Hello Lively hope you are having a good day.
Hopefully you are now off work for a little while and can enjoy some you time. Sounds a good idea to sort out your clothes and think I might do the same. My motto (now that I don't gamble) is: "If something hasn't been worn for a year than off it goes to the charity shop 🤣😂."
Enjoyed reading your last post. You have a delightful style of writing that keeps the reader engrossed in what you are writing about. Just like my river, it flows along quite nicely.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
Thank you for posting on my diary Lively. Now that I know you will be in the chatroom this evening I will definitely be there.
Hope you are feeling good and your back is feeling better. It is certainly beautiful weather to be outside, making hay while the sun shines. Mind you I don't use a lot of hay so tend to go for a walk instead 🤣😂.
You have been on my mind after learning that you used to visit prison where you passed on your knowledge to those who have fallen foul of the law. 100% respect to you for helping in the rehabilitation of offenders. I imagine it to be very challenging but your hard work, dedication and compassionate nature will have greatly improved many peoples lives.
Best wishes to a wonderful lady.
From Stephen x
Glad to see your post and that you’ve been keeping busy. The work was really rewarding and I really enjoyed it except for the politics of course. Some people aren’t inherently bad and like us, have made bad decisions whilst others are bad to the core but some can be redeemed with the right education and support so it was very rewarding. Look forward to catching you in chat later.
Day 117 - life is good.
Today I have enjoyed sitting in the sunshine, doing very little and enjoying being surrounded by the peace and calm. What a great feeling that is.
I am now happy in my own company, something I always struggled with before, always feeling lonely or bored and then the temptation would be there. There are no temptations, just peace and clarity. I am grateful I am in this place now and hope that others here can also find this from a gf life.
Wishing everyone a good gf day!
Good morning Lively 🏃♀️😊🧘♂️ on this beautiful sunny morning.
Thoroughly enjoy reading your posts and the most recent one in your diary has given me a real lift. I see you as a very inspiring lady who gives much to the world and you have my respect.
I will be visiting chatroom at 10 o clock but you said you would not be there so hopefully will see you in the chatroom this evening.
Best wishes for a lovely day.
Good morning dear lady 🌤 It is indeed a beautiful day.
My head is looking a bit red so I must remember to wear a hat today.
Closed my eyes and got a picture of you travelling so hope you have a lovely day with lots of fun and happy smiles 🤗🤸♂️😊.
There is an awesome lady known as Lively Soul
Standing proud, gamble free & ready to rock n roll
Search the whole world over and never would one find
A legend like our Lively 🧘♂️ so friendly, caring and kind
Thank you Stephen for your lovely post and poem. 🙂 Hope I might catch you in chat tomorrow.
Day 120 done
Well 120 days have now passed which is pretty much 4 months. I had a read back through my diary the other day and just cannot believe how different my life is 4 months on. Still no urges or desire which I am very happy with. I did wonder if this would wear off after a month or two but I feel stronger about what a wretched thing gambling is then ever so that’s great.
I had a lovely day yesterday except for not being able to sleep.
Today I had a relatively quiet, relaxing day sat in the garden, enjoying the sunshine and thinking about the future. It was nice!
I ended up going on a little spontaneous trip to Tesco’s this evening to get something I needed. It was nice having a mooch around and before I knew it, I’d filled my trolley with a whole array of things and spent a small fortune on a few food items and then some household items like pillows, fluffy cushions and stuff for me and my daughter. I was like a kid in a sweet shop. This is something I’d never have been able to do before or I’d have overthought everything and have second thoughts about it and end up putting it back. This evening, there was none of that indecisiveness of the past, if I liked the look of something then in the trolley it went - no second thought.
This is something I could have only dreamed of before and if I ever did go on a little shop, there would be all these thoughts about what the consequences would be. What can I reduce and where to make up the difference. The feeling of being able to do this tonight, knowing there are no consequences left me feeling ecstatic. Three days before payday and regardless of my little shopping trip I still have money in the bank. It almost feels surreal. I put all the shopping in my boot, got in the car and I drove home with the biggest smile on my face feeling very happy with my purchases. 😁
I never thought life could be this good as I have spent so many years focused on the stress and worry of gambling that for the first time in my life, I actually feel like I’m living.
