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Paydays approaching!  

 
Jdall78
(@jdall78)

Hi!having registered with gamcare in the beginning of the month the support was overwhelming,had a good chat online with someone from gamcare which helped,had some useful information but being a compulsive gambler for 20 years and 20 years of trying to stop didnt really advice me on anything I didnt really already know,I was offered to apply for gambling rehab programme which I did,but after applying a member of the team contacted me and said she didnt think it was the right programme for me 🤔and told me my best option was talking regularly to a advisor of gamcare who she said would contact me,well 3 weeks later nothing,no support no phone call,everything's dried up,the thing is I'm hardened to this feeling of desperation,sadness,and broke as iv been here many times, so paydays approaching and iv not gambled for 3 weeks but the test is yet to come it when I get money in the bank and hope i can fight the feeling of relapsing i hope i stay strong as i realise i need to do this on my own only myself can beat this addiction.stay safe stay strong 

Quote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 8:18 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

Hi.

What is interesting is how that paycheck gets those fingers itching. Now, what would all casinos and gambling joints be like if we did not buy into their BS? The sad thing is how mechanical gambling has become. We think we will strike gold just to throw it back at the machine or the bookie or the roulette table. We don't strike gold that is life-changing. We normally win the same kind of win or we lose the same kind of paycheck just to find ourselves back at square one turning every penny that is left and eating pasta and ketchup for the rest of the month.

The fault is the repeat of the same action. Cheating the mind and the angst that this time will be different. IT IS LIKE GROUNDHOG DAY!  And we just won't wake up from it as we have been so toned by the ads, our bills our inability to do anything outside of the zombie state we find ourselves in.

If you want to change. Take action and do something. It will not change and it will not be different unless YOU decide to make it so. All your actions will have a consequence. Or as Jim Rohn says. For things to change YOU have to change. For things to get better YOU have to get better. Direction determines destination. Talk to admin here and they will get you started.

Regs

C

This post was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by c43h
ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 9:28 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi jdall78,

Thank you for posting on the Gam Care forum; and well done, by doing so it sounds like you're not ready to give up on the support available just yet. I am sorry that you have not heard back from the service you were in touch with, I'm not sure if that was one of our treatment agencies or a rehabilitation programme offered by Gordon Moody; perhaps this is something that we can help you to chase up?

In the meantime, and with payday approaching I wondered if you had any gambling blocks in place? While I understand that these are just barriers and you may be well versed in finding your way around them; it might also help you to feel like you starting to take back control of something, which for a long time the way you describe it, has had control over you. 

If you would like to get in touch with us again, we'd be happy to talk more; it does sound to me that little by little you are moving to a place of readiness to enable you in making such changes to move forward in your recovery.  Call anytime, we are here on the helpline 0808 8020 123 and on the netline (live chat) seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

Wishing you all the very best,

Helen

Forum Admin

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 11:55 am
Jdall78
(@jdall78)

Very wise words thank you very much 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 4:48 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi Jdall78 and welcome to the forum.

I have to say that you should have been building the foundations to avoid the payday test. Your money should ideally be going to a family member or trusted friend. That is very important!

If thats sound OTT over the top to you then  you dont understand the power of this devil on your shoulder

You have to restrict access to your own money and start learning about the sheer power of this addiction as a drug addiction.

Its not about treating you like a baby or feeling like a baby. Its about saving your life!

You have to do the cold turkey and on a sandwich allowance with people monitoring your finances and credit reports...you will be doing the cold turkey because thats what you need.

You are looking for a born again moment where you feel a serenity in reaching out for help and handing away control.

Tha payday test is just stressing you as your mind is fighting itself for control......will you... won't you is addictive thinking and the addiction controlling you. Its actually a form of gambling thinking...what are the odds you have the strength eh?

Its not like that. You are a grown adult with no control over an ill addicted mind. You have to face reality and there is no shame in that.

The foundations are you break the time, money location, triangle and the best way of doing that is challenging all three especially your access to money.

You will build a pride again in showing receipts and getting control of your life back. Gambling addiction is ill behaviour and you have been chucking money down a grid.

The addiction laughs at half hearted willpower. It needs the strongest of blocks and your complete openness and honesty with others

In your confused state you wont like this idea but what you should really be scared about is your gambling bahaviour. It not about just clicking your fingers and stopping with willpower alone

This addiction needs the big measures and a true born again moment

I say to everyone that you should have been planning far ahead of the payday test to avoid it. With the right measures in place you wont even be worried about payday because you wont be getting the money directly anyway. The bank could help by taking it into a savings account you dont have immediate withdrawal access to 

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 22nd May 2020 5:38 pm
Jdall78
(@jdall78)

Hi thank you, I am trying to build the foundations to stop before payday I have registered with gamban and gamstop I have also frozen my debit card with my bank and I do intend to give my mum  whatever I should have left after my bills but as you know dont matter how much you put in place there will also be a way to gamble if a compulsive gambler wish to do so, that is the test of your will power and desire to stop  I aim to be that person  and put over 20 years of misery behind me, thank you best wishes.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd May 2020 7:32 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Thats very good. I was sounding tough on you just to give you some food for thought about this addiction.

It is the people that sound tough that you will thank the most when your mind heals.

Yes of course you could find a way to gamble but the point is your mum would know and actually needs to assume you may well be gambling unless she sees your pride of providing full receipts and general reports about what you have been doing with yourself. 

Again this is for your benefit. Its a general born again attitude you would show towards it. My parents did any major transactions with me in the bank in the earlier days.

The trust that Im am running my life well has built up but not too much and they dont lend me money.  They know what my rainy day fund is and I wouldnt give them dodgy excuses again because they would investigate straight away. Thats the way I want it. I dont want their trust again because its a smaller price to pay compared with an addiction that was killing me.

They want to know what Im spending larger amounts on but thats fine because they have seen me rock bottom as a destroyed shell of a man. I dont have access to my full savings which is fine and they generally know what Im earning, my credit report with one low limit credit card( which can be immediately paid off any time) and whether all my bills are up to date. 

I tell them as I would my partner. Im proud to do so and look forward  to it

You can build a new relationship with money. Forget what others have and just enjoy what every pound buys you. Save for some nice things and the money does mount up again. It really is about the rub on rub off basics of learning again

You can never be complacent again but the mind does heal into a strength where you reject gambling if a thought pops up.

Just the thought of letting my dad down helped shape me up and i realised I needed the new connection with people around me and a new spiritual connection which doesnt have to be religious

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 23rd May 2020 5:22 am
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