapy/counselling for my, let's call it what it is, illness, of course this will be over the phone at the moment due to the pandemic. 

 

I won't lie, I'm scared beyond belief and at the moment all I can think about are the d**n reels and pay-lines. I just want it to stop. 

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Posted : 5th January 2021 10:08 am
Bladesman
(@bladesman)

Hi Scott welcome and well done for making the step. I can relate to how scared you are as will so many others. What you have done is a good start and very similar to me. I contacted gamcare and had counselling which I was very worried about but it was great being able to talk to someone without being judged and very therapeutic. We all start on day 1 no matter how successful we become so be proud you have made the start. It's what you do from here that counts.

One other suggestion I would make is to contact your bank and ask them to put a block on gambling transactions.

Well done and good luck

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th January 2021 12:38 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Well done for admitting you had a problem Scott I exactly understand how you feel it will get better the longer you abstain good luck pal

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th January 2021 1:01 pm
Soysauce147
(@soysauce147)

Hi ScottMu,

Thankyou for sharing your story. It can be a scary time because there are plenty of time, opportunity and money.

I do have a suggestions or two

1. Sign up with Monzo bank (bank lives on your mobile) and bars all gambling transactions. 

2. Create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling.  This acts as a visual record of how many gamble free days and a motivational tool as well. So in a year, you should see £364 in the pot.

I hope this helps.

Xoi

Ps A thousand miles begin with one step 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th January 2021 3:24 pm
klamm
(@klamm)

Make sure you are unable to deposit online even if you desperately try. Double cross yourself. If needed cancel the card and wipe out the last 3 when u get new 1. Otherwise it will happen again. Slots are evil

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th January 2021 8:23 pm
ScottMU
(@scottmu)

Day 3

I received an email yesterday regarding my referral for counselling, made the call today and have an assessment appointment over the phone scheduled for Monday. I also took part in a phone interview as part of a research study to do with the issue. All in all it's been a positive day.

I won't lie, I have thought about online slot machines nearly every second. Worried about my finances and how a small £20-50 deposit could easily change my financial situation for the better. Thankfully speaking about it and of course the blocking apps on my phone etc. have helped and I haven't attempted to get around those. 

I also told my wife the truth, about my recent activities and losing my 'big win' from about a week ago. She was sad and disappointed but also very supportive and then nestled her head into my chest and was pleased I had began addressing the issue and taking steps into recovery. It feels good that I don't have to lie anymore and make out our finances are something they're not. It was getting tiresome dodging the topic of money.

Hopefully this all continues and things get easier...

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th January 2021 5:55 pm
ScottMU
(@scottmu)

Day 8

I had wanted to make a diary post yesterday for my 7th day but for some reason I was unable to reply to any topics or start threads. Unsure why. 

I had a phone assessment with a counselling service yesterday who told me I am eligible to receive help so I'm looking forward to that.

On the whole though I'm finding it hard to keep my mind off the thought of the online slot machines. I'm pretty much skint again now and I keep thinking if I was able to just deposit a small amount I could easily be financially OK again a short while afterwards. But I've still got Gamban in place etc and I've not found myself looking for dodgy sites that won't be flagged up by it which I guess is progress. 

My wife yesterday, after overhearing some of my conversation with the counselling service, decided to bring the topic up with me which I didn't appreciate tbh. The word selfish was tossed around, which I understand to a degree but it wasn't helpful, she was thinking about the money I'd lost this month and getting agitated about it. She also doesn't *** how I could still have a problem what with me self-excluding and having the blocking software. I couldn't really be bothered trying to explain because the atmosphere wasn't great and I don't fully understand it myself yet. 

Hopefully things get easier. 

This post was modified 1 week ago by ScottMU
ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th January 2021 12:11 am
ScottMU
(@scottmu)

P.s. I noticed the word g-r-a-s-P was flagged and starred out. Sorry if this is against the rules just wasn't sure if it was a mistake or not. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th January 2021 12:26 am
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