For anyone who is still trying to stop or in their early days, I assure you that the hard work to stay gf really is worth it and it does get better. Just hang in there and soon you will start to feel like your ‘living’ again too.
Well done lively
I'm so glad your doing well and getting on with your life gamble free. You make me proud you've left me some lovely words when I was low just like so many strangers actually worried how we're doing I just think it's a wonderful thing especially in this day and age. Keep up what your doing as you've got the formula one day at a time and you've done a lot off them, I'm going to have to go for now as my push button start on my car isn't working would normally go to garage but after what I lost it's back to doing it myself. Hope to hear or see your comments soon
Congratulations Lively on your excellent progress. You are 120 days into your gamble free adventure and are determined to rediscover over your life.
Not only do I have the utmost respect for your courage, integrity and resilience, I also respect the compassion and understanding you show to others in recovery.
Reading of your shopping expedition to Tesco brought a big smile of understanding to my face. It is, like you say, a surreal but enjoyable experience to put little treats in the trolley without worrying about the state of our finances.
Thank you for visiting my diary earlier. I love your poem and reading it made me laugh and smile. I will be writing it out in coloured gel pens to put on display in my kitchen.
Wishing you a nice relaxing weekend. I am still sending healing vibes for your poorly back and hoping it is starting to feel better now you are taking a break from work.
Morning Lively. Just popped by to wish you a super duper week.
Impressed with your post on Scotty's diary this morning. You certainly have a great deal of insight and understanding of what we are up against so a big thankyou from me to you for sharing your views.
Your words in chat yesterday prompted me to come up with the following mantra which I like:
🕺😁🕺"I am a compulsive gambler in recovery and I am in control."🕺😁🕺
Trust you are getting out and about for little strolls and savouring the beauty and splendour of our pleasant land.
My thought for the day is:
Fresh air, gentle exercise and a nutritional diet.
Thank you Stephen for your kind words. It always brightens up my day when I have a message from you.
Thank you to Charlieboy and Kev for your words of support.
Yesterday was a funny day with lots of ups and downs. It was also payday and happy in the knowledge that everything is paid for the month with money left over. Another chunk of debt paid off and the balance is going down.
Didnt do very much yesterday as I lacked motivation so hoping I’ll find some today when I’ve eventually had some sleep. I don’t know why I can’t seem to sleep these days, it’s almost 7am and I still haven’t had a wink of sleep. I’m sure this isn’t helping my emotions, especially as being tired increases my pain as it was the same yesterday. I hope I can get into a regular sleep pattern again soon. Still, on the positive I had a nice chat with someone else who couldn’t sleep.
Really going to give myself a good talking to when I get up to get some stuff done I’d planned to do so I’ve done something productive. All good on the gambling front - no urges and I am very content having money in the bank. Even when I do see adverts now I think to myself, I’ve got money in the bank so why would I even want to gamble. I find it amazing how now I can look at it in such a logical way and know that no good will ever come of it, that I didn’t ever really enjoy it, it was almost a slow painful torture and that it was my brain making excuses about if I just win this much that I’ll be able to pay this, this and that. What a terrible lie because the truth of it is, if I don’t gamble I can pay those things anyway, and that actually if I gambled non of those things would be paid. Even at times when I’m bored, which was my no1 trigger, the rational thoughts come into play and not the sneaky (hypothetical) voice in the background saying ‘go on, just a few goes, it won’t do any harm’.
Life is calm and that’s how I intend it to stay.
Hello Lively. Hope you are feeling good and enjoyed a peaceful nights sleep.
That final paragraph of your above post really struck a chord with me.
When thinking rationally I know perfectly well that the only thing I will ever get from gambling is remorse, shame and guilt so all I have to do is continue using a bit of common sense.
You certainly have a very good understanding of gambling addiction and I am often inspired by your words of wisdom. Many thanks for your help.
Wishing you every happiness today and throughout July.
Love and best wishes
Hi lively thanks for your kind words dreams can seem to be so real been trying to do some mindfulness before I go to sleep not work yet but will keep trying I know that they are only dreams I had them when I stopped gambling then they stopped I hope they stop soon hope you are ok it’s bit wet in wales today just got back from my walk going to have a coffee and a nice piece of cake no not banana cake 😂 hope to pop in chat later your friend scotty 🍌🍌❤️